Don't mess with the bull or you'll get the horn. Number
one, jiujitsu, number one, BeachGrit, number one, Surf Splendour
and a couple of waves shy of king of surf.
Surf Journalist discovers “antipatico”
towards fellow surfers key to improved performance!
WHOOP leverages peer pressure to squeeze previously
unheard of gains out of average shredders…
I’m no winner, which is obvious.
The level of intensity and antipatico needed to triumph over
another man, woman, non-binary fellow, business competitor, is
beyond anything I’m willing to conjure.
(Antipatico, of course, is how you feel when you see someone you
dislike drowning in a river and you refuse to help even if it is a
very hot day in summer and you are dreaming of having a nice
swim.)
Here, I must win, even if only for an hour, for various time
zones mean while I surf, others sleep, and therefore an average
man, with a little effort, can triumph over thousand of other
surfers or stranglers or joggers.
BeachGrit and Surf Splendour, very easy to win, Charlie and
David Lee Scales have an obstinacy to move that verges on the
masochistic, Whoop on the Waves, 1500 members, Jiu Jitsu, 2500, not
so much.
Feeling like the sexiest boy in the
world!
So you get up a little earlier, go for a run, catch a dozen
extra waves, put extra heat behind that strangle.
All to beat people I’ll never meet, never surf or roll with, but
for whom I will kill myself to destroy.
Blacks, there in the shadow of Torrey Pines
just north of San Diego, is one of southern California’s most
famous bigger wave spots. It lurches out of the deep water canyons
running off that part of the coast and throws a meaty barrel being
able to hold more size than neighboring reefs and sandbars.
All very fine but its beach is also clothing optional with many
older hippies sunning their bits and bobs.
Unique.
And even more unique now that an ultra-rare deep water ghoul
washed up and mingled with the nudes.
Jay Beiler was out walking the strand beneath the Glider
Port in Torrey Pines last Saturday. It was almost sunset, he said,
sometime around 4:40 p.m., when he stumbled upon … it.”
“I have never seen anything quite like this before,” Beiler
said. “You know, I go to the beach fairly often, so I’m familiar
with the territory, but I’ve never seen an organism that looked
quite as fearsome as this.”
What was it?
“At first I thought it was a — like a jellyfish or
something, and then I went and looked at it a little more
carefully, and some other people were gathered around it too, and
then I saw that it was this very unusual fish,” Beiler
said.
What was so unusual about it?
“It’s the stuff of nightmares — mouth almost looked bloody!”
Beiler said. “I’d say it was nearly a foot long.”
But what was it?
One of the seven horseman of the VALpocalypse?
A naked Jonah Hill as Jerry Garcia?
Oh no. Ben Frable of the Scripps Institution of Oceanography,
says it was simply, “one of the larger species of anglerfish, and
it’s only been seen a few times here in California, but it’s found
throughout the Pacific Ocean. How you have something from that deep
in the ocean … it washing up on the beach here in San Diego has
partially to do with the underwater topography of the coastline
here on the coast, all the way off of La Jolla here — this was
obviously found on Black’s. Up the beach a bit, you have what are
called submarine canyons, where water and sediments are running off
and it can get really deep, really quickly very close to
shore.”
Specifically, it was a female Pacific footballfish, the very
same that appeared in the heart-warming film Finding Nemo.
Perfect for the season.
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One man a surfing legend, the other sceptical of Greg
Long's environmental bona fides.
Wildly influential surfboard shaper and
Jonah Hill lookalike Matt Biolos challenges big-wave legend Greg
Long’s environmental bona fides, “I hope you back it up by not
wearing the Chinese-made, oil tanker-inported clothing co that you
work for!”
'We, the human race, still need a lot of oil, or
millions will starve and go unclothed," says master shaper Matt
Biolos.
Three days ago, Greg Long, surfing’s most decorated
big-wave surfer and a man who was dragged unconscious onto the deck
of a boat after nearly drowning at Cortes Bank, posted a passionate
screed against Dutch company Shell hunting oil off the
South African coast.
The fossil fuel industry is destroying our oceans and
future! Despite being just days after the COP26 climate conference
where global leaders agreed on the urgent need for climate action
and ecological preservation, on Dec. 1 Shell Oil will begin
catastrophic seismic surveying off the coast of South Africa in
search of oil or gas deposits.
