Surf Journalist (pictured) in training. Photo: The singular Pat Stacy @patstacyfilm

Surf Journalist decides to test fitness gains gifted from ballet, prison, and paddle into dream southern California combo swell an almost-unimaginable twice in one day!

A man, reborn.

I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t care who knows it! Oh who could have ever guessed that a sleek, black strap wrapping my left wrist, directly above my Nixon Supremacy watch, would change my entire life? Make me a better husband, father, writer, friend, surfer?


The most beautiful sound I have ever heard.


All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word.

My personal transformation, crawling out of a morass of mental and physical inertia, began exactly one month ago for it was then that I admitted there was a problem, that I was a sedentary blob forever destined to be lightly below average, to have a lightly below average cutback, down carve, lip tap unless I did something about it. Unless I took action and was forced to measure my progress every waking, and sleeping, hour.


Say it loud and there’s music playing.


Say it soft and it’s almost like praying.

I first needed to reach a baseline of general fitness so began running and watched my strain levels rise, my stamina grow.

I next needed to build muscle so reached out to my famous bank robbing cousin, currently serving time in Oregon, for “prison bod” tips and watched my strain levels rise, my shoulders bulge.

A detour to Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch proved I was on the righteous path but needed more flexibility, dexterity. The fates responded by casting me as Mother Ginger in the famed Nutcracker ballet and I watched my strain levels rise, feet become nimble, as I attempted not to step on young Bon Bons hiding under the folds of my skirt.

Twelve days, out of October’s twenty-nine (so far), that my strain surged north of ten.

A fitness bonanza.

An aggressive slaying of personal mediocrity.

And then, like that, a gorgeous combination swell laced into Southern California. Water warm, air warmer, waves plentiful and peaky. Head high. Running across the various reefs and sandbars.

Was I ready?

I purposed to surf an almost-unimaginable twice in one day discover.

Paddling out in the morning, I felt strong, not winded, and sets stacking up out the back did not cause bile to rise for I knew that I could punch through them with my new convict arms. Oh, punch through I did and I caught waves very easily too, opening shoulders on turns, feeling reborn.

Paddling out in the afternoon, I felt sore but good sore, and did not falter on my pop-ups but was quick and clean and brave with enough energy to smirk at longboarders I zipped past on my Channel Islands Mid. Lightly spraying them.

A new man.

Afterward, heart beating healthy and proud, I checked my WHOOP application to see if I had kissed John John Florence levels of excellence.

The surfing, itself, still did not register as an “activity.”

More work to do, gains to see.

But would you like to join me on this journey? Buy your own WHOOP here and receive a fifteen percent discount if you use the code BEACHGRIT at checkout.

World’s 5th richest man Mark Zuckerberg announces Facebook changing name to Meta with extremely cool Kai Lenny foil video game: “I’ve got an idea… gotta pump it to jump it!”

"I'm gonna need a lot more sunscreen though..."

The world’s 5th richest man, and avid foil enthusiast, Mark Zuckerberg shocked observers, yesterday, with the announcement that his social media behemoth Facebook Inc. would be changing its name to “Meta.”

Per the Associated Press report:

Facebook Inc. is now called Meta Platforms Inc., or Meta for short, to reflect what CEO Mark Zuckerberg said Thursday is its commitment to developing the new surround-yourself technology known as the “ metaverse.” But the social network itself will still be called Facebook.

Also unchanged, at least for now, are its chief executive and senior leadership, its corporate structure and the crisis that has enveloped the company.

Skeptics immediately accused the company of trying to change the subject from the Facebook Papers, the trove of leaked documents that have plunged it into the biggest crisis since it was founded in Zuckerberg’s Harvard dorm room 17 years ago. The documents portray Facebook as putting profits ahead of ridding its platform of hate, political strife and misinformation around the world.

Zuckerberg then released a sneak peek into his own personal “metaverse.”

A foiling contest versus Maui’s Kai Lenny in which he receives a second place trophy.

And that is all I have to say about that.

Kelly Slater sparks all-in, multi-front blood feud pulling in world champs, other pros and journalists after posting new comment on Instagram; tells Ace Buchan, “Your comment is just an opportunity to virtue signal”

Kelly Slater at his caustic best!

Only two days after being mauled for his vax scepticism in an opinion piece in Australia’s The Sydney Morning Herald, Kelly Slater has opened multiple fronts, dragging in a who’s who of surfing, after responding to Ace Buchan’s comment on a post by Tracks magazine. 

Tracks jumped on the Herald piece, hard not to when a story is seared to a crunch and served with bread for sopping, and ran a pointer to it on their IG account.

Ace, who is thirty-nine, and a veteran of sixteen WSL seasons (best finish sixth in 2008), ran with what he figured was the voice of reason.  

