Not peak.
Not peak.

Surf journalist blatantly ignores personalized digital fitness and health coach leading to a series of unfortunate decision making!

Not cool.

Last evening, at roughly 8:30, my personalized digital fitness and health coach instructed me that if I hoped to achieve peak performance the following day, I should consider going to bed.

My life partner, Derek Rielly, maybe sensing shakiness in the quality of my life after an ill-conceived suggestion regarding a three-time surfing champion, also advised that I “focus on sleep” and calm my humors.

Not ever liking to be told what to do, I blatantly ignored the both of them, went out for a late night Korean barbecue feast, came home and watched a World War II drama featuring a small Dutch town getting brutalized by Nazis into the wee hours.

A mistake.

WHOOP knows me better than I know myself, knew I needed that shut eye as “sleep is one of the most important things a person can do to improve recovery, boost the immune system, and make fitness gains.”

The stylish black strap “recommends hours of sleep needed for optimal recovery and tracks sleep stages, disturbances, respiratory rate, and more.”

It takes nightly measurement of when light sleep is engaged, when REM, or “the mentally restorative sleep stage where a body consolidates memory and learning,” is entered, when slow wave sleep, or “the physically restorative sleep stage where a body restores muscular, cellular, and skeletal systems,” is embraced.

A modern miracle but did I listen?

Did I heed?


And I barely woke up for a pre-sunrise surf, drank too much coffee and gave myself a good case of the jitters, forgot my wax, chose the wrong board for very small Great White shark infested Cardiff-by-the-Sea, went left on a right, dropped in on a SUP pilot without care, told a kindly Brazilian to buzz off then felt bad when he sweetly apologized, calling himself a “newb” in the process, came home, wrote this story then rushed off to bark at children for not employing the break-apart strategy in mathematics.

A series of unfortunate decision makings and the day has still just begun.

Performance not peak and tonight I will listen to my personal sleep coach, whose feelings are hopefully unhurt by this poor showing due intransigence.

I will be a better me tomorrow.

DiCaprio (pictured) questioning life's choices.
DiCaprio (pictured) questioning life's choices.

Thailand officially re-opens beach made famous from handsome actor Leonardo DiCaprio witnessing horrific shark attack that forced him to renounce ideals of international backpacking lifestyle!

You little beauty.

If there is one thing I profoundly dislike, in this life and every other, it is the international backpacking community. White rasta pastas who turn the same shade of brown, wear baggy hemp, stay in hostels, sometimes have breed-less dogs with thick leather collars, flaunt woven hemp jewelry, smell like patchouli, harbor vague neo-hippie ideals, etc.

Blights each and every one though almost celebrated in the 2000 film The Beach starring Leonardo DiCaprio.

I went to see in the theatre because I very much enjoy the work of director Danny Boyle but was horrified during the first third when I thought that it was a celebration of that misbegotten lifestyle on a pristine Thai island.

Thankfully, three Scandinavians became attacked by a shark, two dying horrific deaths, shattering the ideals and leading to more death, if I recall.


In any case, the picturesque beach on Phi Phi Leh where the shark attack took place is being officially re-opened to the public, this January, after being shuttered due “severe deterioration caused by tourists.”

Per CNN:

The reopening comes with several caveats. Boats will not be able to enter the bay. Instead, drivers will have to drop passengers off at a pier set at the back of the island away from the famed cove.

Only eight speedboats will be allowed to dock there at a time, and visits will be capped at one hour, with a maximum of 300 tourists allowed per round, from 10 a.m.-4p.m daily.

Very cool.

I, myself, visited Phi Phi Leh and “the beach” in the early 2000s in order to lay a hemp wreath on the grave of international backpacking.

It simply read, “The hostel has closed. Forever.”

Celebrity author of Miki Dora bio David Rensin on the fetishisation of a flawed soul, Dora’s supersonic criminal life and Leo DiCaprio optioning the movie rights to it all, “Was Miki an asshole? At times. Racist? I don’t think so”

Was he or wasn’t he? Nazi bastard or button pusher?

Today’s guest on Dirty Water is celebrity author Davis Rensin, whose book All For a Few Perfect Waves laid out, without exaggeration or censure, the supersonic life of Malibu anti-hero Miki Dora.

Rensin transcribed one million words in the pursuit of the truth, relatively speaking of surfing’s great Voodoo God, a man who was style in the water, suits out of it, convertibles, Hollywood and movie stars.

Dora was also a thief, a scammer and an impossible loner who travelled the world chasing adventure and empty waves, his only real friend a King Charles spaniel called Scooter Boy.

A couple of years back, The New York Times ran a piece called The Long Strange Tale of California’s Surf Nazis which held Dora as the poster-boy for white supremacism in surfing.