The vessel operated by Shell Exploration will, for five
months, drag up to 48 air guns methodically through 6,011km² of
ocean surface, from Morgan Bay to Port St Johns, (The Transkei
Coast) firing extremely loud shock wave emissions that penetrate
through 3km of water and 40km into the Earth’s crust below the
seabed. The ship will work around the clock, firing the air guns
every 10 seconds. In the process, marine life on the sensitive Wild
Coast will be panicked and damaged.
It is time we hold government and industry
accountable. We need systemic change that protects our
natural world, rather than exploiting it.
Greg asked followers if they might join in a protest if they
happened to be in South Africa and, or, sign a
petition.
All very nice, hard to argue with and so on, at least from the
cocoons of our six-cylinder SUVs and with houses warmed and cooled
by, mostly, coal-powered electricity.
Matt Biolos, shaper to the stars and anything but a wallflower,
was quick to point out the hypocrisy in the post.
“I believe you’re doing good and passionate work, Greg. It’s a
difficult situation,” Biolos began diplomatically before
administering the fatal coup de grâce.
“I hope you back it up by driving electric cars, eating only
locally sourced food, no longer traveling by air, not wearing the
the Chinese made ( oil tanker imported) clothing Co that you work
for and other radical personally sacrificing changes to make a true
example of what’s needed to live with out developing more oil
resources. (Personally, We now have have two E-cars in our
household, as a small start) but the facts are, every product is
moved around the world on fossil fuel burning ships and planes. We
need 1000 Elon Musk types , ballzy enough to re-create the
industrialized world…which will take 50+ years, at least. In
transition, we (human race) still needs a lot of oil, or millions
will starve and go unclothed.”
Subsequent replies and back and forthing centred on whether or
not electric cars were much of an improvement, what with their damn
batteries and the need to charge those batteries with electricity
sourced from fossil-fuel powered electricity.
A circular firing squad!
Everyone dies!
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In metaphorically rich moment, bald eagle
swoops down from the sky and steals man-eating shark from proud
Florida fishermen thereby reinstating its, and America’s, position
atop the surf food chain!
Kolohe Andino for the World Surf League
Championship tour title in 2022.
In a moment beautiful enough to make any
patriotic American surfer stand and salute, a bald eagle just days
ago swooped down from the sky and made a shark its…. well its
prey.
The metaphorically rich tableau was captured by Florida men Chad
Rissman and his uncle Darren Vick who happened to be fishing on the
Dunedin Causeway when they snagged a man-eater.
Vick told Fox News, the only outlet this story belongs upon, “We
are just sitting there talking. The line got tight and slack.”
Rissman, providing color, added, “I was reeling it in my uncle
was going to grab the line. As the leader is coming up, I said I’d
get a hold of the shark.”
But Vick would not, in fact get a hold of the shark as American
dominance re-asserted itself by reclaiming its spot atop the food
chain both real and metaphorical.
Even though he did not get a hold of the shark, Vick accurately
described the scene as “brushing the greatness of the country all
into one picture and one experience.”
These colors don’t run.
Kolohe Andino for the World Surf League Championship tour title
in 2022.
Smart money.
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Unknown sixteen-year-old from Inner
Hebrides island turns big-wave surfing world on its head; rides
world’s biggest wave Nazare, says, “I don’t know if I’m a big-wave
surfer yet!”
While most sixteen year olds in Scotland are swilling
Buckie and tanning windows, or
sitting in their bedrooms crying, Ben Larg is taking Nazaré
bombs on the head and getting amongst it.
And all with zero fanfare.
To understand what Ben’s doing requires a little context.
He’s already ridden giant Mullaghmore in Ireland when he was just
fourteen, as well as several other legit European heavy water
spots.
Yet he comes from a tiny island off the west coast of Scotland
with no notable surf scene.
The island of Tiree is a pancake flat dot in the Inner Hebrides.
It has a population of only 650 people and is roughly ten miles
long and five miles wide.
There’s a beachbreak for almost every swell and wind direction,
but the latter is so consistent and strong (with no trees or hills
to interrupt it) that the island has traditionally been a haven for
windsurfers and kitesurfers.