Complex issue and everyone is entitled to their views and choices (whilst acknowledging that their choices in this case have a huge impact on those around then) …but is it not slightly alarming that professional athletes and more specifically surfers are completely over indexing in conspiracy theorists, anti vaxxers and spreading of misinformation? A group that also happens to over index in under education, over confidence and use of social media to digest and spread media? I wouldn’t listen to a bunch of doctors telling me which board to surf before a heat at Pipe, I’d chat to a bunch of my surfer friends ….but I wouldn’t listen to those same surfers tell me what to do and which medicine to take if I hurt myself in that heat, I’d go chase the doctors.

And the switchboards lit up. 

First, Slater, who turns fifty in a few months, and who’d previously told of friends dying from the vaccine, either from side-effects of suicide, wrote, 

@acebuchan I’ve yet to see a surfer giving advice on which medicines to take but feel free to show me. I’m personally against vaccine mandates for people in a free society with what the experts characterise as a leaky vaccine. So I think you’ve missed the point. When virologists and doctors acknowledge that you can catch and pass on covid because you carry a similar viral load when vaccinated, we’ve all got every right to be confused and should adamantly be asking questions. I’m not sure where you or anyone else missed the logic there. And I very well could be wrong but am happy to take that ‘risk’ whatever people assume that to be. Insinuating anyone is playing doctor here is a disappointing moment, a false equivalence, and nothing more than an appeal to authority. Your comment is just an opportunity to virtue signal.

Ian “Kanga” Cairns, rough, tough, big-wave hero, squirter of testosterone and lover of big chicken-fried steaks stood behind Kelly, as did two-thirds or so of the five hundred-ish comments. 

“In an era where Australia is being subjected to incredible levels of suppression of free speech and medical choice,” wrote Kanga, “@kellyslater should be applauded for taking a public stand for use of alternative treatments and opinions that have always been our prerogatives as Australians.” 

Much emotion and distorted angles and enough, I think, to lend the dullness of daily life an invigorating jolt. 

Scroll through here. 

Italo n Maria. Happier times.
Italo n Maria. Happier times.

Rumor: After witnessing Gabriel Medina win the 2021 World Surf League crown powered by the love of a beautiful woman, Olympic champ Italo Ferreira seeks to rekindle romance with his one-time gal!

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream.

The power of love is a curious thing, make-a one man weep, make another man sing. Change a hawk to a little white dove, more than a feeling, that’s the power of love. Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream, stronger and harder than a bad girl’s dream. Make a bad one good, make a wrong one right, power of love will keep you home at night and also, quite possibly, fuel a World Surf League Championship Tour title.

Brazilian Gabriel Medina’s run through the entire year was tres magnifique. One of the best seasons, start to finish, in professional surfing’s 45-year history. He could do no wrong, carrying the pressure, the weight, the stress with an easy smile, a laconic interview style never before seen.

The surf public immediately credited his new wife, the extraordinarily beautiful model Yasmin Brunet, with the transformation.

Gone was the dour of step-pappy Charlie. Ever-present the warm hazy glow of blonde Brunet et voila.


Olympic Gold medalist and erstwhile World Surf League Championship Tour winner Italo Ferreira was paying close attention, also crediting Brunet, and has, allegedly, sought to rekindle his own romance with the equally beautiful Maria Azevedo.

An inside source has confirmed “something happened” in the relationship after Ferreira won the 2019 crown, then Azevedo always by his side (read here). She wasn’t seen during the just-wrapped tour but the couple is famously tight-lipped even to friends.

Still, the source says, since Medina’s win Ferreira has been reaching out to Azevedo and the two have long nightly phone conversations covering “heavy topics.”

“Don’t be surprised if you see Maria at Italo’s side when the 2022 season begins in Pipe.”

A battle of gorgeous Brazilian power couples?

Peak surfing.

First time you feel it, it might make you sad. Next time you feel it, it might make you mad. But do be glad baby when you’ve found that the power makes the world go ’round.

Follow your dreams, kids.
Follow your dreams, kids.

Florida man shatters record by surfing unthinkable 638 waves over marathon 31-hours: “I need to get some carbs, some protein and some other things in me!”

Very satisfying.

Kurtis Loftus, hailing from Jacksonville Beach, Florida achieved the unthinkable, yesterday, and shattered what has long been held an unbreakable record by surfing a whopping 638 waves during a 31-hour marathon session.

The 60-year-old goofy foot, wearing what appeared to be a 3/2 wetsuit, gloves and Vans surf boots, surfed all day, all night, and six hours of the next day ending sometime in the afternoon, getting bathed in cheers from family, friends and amazed onlookers.

“I need to get some carbs, some protein and some other things in me, but rest, family and just be grateful,” Loftus told Jacksonville’s NBC affiliate after his last wave. “I mean, what we had, it was extraordinary. We couldn’t have asked for better weather, better support, and I have just enough stubbornness in me to make sure that I’m going to meet these goals.”

The ostensible reason for shredding so hard, so long, was to raise money for the non-profit Deck the Chairs which “promotes the arts and fosters community pride and involvement through a creative display of public art featuring lighted iconic lifeguard chairs” every holiday season in Jacksonville.

The real reason I imagine, though, was WHOOP.

Imagine the fitness gains after surfing 638 waves.

The strain meter pinned to the ceiling.

Very satisfying.