Facebook whistleblower made furious by company’s surf-infused pivot to “metaverse” calls for Kauai local Mark Zuckerberg’s ouster: “Over and over Facebook chooses expansion and new areas instead of sticking the landing on what they’ve already done!”

Gotta pump it to jump it.

And the heat has risen, yet again, under the already hot seat occupied by the world’s 5th richest man, Kauai local, Mark Zuckerberg with much-loved Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen declaring that her former leader should step down instead of “devoting resources” to a surf-infused rebrand.

Speaking publicly for the first time at a tech gathering in Lisbon, Portugal (very near famous big wave Nazare and the name of Facebook’s new Google Glass), Haugen told the wall-to-wall crowd, “I think it is unlikely the company will change if [Mark Zuckerberg] remains the CEO. Maybe it’s a chance for someone else to take the reins… Facebook would be stronger with someone who was willing to focus on safety. Over and over Facebook chooses expansion and new areas instead of sticking the landing on what they’ve already done.”

The adoring audience burst into roaring applause numerous times, especially at the very pointed “extreme foil” reference to “sticking the landing.”

It will certainly sting Zuckerberg to hear that he has not “stuck the landing” but also he may find some small comfort in knowing that he is working on it every day with good friend Kai Lenny. Knowing that “You’ve gotta pump it to jump it.”

Back to Haugen, though, and there she sat on stage positively beaming, a modern tech angel.

Saint Frances of Menlo Park.

Do you think all the beatification deserved?

Do you think that Zuckerberg is a real boy?

More questions than answers.

Officials beg public to steer clear of ultra-exclusive surf spot Little Dume after landslide threatens to plunge cliffside mansions into the ocean!

But potential for lemonade out of lemons?

Oh but to have a key to the gate leading to Little Dume, just north of Malibu, is to have a bit of heaven jingle-jangling in your pocket. The ultra-exclusive beach, break, just north of Malibu has long been home to a very lucky few who live in somnolent green folds, wander down a well-kept path whilst sipping coffee infused with MCT oil, use their key to open the gate to check the waves to maybe surf with ultra-exclusive friends or loved ones.

A wondrous place but, currently, under much threat as a landslide, yesterday, has threatened to cast cliffside multi–million dollar mansions into the Pacific.

Per news reports, the slide happened sometime around noon near Cliffside Drive. Causation was unclear but officials urged the public to avoid the area as they seek to figure out what to do next and if more slides are imminent.

Might it be an option to let at least one of the multi-million dollar mansions slide and see if it creates an ultra-ultra-exclusive new reef?

A key within a key?

Like Inception for rich people.

Very cool.

Luke, forty five, and Daddy Shane, eighty, prepare to douse Los Angeles with alternate squirts of red paint and testosterone.

Ex-world #11 surfer Luke Stedman and the fitness band that allows him to track the health of his post-op daddy, the legend behind Shane surfboards and inventor of the ugg boot!

Work better, train harder, love longer!

Luke Stedman is a man I’ve known for two decades, one of those rare surfers who, although never highly monied, flourished post tour.

Recently, Luke, who is forty-five, moved from California to just behind Lennox Head to form a family cocoon, a commune, around his Daddy Shane, creator of the ugg boot and the eponymous surfboard manufacturer SHANE.

Shane, just turned eighty although still squirting testosterone, is a few months out of surgery to remove “balloons” in his chest. These growths squashed his lungs, reducing his ability to breathe by eighty-five percent. 

Couple the fibrous growths with emphysema and Luke says his old boy could barely walk to the end of the street without stopping to suck in gutfuls of air, as if he’d just run a marathon. 

So, six months ago, they sold the family house of almost forty years at 61  Hillcrest Avenue at Mona Vale there for five mill and bought a hunk of land at Tintenbar, five miles north-west of Ballina. 

“Buying some land, throwing a couple of shacks on it and moving dad up the coast so he can watch the grandkids and we can keep an eye on the old grommet,” Luke said. 

Around that time, Luke started wearing a WHOOP, primarily to understand his sleeping patterns. 

Like most of us, Luke figured he was getting a ton of sleep, couldn’t work out why he was tired some days. 

His WHOOP revealed, as it did to me, that “I wasn’t sleeping as good as I thought. REM not as much. Waking up more than I thought. When you’re half-asleep you don’t understand how often you’re waking up or getting out of bed.” 

With that info, Luke worked with a naturopath to get onto various supplements, to help change his sleep patterns,  

“Now, I feel way better, recover quick, perform better.” 

He discovered that his recovery was based on the amount of water he’d drink during the day, as well as sleep and rest. 

