"LFG. Let’s foxing go. This would be a dream come true. Oh my gosh."
Oh but The Ultimate Surfer is a gift that certainly keeps on giving. Most recently, winner on the men’s side Hawaiian Zeke Lau has officially qualified for the 2022 World Surf League Championship Tour with a fair finish at the just-wrapped Quiksilver Pro, France.
Many bravos but you will certainly recall that the present for becoming The Ultimate Surfer was three wildcards into the aforementioned tour.
The selfsame Lau no longer needs.
Though what to do with them?
The Ultimate Surfer runner-up, or Penultimate Surfer, Koa Smith has decided, by right, that they belong to him and is going on a scorched earth campaign in order to take and hold.
In an attempt to shame Santa Monica’s WSL into submission, the blonde Hawaiian took to Instagram and declared, “Ok Zeke requalified for the Championship Tour. That means his Ultimate Surfer wildcards are just floating in the air, up for grabs. Should I get them as runner-up to The Ultimate Surfer? If you think so, repost this story and @ the WSL. LFG. Let’s foxing go. This would be a dream come true. Oh my gosh. Let’s storm WSL.”
A potent mix of common sense, shame and heartfelt-ness.
Burning the potential competition to the ground.
Smith has 261,000 followers on Instagram, a fine amount, and no doubt they are doing their very best to help him reach his dream but I think Alejandro Moreda should be gifted one. He only has 14,000 followers but is a wonderful boy.
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Koa can surf with anyone,anywhere& anytime,and beat them too.Not many can rip,in Hawaiian sized surf,like he does& he will buy you lunch( first he would win yer lunch money;
who?
So there you have it ,just imagine what the crew slogging it out for years on the QS searching for a break must think when they are humped by two dudes of a fucking TV show , OMG WTF WSL 🙁 and a bunch of other new age shit i cant do.
The wild card should go to that dude thst went over the falls in his boat in Indo he is totally rad.
No whoop plug. Empty
His stance is not fun to watch.
Haha you total cunt!
koa is perfect for the wsl
I finally realize what this site is all about. Actual surfing is irrelevant. You guys are the beach TMZ. All trying to act cool and detached but utterly dependent on irrelevant celebrity garbage and surf gossip. For example, how many true surfers really give a shit about Jonah Hill’s latest girlfriend? I sure didn’t, but I learned about it on your site. I have resisted block beachgrit from my Google feed because I couldn’t pinpoint my distaste. It’s all so self-conscious and lame. Now I’m free!!!
BG commenters come in all shapes, sizes, intellects (or the lack thereof), and sexual orientation. You can’t paint us with such broad brushstrokes.
Upvote for the Vojonah Hill example.
Hey we’re all the same orientation cunt! Closeted homosexuals!
Come again?….
Jonah Hill’s girlfriend? No shit, Jonah’s a guy?
From the look of dem eyes he definitely has a scorched lung campaign going on
You know that the world has truly gone to shit when you find yourself agreeing with Koa Smith.
If the wsl stays true to their course they will do what everyone doesn’t want and give it to Nat Young.
Don’t forget about Sea Bass.
He’s cool though! Dig Seabass!
Koa can surf, he would be fun to watch on the tour
Koa Smith, the Proximate Surfer
I recall Surfer magazine’s website running an article about him and his brothers living in a dry docked yacht on the North Shore. A boring story about the lack of accommodation locally. In the comments section all these new avatars popped up saying “cool story, you should run that in the magazine” the next avatar saying “I concur, this needs to be in the magazine”. There was a number of dubious posts saying the same thing. Now I’m not suggesting that it was Koa and his brothers self promoting themselves….
Were they all in there dry docking together?
I’ve seen these guys chased out of a spot they were trying to ruin. Like human geotags, these cunts. It’s like they go on surf trips to blow out spots, self promote, film indigenous people out of air conditioned car window. Surfing is like 10th on the list of things they do on a surf trip.
The type of guy that gets a 20 second tube in Namibia and is bummed because his go pro wasn’t recording!
Given the comedy that is the wild card system – it wouldn’t surprise me to see Ben Gravy take a wild card next year. Or will the WSL award a wild card to previous world champs again. Seriously though, there are a few guys who genuinely couldn’t compete due to injury last year who ain’t getting a wild card, so really I would prefer to see a spot go to them now the injury wild cards have been allocated.
I’d rather watch Ben Gravy than Koa
You’re fucking high
We have to be to enjoy WSL events
*YORE…
Dickhead
I seriously laughed out loud.
Thank you!
What does Sophie think? And where is Ronnie G?
Tennis Tour!
Prove me wrong!?
Bobby Martinez fact check says: TRUE!
Get rid of the wild card and half of the remaining tour.
And stop at nothing to hold events in legitimate surf. So many sick spots on tour, but they always seem to settle for terrible waves.
Give the wildcard to Jonah I want to be caddy at pipe
“Hitting the reef with your head there cuz, think you should go for the foamy”
Your angle is obvious and transparent! You only want Jonah there so a new sticker can be made:
“Jonah ruined the Pipe”
I’ll ruin his pipe for a small fee
I’ll offer the following:
– Laird’s cologne
– Kelly Slater autographed Surf ranch t-shirt
– A lock of Sophie Goldschmidt’s hair
Is the cologne bottle still full or have you been using it? You have been haven’t you! You love Laird
I have a case of the cologne, I mean come on…
And some of Kelly’s Bone Broth would be a necessity to revive after going over the falls for sure
Tom I am struggling with the bone broth comment. But only due to being mature and knowing I shoudn’t be laughing my ass off right now!
Maybe if Koa didnt open so many boxes he could have focused on his QS campaign like everyone else. Go sink your teeth into the QS is you want a spot on tour you beaver.
Visualise your goals and do nothing to attain them.
Those unboxing videos were the biggest house surfer move ever. Don’t his masters owe him something for that self-flagellation?
Whatever he sinks his teeth into will not get away. Lookit those things.
Sweet set of choppers.