These days it’s a bit of a winter graveyard of holiday rentals,
populated in the summer by bankers from Glasgow who took up surfing
during lockdown. When I was there recently it was overrun by
fifty-somethings in Teslas with mini-mals strapped to the roof.
SUPs and paunches were also popular.
But from the unlikely sands of (middling beachbreak) Balevullin,
where his family’s shack on the beach provides surf lessons to the
progeny of Scotland’s suburban go-getters on summer staycations,
Ben Larg is rising.
(To be fair, it’s not all pishing rain and gales for days. Ben
follows the swallows south towards Africa around November, spending
the last few winters in Lanzarote.)
He tackled Nazare a few days ago on boards borrowed from Nick
Von Rupp, his unofficial chaperone into the line-up. The two met
when Von Rupp was in Scotland recently (YouTubing it to death) and
enlisted Ben and his ski to whip him into a
heavy slab up North.
They kept in touch and it wasn’t long before Ben got a call to
see if he fancied tackling arguably the most famous big wave spot
in the world.
Or at least the one that has captured most mainstream attention
for the cartoon-ish images of waves against the context of the
lighthouse and viewing area on the cliff.
“It was like a football stadium or something,”Ben says. “You can
hear everybody cheering when you’re getting waves, and when you’re
getting worked!”
Little Ben grabs the horns of his water-moto at
Nazaré.
I ask him if he took any heavy ones. “I took the biggest set of
the day on the head when I was paddling,” he says. “It’s a really
heavy wave, you’re under the water for a long time. But I’ve got a
good mindset, I stay quite calm.”
Ben wears a float vest and I wondered how many times he’d pulled
it, expecting at least once or twice, but I’m surprised by his
answer.
“I’ve never ever pulled it, I like to save up the canisters,” he
laughs. “It’s kind of a goal of mine. I’ve not done it yet, so I
said to myself I wasn’t going to do it at Nazaré and I didn’t.”
I’m struck by the composure of a sixteen year old taking on some
of the world’s most iconic big waves. Early in our conversation
it’s clear that Ben Larg is cut from a different cloth.
There’s no bravado, no bullshit.
He seems naturally self-effacing.
“I don’t know if I’m a big wave surfer yet,” he says at one
point when I’ve referred to him as such.
He spent a lot of the sessions at Nazaré doing safety on the ski
for Von Rupp and others, as well as paddling and towing several
waves of his own.
It seems a heavy load for someone so young, not just dealing
with your own waves, but looking out for other, more experienced
surfers you’ve only just met.
“It’s a super sketchy place to drive the ski on the inside
there,” Ben told me. “Hardest place I’ve ever driven.”
But this seems all part of the experience for him, and working
with the skis is part of it.
“I just love surfing big waves. I love driving the skis and
stuff, I’ve always been a massive motorhead. I’ve ridden motorbikes
my whole life.”
He was surprised by how busy it was with skis buzzing around and
roughly twelve tow teams.
“My paddle waves were good waves, but I never got the proper set
waves I wanted. Natxo Gonzalez was on the bombs. I want to paddle
it bigger,” he says.
Ben has aspirations of being a big-wave surfer, but doesn’t seem
comfortable with the self-promotion that’s arguably necessary to
make it.
His Instagram account is quiet.There’s roughly one post a
month and sometimes months on end of nothing.
“I hate to talk myself up,” he says. “I’m super inactive on
social media, but after staying with Nick (Von Rupp) he says I have
to do it.”
It’s an admirable approach, and a pretty remarkable outlier as
far as teenagers go, nevermind teenagers pushing limits in heavy
surf.
He’ll probably be forced to amp up his online game if he wants
to get noticed and keep sponsors happy, but I would hope some
brands might recognise the long term value in authenticity and
simply being out there rather than talking yourself up online.
Walk softly and carry a big stick, as they say.
Stories are always more powerful if you let others tell them for
you.
I ask Ben if he realises that he’s ridden the biggest waves ever
by a Scottish surfer.
He laughs and says he hasn’t thought about it like
that.
“I was stoked just to be the only Scottish guy in the
water.”
And his plans for the future?
“Maybe post more than once a year on Instagram…or I could go
onto TikTok and flick my hair about a bit.”
