Green and gold über alles.

BeachGrit is known to be many things, most importantly anti-depressive, but there is no way to spin recent dark comments from Australian superstar, one-time Championship hopeful Julian Wilson into light. No how to find any such silver lining as the black cloud that just emanated from his handsome mouth covers the sky as far as the eye can see.

For in a sit-down with Australia’s august Daily Telegraph the famous Wilson laid absolute waste to the World Surf League’s “Dream Tour” and also to the hopes any young American, Australian, South African, Frenchman might ever have of winning a championship for themselves.

His revelation of the dystopia came to him during this past summer’s Olympic Games in Tokyo wherein he got to see the future up close.

“The Olympics were better than I imagined,” he began, “And I just felt so much responsibility representing Australia … it was so much bigger than I thought — nothing like a surfing event and I was blown away.Even without spectators it is the biggest event I have surfed at. The athletes village, the Opening Ceremony … the athletes were like avatars, they were such specimens and so primed and just ready for their Olympic moment. And the Brazilians all year have been the ones to beat. With all the changes that have happened with the world tour and the competition schedule …the Brazilians have been too hungry. They are just tenacious and with the waves, most people would say a lot of the waves at world tour events were mediocre this year compared to the standard wave quality, but the Brazilians just stepped up. Until we go back to the full schedule of events they will be hard pressed to beat, they are used to making the most of messy, inconsistent waves.”

Wilson had time to ruminate on the poor quality waves and the Brazilians who surfed them so well during three separate isolation stints totaling three weeks and decided to step away, now fronting Oakley’s “Be Who You Are” campaign which encourages children “that they don’t have to conform, to be brave and embrace who they really are.”

i.e. not a surfing world champion if hailing from America, Australia, South Africa or France.

Green and gold über alles.

Forward foot thinking!

History will look back on the 2020s as Kai Lenny Time and boy has it ever been. The Maui local, Jaws maven, is currently ubiquitous across our landscape. From creating a Metaverse with Facebook founder, and world’s 5th richest man, Mark Zuckerberg to announcing his upcoming twins will be girls at the aforementioned Jaws to appearing on the very popular podcast Dirty Water, the handsome waterman has been everywhere.

Deserving.

Can you imagine a better statesman for our fallen kind?

No and never and now Kai, and his brother Ridge, are vowing to change transportation forever.

In an explosive Wall Street Journal feature, the two discuss how they plan to change the very idea of transportation by making foils as ubiquitous in the ocean as electric scooters are on land.

I skimmed the story then got logged out and left crying behind the paywall but if you are a Wall Street Journal subscriber you can, and should, read every bit here.

Lachlan Murdoch will thank you.

If not a subsriber, what I recall is that Kai Lenny and his brother Ridge made a foil company, Kai “commuted” around very crowded Manhattan Island easier on a foil than on land.

How they want to maybe have others do the same.

I don’t know.

I was very busy dancing ballet today.

Great idea though as long as none of them are pretending to surf.

Commuting in Chicago etc.

The Gold Coast.

Manhattan Beach.

No?

I defy you to disagree.

Villainous.

Honolulu firefighters were responding, yesterday, to a fire burning up a magazine rack near Kalakaua Avenue’s Apple Store at 4:00 am when they were alerted to the fact that a much more destructive blaze was engulfing a surfboard rack half a block away, near the Cheesecake Factory.

They bravely rushed over to Nalu’s Storage and had the flames extinguished a mere fifteen minutes later, saving countless surfboards though were unable to save them all as a few dozen became blackened, melted.

Locals are outraged, baffled, by this unprecedented spread of terror aimed at surfboards as this was the second surfboard rack to be put under torch in as many weeks, the third in 20 months.

The owner of the facility, Maurie Feldberg, told Hawaii’s KHON News, “I just couldn’t believe when I got the phone calls and the news that this was happening. I don’t understand why this riff-raff is existing in Waikiki to the extent it is these days.”

Local surfer Charlie Roesner added, “As soon as I saw the yellow tape, I thought I’m afraid it happened again. And it’s just really sad because it’s happened three times now.”

A very disturbing trend which begs the question: Are these copycat crimes? The work of one deranged villain who hates surfboards?

Hates surfers?

Actual RiFF-RAFF?

Eerily reminiscent to the man who appeared to target cans in the 1979 horror classic The Jerk.