Dora often used racial slurs and advised acquaintances to put all their money in gold before Mexicans and blacks poured over the borders and ruined the economy. While serving prison time, Dora (who had been convicted of both check and credit-card fraud) wrote to a friend that he loved American Nazis. Dora eventually relocated to apartheid-era South Africa.

In a 1975 interview with Phil Jarratt, Dora, who acted as a surf double on a couple of Hollywood beach films said, “The Jews come down to the beach, they shoot their movie, sell it to the Kikes and they all make a pile of money.”


Was he or wasn’t he?

Nazi bastard or button pusher?

Let’s ask!

Smith (right) and Rielly (left) Whooping under a hail of comment fire.
Smith (right) and Rielly (left) Whooping under a hail of comment fire.

Surf Journalist boldly ignores three-time world champion’s edict to not paddle “ten-foot-white-shark-infested” Cardiff-by-the-Sea; maintains unbelievably chill heart-rate!

Cool under fire.

Yesterday, the three-time surf champion, jiujitsu master Joel Tudor issued a dire warning for those who might be thinking about surfing, or swimming, southern California’s bucolic Cardiff-by-the-Sea.

“Don’t surf Cardiff,” he began the shock Instagram directive. “It’s infested with ten-foot White sharks that are attracted to soft tops, stand-up paddlers and tourist swimmers. Stay safe and find a lake or go take a hike. This was today at 8:12 am.”

The accompanying photograph featured a chunky Great White jumping skyward.


Happy White.


I just so happen to live in the aforementioned Cardiff-by-the-Sea and Tudor’s cautioning should have alarmed me greatly but I also just so happened to wake up nearly 72% recovered.

For those who don’t know, the greatest personalized digital fitness and health coach, WHOOP, not only measures strain and sleep but also recovery.

But what is recovery?


Recovery reflects how well prepared your body is to take on strain, and is a measure of your body’s ‘return to baseline’ after a stressor. The size of these stressors – which can range from illness, exercise, psychological stress or sleep deprivation – determines how much your body needs to recover.

When your recovery is high, your body is primed to take on strain.

When your recovery is low, you may be at greater risk for injury, or overtraining (during intense workouts).

Recovery is highly personalized to each individual member; this means that two people with the same combination of resting heart rate, heart rate variability, respiratory rate, and sleep performance on a given day could get very different recoveries.

72% is a fine number and my body felt primed to take on the strain of ignoring Joel Tudor.

First, I went on a 2 mile Chariots of Fire beach run, lowering my time significantly.

Next, I jumped in the water to cool off, just where that Great White had breached, tourist swimming.

Last, I paddled out for a small wave surf on a 4’10 Album Seaskate soft top.

The surfing, itself, still didn’t register as an “activity” but my heart rate, equally, did not bump up even one click above average.

Ice-water in my veins due growing up surfing properly Great White infested Oregon?

Years spent cavorting around the al-Qaeda infested Middle East, copping a Hezbollah kidnapping etc. (buy here)?

Or a recovery so fine, and knowable, that I was ready to take on any strain?

Testing fate?


Trusting recovery.

WHOOP, there it is.

UN representatives react to WSL demands.
UN representatives react to WSL demands.

Ultra-powerful World Surf League flexes hard, demands intergovernmental peer United Nations preserve thirty-percent of global oceans in eight years!

If not now, when? And if not us, who?

When the World Surf League speaks, the world listens and the powerful intergovernmental organization raised its voice, days ago, demanding that its peer, the United Nations, preserve thirty-percent of global oceans by 2030. The order came via a compelling video detailing the specific list of stipulations that the United Nations must agree to. Namely, the preservation of thirty-percent of oceans in eight years by, I think, signing a petition.

WSL Chief People & Purpose Officer, Emily Hofer, boldly stated, “We Are One Ocean provides a powerful opportunity for the global community of surfers and ocean lovers to have their voice heard by world leaders. We know that meaningful change can be achieved through igniting passionate communities to speak up on behalf of our one ocean. The WSL is committed to working at both the global and grassroots level to protect and conserve the global ocean and, in particular, investing in youth as stewards of the global ocean.”

Professional surfers Kanoa Igarashi and Lakey Peterson are part of the shock squad and will “expand the conversation by sharing their personal connection to the ocean in an upcoming content series.”

In addition to pushing the UN toward right action, the WSL has teamed up with beauty product line Shiseido to “promote ocean conservation through initiatives such as beach clean ups and sand dune planting to safeguard shorelines.”

It might be a good idea to start sand dune planting in the Canary Islands.

I do trust when WSL CEO Erik Logan (the WSL CP&PO’s direct report) meets with the General Assembly, the full extent of surfing’s pure strength will be laid bare for all to see.