Hamilton (pictured) head in the game.
Hamilton (pictured) head in the game.

World’s greatest race car driver Lewis Hamilton wins Sao Paulo Grand Prix after being disqualified from seeding rounds as pundits wonder if British star’s surf obsession is fueling unheralded run!

Surfing for the win.

It was reported earlier in the week that the world’s greatest race car diver, Lewis Hamilton, was disqualified from the seeding rounds of the Sao Paulo Grand Prix after his Mercedes land rocket had failed to meet standards.

Hamilton, who hails from Best Britain, was forced to start the race in dead last because his drag reduction system was illegal, the stewards of the race declaring, “Hamilton’s car could not fulfill the requirement of a maximum 85 millimeter measurement.”

Much hand-wringing etc. except not by Sir Lewis who went out and won the dang race anyhow.

Per the just-released BBC report:

It was a gripping conclusion to a weekend of bitterness and rancour between the two teams contesting the championship, and controversy both on and off the track.

The 101st victory of Hamilton’s career sent a powerful message of intent and is a potentially critical moment in the championship.

Had Verstappen held Hamilton off, he would have been able to finish second behind the Mercedes driver at the three remaining races in Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Abu Dhabi and still win the title.

Now, the title race is wide open and the two head to the Middle East with everything to play for.

Max Verstappen, flying Dutchman, also touched Hamilton’s car and received a hefty fine and the Middle East will be exciting, as it always is, though pundits were left to wonder how the diminutive Englishman could be so cool under fire.

Some, here, posited that it is due his surf obsession.

For I was, recently, at Kelly Slater’s Surf Ranch there in the cow folds of Lemoore, California, enjoying a bounty of waves when I heard “someone special is coming.”

“Who?” I asked as a true surf journalist.

“Lewis Hamilton,” was the answer and whoa. I very much looked forward to watching him hand drag the roof of that miniature barrel.

The 7x F1 winner is a noted enthusiast of Surf Ranch, spending much time there, and you can see his fast twitch muscle skills here.

Alas, it was not to be. Apparently he could not secure a private jet out of Los Angeles and had to miss his session but when I heard he had been disqualified from Brazilian seeding rounds, I wondered if it was surf’s fault. Head not in game etc. Too much water logging.

When he won, I wondered if it was surf’s perfection. His knowing, in his depths, that all he needs are some tasty waves and a cool buzz.

No Dutchman, however flying, could transcend that amount of chill.

Surfing for the win.

Spicoli approved.

Cold water surf destination Iceland mocks “Foil King” Mark Zuckerberg’s pivot to the Metaverse in must-watch pasquinade!

"Are you human?"

You likely only know of Iceland as home to the fairylike chanteuse Björk and as a very famous cold-water surf destination. The parliamentary republic, floating fairylike itself in the North Atlantic, is backdrop and co-star of two of the greatest surf films of all-time: Joe G’s masterful Strange Rumblings in Shangri-la…

…and Freezing.

But the land of fire and ice is famous for so much more and its tourist board decided to show some of those things in the best send-up I have ever seen.

As you are aware, the world’s fifth richest man, foil king, Mark Zuckerberg recently pivoted his behemoth Facebook into “Meta” and imagined a future where we would, could, all play with Kai Lenny in an all-encompassing digital universe called the “Metaverse.”

Iceland imagines a different future.

The Icelandverse.


Tear-jerking documentary casts surf as a woman’s only escape from Bangladesh’s brutal patriarchy, “People say girls who go surfing are sluts. There is no plan B. Surfing is everything!”

Weep for the brave surfer girls of Bangladesh.

Bangladesh is the sorta place women’s rights advocate Malala Yousafzai would love to turn on its head and shake by the ankles till all the loose change falls outta its pockets.

Human Rights Watch quoted one Bangladeshi woman as saying, “I sleep in my own deathbed.”

Wives doused with nitric acid, necklace and earrings melting into skin. Murders over dowery disputes. Husbands striking wives over the head with bricks because they don’t get cold water from the refrigerator fast enough during iftar.

A bleak place to be a gal.

But then there are the Surf Girls of Cox’s Bazar.

InSync Media and director Elizabeth D. Costa have created a documentary that shows how surfing has given three girls from Cox’s Bazar, Bangladesh’s main surfing hub, a chance at escaping the brutal black male patriarchy.

Per the presser,

Shobe, Ayesha and Suma break away from the drudgery of their lives by joining a surf club in Cox’s Bazar, Bangladesh. The girls fight family pressure and social judgement, for a few hours on the waves. They gain confidence as their natural skill and prowess gains attention and praise. Soon they are poised to make history as Bangladesh’s first women surfers. The odds are stacked against them but the girls refuse to give up. Balancing the freedom of the waves with the restrictive realities of their circumstances, we experience the thrill and struggle of coming-of-age in a developing country.

It takes a stone cold heart not to be moved, maybe even a little choked up, by the two-minute trailer.

We hear 14-year-old Shobe say, “I don’t dwell on the past. I think about the future. I choose my path. And now I am free.”

(Not the Orange County I-just-dropped-the-kids-off-at-school-and-now- I-can-drink-my-chai-latte-in -peace-free but Bangladeshi free.)

