UN representatives react to WSL demands.

Ultra-powerful World Surf League flexes hard, demands intergovernmental peer United Nations preserve thirty-percent of global oceans in eight years!

By Chas Smith

3 years ago

If not now, when? And if not us, who?

When the World Surf League speaks, the world listens and the powerful intergovernmental organization raised its voice, days ago, demanding that its peer, the United Nations, preserve thirty-percent of global oceans by 2030. The order came via a compelling video detailing the specific list of stipulations that the United Nations must agree to. Namely, the preservation of thirty-percent of oceans in eight years by, I think, signing a petition.

WSL Chief People & Purpose Officer, Emily Hofer, boldly stated, “We Are One Ocean provides a powerful opportunity for the global community of surfers and ocean lovers to have their voice heard by world leaders. We know that meaningful change can be achieved through igniting passionate communities to speak up on behalf of our one ocean. The WSL is committed to working at both the global and grassroots level to protect and conserve the global ocean and, in particular, investing in youth as stewards of the global ocean.”

Professional surfers Kanoa Igarashi and Lakey Peterson are part of the shock squad and will “expand the conversation by sharing their personal connection to the ocean in an upcoming content series.”

In addition to pushing the UN toward right action, the WSL has teamed up with beauty product line Shiseido to “promote ocean conservation through initiatives such as beach clean ups and sand dune planting to safeguard shorelines.”

It might be a good idea to start sand dune planting in the Canary Islands.

I do trust when WSL CEO Erik Logan (the WSL CP&PO’s direct report) meets with the General Assembly, the full extent of surfing’s pure strength will be laid bare for all to see.

Ultra-powerful.

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Happy White.

Three-time world surfing champion issues urgent warning to San Diego county surfers after posting video of Great White breaching close to shore: “Don’t surf Cardiff It’s infested with ten-foot White sharks! Numbers have gone crazy”

By Derek Rielly

3 years ago

"I was looking right at it. That ain't Flipper, my man."

Yesterday, the three-time world surfing champion and ultra-purist Joel Tudor issued a warning to surfers via his Instagram account alongside video of what appears to be fat-as-hell Great White breaching in the lineup.

Written in classic tongue-in-cheek Tudor style but not kidding, either.

“Don’t surf Cardiff. It’s infested with ten-foot White sharks that are attracted to soft tops, stand-up paddlers and tourist swimmers. Stay safe and find a lake or go take a hike. This was today at 8:12 am.”

The post opened a floodgate of Great White chatter.

Former tour surfer Shea Lopez wrote, “When these pups grow up it’s gonna be a different story in SoCal waters. They were all over Lowers the past three days.”

“Result of almost thirty years of no local net fishing inshore,” Tudor replied. “Those dudes used to cull the count quite a bit and helped keep the balance. Since they have been gone the numbers are crazy.”

“Same in Florida,” wrote Lopez, “Used to be we were protected by the actions of the fisherman understanding the ecosystem and being in charge of doing not only what is best for them but also the community that they live in as it affects everyone from their children to their grandparents. Now we have been put in harm’s way due to the change in regulations and the elimination of what had been working for as any can remember. And working well. What next. We have to make an effort to stop the inevitable.”

The inevitable, of course, being, mmmmm, Australia, surfers and swimmers dying every other month in hits by Great Whites, like, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here and here. Scientists predict 1800 hits by sharks in Australian over the next forty-five years.

One follower wrote to Tudor, “It is a dolphin! :)” to which he replied,

“I was looking right at it. That ain’t Flipper, my man.”

Good times.

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A post shared by Joel Tudor (@joeljitsu)

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Connellan's thigh, post White.

Australian surfer who lost “three quarters of his thigh” and was told he’d never walk again after horror Great White attack makes triumphant return to waves, “I wanted to be remembered for what I did afterwards.”

By Derek Rielly

3 years ago

Another tear-jerker!

Five years ago, aspiring professional surfer Brett Connellan was hit by a Great White at Bombo Beach, a couple hours south of Sydney.

His pal Joel Trist heard the “terrible scream” and wild splashing of the White but padded over anyway.