Luke says he knows his body pretty well but his strap helped him identify which parts of his wildly active day – training others early, surfing, strangling men at jiujitsu, training kids, maybe surfing again – he needed to cut back on so he wasn’t feeling perpetually drained. 

Once he got comfortable understanding the metrics of his own physical behaviour, Luke strapped his WHOOP onto his old boy’s wrist to monitor his general heart and his recovery.

He says it’s the “best thing ever, it allowed me to understand my dad day to day. When you get older you become like a young kid and you lie like a young kid. I’ll say, ‘Hey Dad, did you walk today’ and he’ll say, ‘Yeah, mate!’ and then I’ll look at his WHOOP and see it’s actually at five-point-five or whatever (twenty-one is the theoretical max). All he did was walk around the dining table!” 

Sleep is the “wildest” metric, says Luke. 

Shane wakes up all through the night, has long breaks of being awake and his REM (deep sleep period) is low. 

So, same with Luke, they worked on ways to get Daddy Shane sleeping all through the night. The heart rate monitor ain’t a bad thing to have on a stud well into his winter years, either. 

“We all know Dad will live to be one hundred but we want to make sure our eyes are on him. As you get older, you realise the importance of family and having your community around you. I want to hang out with him while I can.”


Facebook shares plunge as investors reject founder, foil enthusiast, Mark Zuckerberg’s pivot to surf-infused Metaverse: “The scale of the new project poses a risk of capital destruction!”


Facebook shares plunged to a five-month low, Monday morning, as investors came to terms with founder, and Kauai land baron, Mark Zuckerberg’s pivot toward a surf-infused Metaverse where all manner of boy, girl, gender non-specified can foil with superstar Kai Lenny.

Per the original announcement, Zuckerberg’s underlings ask him if he’s ready for a VR foiling “sesh” to which the world’s 5th richest man replies, “Now this is more my style.”

He is then transported inside a game wherein he dresses in whiteface then paddles into left and goes right, bobbling on his way up.

Lenny provides encouragement, telling him to “hang in there.” Zuckerberg responds, “You’ve gotta pump it to jump it,” then gets second place.

Wall Street was not won over with CFRA analyst Angelo Zino telling investors, “(The foil Metaverse) will take years to come to fruition while coming at a steep price.”

Bank of America estimated that Facebook will sink over $50bn into the foilverse at a risk of “capital destruction.”

Others, though, were less bearish with James Muldoon, a senior lecturer at the U.K.’s University of Exeter, saying, “Meta wants to own the digital infrastructure of 21st century life. They want to be the first mover in a new world of product, so that their hardware and software becomes the default.”

What software is needed for foiling?

Currently more questions than answers.


“Chilling, profoundly disturbing” occultist roots of stand-up paddleboarding exposed in Southern California as witches and warlocks “trade brooms for paddles” on Samhain!

What evil lurks in the heart of man...

Oh but I do trust that you had an enjoyable evening last night celebrating Halloween with children, friends, loved ones. And did you dress up yourself? Play some whimsical character? Take the little ones door to door for candied treats whilst chatting with the neighbors for the first, and only, time of the year? Go out to a “grown-up” party featuring many naughty kittens and naughty nurses? Fireball whiskey cocktails?

Or are you a very scary necromancer who practices dark magick, lets the evil Ouija board guide your steps, and spent Samhain stand-up paddleboarding with likeminded Satanists?

Redondo Beach’s Daily Breeze is reporting that the chilling, profoundly disturbing occultist roots of SUPing were put on display, yesterday, in the town’s marina.

Dress in black, don a pointy witch’s hat, grab a stand-up board and a paddle — one that can be easily mistaken in the fog as a broom.

It’s the perfect tableau for a spooky Halloween scene.

Organizer Erin Hansen summoned water-loving witches and warlocks for the second annual South Bay Witches Paddle on Halloween day. The Redondo Beach resident had the idea to create the coven last year after seeing a post about a similar event in Morro Bay.

And the idea took off.

To add to the magic, Hansen held a witches costume contest via social media.

Hansen, a sixth-grade math teacher at Chadwick School on Palos Verdes Peninsula, said that since last Halloween came amid the heart of the coronavirus pandemic, seeing everyone on the water, safely having fun, made the inaugural Witches Paddle a gratifying experience.


As you may, or may not, know, Redondo Beach is next door to Manhattan Beach and Manhattan Beach is home to SUP aficionado, and CEO of the World Surf League, Erik Logan.

Does the idea of The Ultimate Surfer make more sense now?