Sorta like the big wave scene in The Perfect Storm.

Scientists sail robotic surfboard into maw of strongest storm on earth; capture “unprecedented footage” of fifty-foot waves from inside hurricane!

Giancarlo Guardascione

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The video captured is as ominous as it is oppressive, like a cartoon Mount Everest coming to life. 

A robotic surfboard has been successfully navigated into the eye of what is, right now, the most powerful storm on earth, category 4 Hurricane Sam.

Scientists with Saildrone and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) worked together in piloting the drone surfboard just northeast of the eye of the big blow.

Saildrone’s skinny hull crowned by big red sail.

The video captured is as ominous as it is oppressive: waves, wind and a grim sky that resembles some cartoonish manifestation of Mount Everest coming to life. 

“Saildrone is going where no research vessel has ever ventured, sailing right into the eye of the hurricane, gathering data that will transform our understanding of these powerful storms,” said the company’s founder Rich Jenkins.

From the NOAA,

Equipped with a specially designed “hurricane wing,” enabling it to operate in extreme wind conditions, SD 1045 is braving Hurricane Sam in the open ocean, collecting real-time observations for numerical hurricane prediction models, which are expected to yield new insights into how large and destructive tropical cyclones grow and intensify.

SD 1045 is one of a fleet of five ‘hurricane’ Saildrones that have been operating in the Atlantic Ocean during hurricane season, gathering data around the clock to help understand the physical processes of hurricanes. This knowledge is critical to improving storm forecasting and is expected to reduce loss of human life by allowing better preparedness in coastal communities.

Wild, yes?

 

 

Teen surf hero Kayla Smith.

Using surfboard, teenage girl saves three men from certain death in wild Jersey Shore rescue! “They were sipping water, they couldn’t catch their breath!”

Giancarlo Guardascione

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"I was worried about them more than myself."

If further proof was needed of man’s relegation to “the weaker sex”, see also Harris v Biden, a teenage surfer has saved three men from dying in treacherous Jersey Shore seas. 

Kayla Smith, who is sixteen and a five-year surfing vet, had finished her session in Bayhead, New Jerz, and was waiting for her mother to pick her up when she noticed three men struggling in the surf. 

“I was worried about them more than myself,” Kayla told Philly News, “because I could tell that they were probably sipping on water from the ocean and everything. They couldn’t catch their breath.” 

The placement of Bayhead’s jetties filter sand into a deep-water drop off making it a high-tide spot. Couple this with a steep angled, sizable south swell and you have rip current escalators that love to carry unsalted civilians toward Lisbon for free.  

Kayla paddled out on her board and brought the men in. 

“I was like ‘I’ll balance the board for you guys, just kick to help me get in,’ because there’s no way I could have pulled them… no one could touch out there because there was probably like a 10-foot drop.”

 

 

 

Scandal erupts as Canadian Prime Minister, heartthrob, Justin Trudeau spends first-ever day honoring “lives lost and destroyed in the country’s detestable treatment of Indigenous peoples” by going surfing!

Chas Smith

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Seven layers of privilege.

Canada’s Prime Minister, official heartthrob Justin Trudeau has been leading his humble country for six years now, steering his Liberal Party to the very height of power. Dashing, daring, handsome.

Oh, the 50-year-old has had some run-ins with bad publicity, for example when photos surfaced of Trudeau wearing the very forbidden blackface not once, or twice, but thrice. At the time, he said, he did not understand the hurt he caused because “the layers of privilege that I have.”

And yesterday, too, when he spent Canada’s very first truth and reconciliation day surfing in Tofino.

The day was meant to “honour lives both lost and destroyed through our country’s detestable treatment of our Indigenous peoples,” and many were frustrated by the PM’s choice.

According to the Toronto Sun, “Tk’emlúps te Secwepemc, the First Nations community near Kamloops, B.C. where the bodies of as many 200 children were found buried outside of a residential school, tweeted they’d extended two ‘heartfelt’ invitations for the Prime Minister to commemorate the day with survivors and their families.”

Policy analysts imagine the snub will deepen the riffs between Trudeau and Canada’s Indigenous community.

Conservative Party of Canada spokesperson Chelsea Tucker piled on, declaring, “Truth and Reconciliation Day shouldn’t be treated like a holiday — but that’s what Justin Trudeau did.”

Trudeau, for his part, remained silent, maybe hooting his bros into kegs, maybe paying homage to the ancient Hawaiians.

Tough to say.

Back to layers of privilege, though, I have a good mind to make a nice seven layers of privilege dip for tomorrow’s college football Saturday.

Yum.

Simmers (pictured) riding high.

Listen: And Tyler Wright shall be like Damien Hardman, forever swept away by the all-new, all-high-flying female Momentum Generation!

Chas Smith

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Giveth/Taketh

Imagine being Damien Hardman. One moment there you are The Iceman bashing Kong, hoisting Bells bells, sipping on gin and juice. The next you have been utterly and completely nullified by a new crop of brash young things calling themselves “The Momentum Generation” all listening to Pennywise and doing whirligigs on their weird surfboards.

But such are seismic shifts and to be, accidentally, on the other side when one is happening is to be truly unlucky.

Hardman got earthquaked with Slater, Machado, Dorian, Knox, et. al. progressing surfing at a ludicrous pace and sent off to early-adjacent retirement.

Now, so to will Tyler Wright and the rest of the women on the current World Surf League Championship Tour, or at least according to David Lee Scales.

I asked him about Caitlin Simmers’ U.S. Open win over the weekend and what it meant. “She surfs like Dane Reynolds,” he told me. “Between her, Sierra Kerr, Erin Brooks etc. there is going to be a total bloodletting on tour. These girls are going to be like the Momentum Generation, sweeping in and taking everyone out. It’s over.”

I asked him if Stephanie Gilmore would survive.

“Yes,” he responded. “She’ll be like Tom Curren.”

It’s good to be queen.

Listen here.

Surf darling, pop sensation Shakira attacked by wild boars in Spain, bravely faces son at moment of truth: “They’ve destroyed everything. Milan, tell the truth. Say how your mummy stood up to the wild boar.”

Chas Smith

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Kill 'em all.

I don’t know if any VAL (Vulnerable Adult Learner) story is as heartwarming as pop sensation Shakira’s. Just one month ago she took to Instagram, from the Basque Country Wavegarden, to order her VAL peers to teach their children to surf.

A theoretical decimation of an invasive species but, speaking of, our surf darling was just attacked by two wild boars whilst hiking with her son, Milan, in a park near Barcelona.

According to the BBC:

She shared her bizarre tale in a series of Instagram stories on Wednesday.

Holding the now recovered but torn bag towards the camera, she said: “Look at how two wild boar which attacked me in the park have left my bag.”

“They were taking my bag to the woods with my mobile phone in it,” the singer continued. “They’ve destroyed everything.”

She then turned to her son, whose father is the Barcelona footballer Gerard Piqué, and said: “Milan tell the truth. Say how your mummy stood up to the wild boar.”

Apparently nasty wild boar are reaching epic proportions in Catalonia. Too many rooting etc.

I, myself, experienced the pestilence on Oahu and hunted one to death.

Read here.

But now to VALS.

What to do?

How to sort?

When will bags go missing etc.?

More as the story develops.