“I saw the shark thrashing around at that stage but I couldn’t comprehend at that time what was happening and again, just acting on instinct, I thought, well, what else could it be at that moment? I guess the adrenaline kicked in and I paddled as hard as I could towards him,” Trist recalled. “I said ‘Quick, jump on my board’ and I grabbed him and got him on my board.”

On the beach, an off-duty nurse helped Trist use his leash for a tourniquet, saving Connellan’s life.

Now, Connellan, who is twenty-eight, has made a movie called Pyrophytic about his recovery, phyrophetic referring to plants that have adapted to bushfires, can survive ‘em, thrive from ’em.

Like Connellan has post-shark attack, wandering the ridges, as they say, and coming back a prophet.

The film, which releases next year, follows his ride from coma to you-aint-gonna-walk-again-kiddo to throwing himself over ledges and polishing off enormous tubes.

Trailer here.

It’s a treasure.

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Hamilton (pictured) head in the game.

World’s greatest race car driver Lewis Hamilton wins Sao Paulo Grand Prix after being disqualified from seeding rounds as pundits wonder if British star’s surf obsession is fueling unheralded run!

By Chas Smith

3 years ago

Surfing for the win.

It was reported earlier in the week that the world’s greatest race car diver, Lewis Hamilton, was disqualified from the seeding rounds of the Sao Paulo Grand Prix after his Mercedes land rocket had failed to meet standards.

Hamilton, who hails from Best Britain, was forced to start the race in dead last because his drag reduction system was illegal, the stewards of the race declaring, “Hamilton’s car could not fulfill the requirement of a maximum 85 millimeter measurement.”

Much hand-wringing etc. except not by Sir Lewis who went out and won the dang race anyhow.

Per the just-released BBC report:

It was a gripping conclusion to a weekend of bitterness and rancour between the two teams contesting the championship, and controversy both on and off the track.

The 101st victory of Hamilton’s career sent a powerful message of intent and is a potentially critical moment in the championship.

Had Verstappen held Hamilton off, he would have been able to finish second behind the Mercedes driver at the three remaining races in Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Abu Dhabi and still win the title.

Now, the title race is wide open and the two head to the Middle East with everything to play for.

Max Verstappen, flying Dutchman, also touched Hamilton’s car and received a hefty fine and the Middle East will be exciting, as it always is, though pundits were left to wonder how the diminutive Englishman could be so cool under fire.

Some, here, posited that it is due his surf obsession.

For I was, recently, at Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch there in the cow folds of Lemoore, California, enjoying a bounty of waves when I heard “someone special is coming.”

“Who?” I asked as a true surf journalist.

“Lewis Hamilton,” was the answer and whoa. I very much looked forward to watching him hand drag the roof of that miniature barrel.

The 7x F1 winner is a noted enthusiast of Surf Ranch, spending much time there, and you can see his fast twitch muscle skills here.

Alas, it was not to be. Apparently he could not secure a private jet out of Los Angeles and had to miss his session but when I heard he had been disqualified from Brazilian seeding rounds, I wondered if it was surf’s fault. Head not in game etc. Too much water logging.

When he won, I wondered if it was surf’s perfection. His knowing, in his depths, that all he needs are some tasty waves and a cool buzz.

No Dutchman, however flying, could transcend that amount of chill.

Surfing for the win.

Spicoli approved.

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Cold water surf destination Iceland mocks “Foil King” Mark Zuckerberg’s pivot to the Metaverse in must-watch pasquinade!

By Chas Smith

3 years ago

"Are you human?"

You likely only know of Iceland as home to the fairylike chanteuse Björk and as a very famous cold-water surf destination. The parliamentary republic, floating fairylike itself in the North Atlantic, is backdrop and co-star of two of the greatest surf films of all-time: Joe G’s masterful Strange Rumblings in Shangri-la…

…and Freezing.

But the land of fire and ice is famous for so much more and its tourist board decided to show some of those things in the best send-up I have ever seen.

As you are aware, the world’s fifth richest man, foil king, Mark Zuckerberg recently pivoted his behemoth Facebook into “Meta” and imagined a future where we would, could, all play with Kai Lenny in an all-encompassing digital universe called the “Metaverse.”

Eat beach grit spam!