She continues,

“My dream is to go to different countries and participate in surfing competitions and be famous. If my dad sees me on TV when I’m famous then he will come back.”

We hear from Suma, The Provider, who’s been responsible for her families income since she was seven. When she sells eggs on the beach, she stops to watch the surfers.

Her reaction?

“I have no other dream left.”

Ayesha is deemed The Survivor. Her father is abusive and believes all girls who surf are sluts.

Her dream is to be a lifeguard on the beach.

She’s quoted with a sullen face,

“Why is every day such a chore. My mind just escapes to the sea. I mean, surfing is just mixed in my blood.”

Casual beach sex fingered as main culprit in destroying delicate environment of surf-rich Canary Islands: “This cruising is as bad as off-road driving!”

"Sand, Sun, Sea and Sex with Strangers."

Spain’s Canary Islands, floating west of sunny North Africa is on every surfer-worth-her-salt’s “places to go and poke around” list. Razor sharp volcanic reefs, feisty locals, nooks and crannies to explore and maybe get lucky within. The chain also just so happens to be on many sexually-adventurous-tourist-worth-his-chaps, hosting a very large Gay Pride festival etc. but a damning new report has fingered this casual public sex, not surfing, with destroying the environment.

According to CNN, a new paper in the Journal of Environmental Management — “Sand, Sun, Sea and Sex with Strangers, the ‘five S’s. Characterizing ‘cruising’ activity and its environmental impacts on a protected coastal dunefield” — looks for the first time at the environmental impact on the coastal reserve being used as a cruising area.

Researchers inventoried 298 “sex spots” on the beach, over a total area of over two square miles, mainly among “bushy and dense vegetation” and nebkhas — dunes that wad up around vegetation. They studied them during May 2018, a period which included the local Gay Pride festival.

The tourists’ sex, and “cruiser trampling,” impacts “directly” not only on the nebkhas, but also on eight native plant species, three of which are endemic, they found.

As a result of the tourists’ activities, there has been a “complete abandonment” of environmental education in the reserve, according to the study. The reserve was originally created with education as a “primary activity.”
What’s more, Gran Canaria giant lizards — a popular sight in the Canary islands — have “died after eating condoms left behind by pleasure seekers,” wrote Patrick Hesp, one of the report’s authors, in an article for The Conversation.

Hosting up to 14 million visitors a year, Gran Canaria is a gay-friendly tourist destination, with visitors from the US, UK and Germany among the main markets, and while the authors are quick to emphasize that there is “no intention to criticize some of the LGBTI community,” and stressed that it was not just LGBTQ visitors having sex in the dunes, they note that “cruising is openly practiced” on Maspalomas.

At the end, the authors of the paper did not want to call for an end to public sex but noted, “One couple having sex on the beach is one thing; but having hundreds converge on the same area every day damages the dunes as much as off-road driving does.”

Surfing, mercifully, spared any wrath.

The iconic Florida Surf Film Festival back from the dead and ready to party like magically rehabilitated Michael Jackson!

A proper thriller.

Global shutdowns resulting from the Covid-19 pandemic will be studied long into the future. Did they work? Avert millions of untimely deaths or cause the untimely deaths of many businesses, whole industries? Epidemiologists, economists, Kelly Slater will debate and debate but we know the hardest hit, certainly, was the surf film festival festival circuit.

People not gathering to watch their water heroes on big screens together was a damning blow but the strong survived and the strongest may be the now iconic Florida Surf Film Festival.

New Smyrna Beach’s finest product, save Aaron Cormican, has flung the doors wide, once again, and is selling tickets at a record clip.

Per the press release:

New Smyrna Beach, FL – Florida Surf Film Festival (FSFF), presented by Monster Energy, is proud to announce official selections for the feature and short documentary categories for its final installment of the 2021 festival on November 19th and 20th at Atlantic Center for the Arts, in New Smyrna Beach.

Passes are now available:

1. Adults: One-night passes run $25 and a two-night pass runs $35
2. Kids: 10 and under are also available for $15/night and $25/two-nights.
3. A patron pass for $125/person includes a festival poster, 2021 FSFF t-shirt, FSFF 20-ounce YETI Tumbler, dinner both nights from Clancy’s Cantina on-site, two-night festival pass, and four drink tickets per night.
4. We also offer a Green Room Membership, which includes an annual pass to all events for the next twelve months, including all the patron pass benefits.

Click here.

Kevin Miller, co-founder, told me, “Having had sold out events in June for Father’s Day and a great showing in August, we’re ready to pack the outdoor amphitheater with surf movie fans for some hippie flicks and quality docs like the USA Mainland Premiere of Waterman, a documentary about Duke Kahanamoku, and the 50 year anniversary of Morning of the Earth, remastered in 4K. Filmmakers will be here, including Jack Coleman for his masterful joy ride with Joey Bookout entitled Polysun with Joey also in attendance.”

I have attended twice and, if you are Florida-adjacent or Aaron Cormican, it is completely worth but act fast. People truly get turned away at the gate and I have witnessed tears.

A proper thriller.