Has the surf life provided rocket fuel?
Malibu heavy, heir to Miki Dora’s throne, Jonah Hill has been on a rocket ship to superstardom in these the Covid days of our lives. Once a lovable boy famous for playing “non-threatening sidekicks,” Hill has transformed himself, or rather been transformed, into a beacon of body positivity, a leading man, a fashion icon, a voice to heard, a voice to be reckoned with.
Is it a coincidence that the meteoric rise in fame, fortune seems to be tied to his conquering of First Peak?
Well, esoteric questions, as such, are difficult to answer. What is undeniable is the heads Hill and his surf instructor girlfriend Sarah Brady turned, days ago, by showing up at the movie premier of Don’t Look Up twinning in powder blue Gucci suits.
Hill wore his suit without a shirt underneath, revealing his chest tattoo of a ship. The open jacket also revealed an aqua bead necklace reminiscent of an art teacher that offered an almost spiritual touch to the sleazy-chic ensemble. In Hill’s terminology, he looked, well, rad.
In lieu of a shirt, he finished off the suit with three floral pins on the lapel and metallic blue smoking slippers. His slicked-back bleached hair and full beard gave off a groovy rabbi vibe. To take the look to another level, Hill matched with his girlfriend Sarah Brady, who also wore a pale blue suit and the same slippers. The duo looked slick, low-key, and fun. On Instagram, Hill described the look, styled by Ezra Woods, as “glam space twins.”
Tatler called it “surfer dude fashion.”
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Now that he’s risen to the top of the pecking order at First Point, I think he’s ready to paddle out at solid Pipeline and compete for scraps
The Trump piece left out Epstein and that leads to more questions…
You mean a James Bond villain to match up with Epstein?
Good call.
I asked Scaramucci to pick his own and he said “Why Scaramunga of course, but i don’t have three nipples.”
Help me out there. A Bond Villain to match up with Epstein, if that’s who you’re referring to.
I’ll add it.
Thanks.
While I am not a Bond aficionado, a quick google search for “Bond villian pedo” offers a few options. I believe Dr No could be ideal as he has Epsteinesque features but Blofeld from You Only Live Twice merits consideration as he is very pervy. I look forward to your decision and I’ll remain troubled by the three nipples assertion while I debate a growing desire to watch Bond movies.
Already matched Blofeld with Giuliani and they might be the best one and can’t be beat.
The others that are good are Sarah Huckabee-Sanders and Jaws (mean) and Omarosa and May Day.
Scaramanga had three nipples, that was the Scaramucci reference.
I always thought the young Jeffrey Epstein looked like a character from Welcome Back Kotter.
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But then as Epstein got rich he tried to deJew himself and went blonde and probably got plastic surgery and did his best to look young and Goyish.
Epstein and Dr. No? I don’t know.
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Sounds like there is merit around a de jewing article, of course you’ll need mass support from the Jewish community and maybe a preface by Irving Picard of Madoff fame as he recovered billions for wronged Jews and a few of us gentiles…man he Made off with serious fee revenue as Trustee for the Madoff clawbacks!
I was following stories about old Irving and his Madoff clawbacks for a while there, haven’t paid attention recently though. Has he wrapped it all up yet? What did his fee come to in the end?
Last I checked the fees Picard and the fine partners at Baker & Hostetler charged to date were past $1.25 billion. A healthy revenue stream for that white shoe firm! The last distribution I noticed was in September.
Irving could buy a really nice Sprinter and a rack full of soft tops with that money!
Hmmmmm.
Alec Trevelyan from Golden Eye?
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Or Max Zorin from A View to a Kill?
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I’d say Zorin because he’s obviously a bottle blonde like Epstein and could be a self-hating Jew taking his angst out on the world and is way creepier.
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Zorin is ideal as that is one troubled character, with or without cowbells
Zorin it is, thanks for the nudge.
I’ll add that.
And Zorin died, like Epstein, no?
I forget how.
A blimp landed on him, or something.
Barf…Hurl…
Well, by washed up (I don’t give 2 shits about your hyphenation) I mean a “journalist” who is forced to comment and then erase his comments on BG, arguable the bottom of the barrel.
You provincials should pay more attention to things like hyphenation.
From harsh experience,I know that he won’t be completely naked under that jacket.There’ll be a couple of bar towels to absorb the pit sweat,for certain sure.
“I think “washed-up” needs a hyphen. And it’s not washed-up, just writing about other things: Politics, etc,
Big scandal in Malibu right now.
And stuff like this is fun:
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Every dingaling writes about surfing now so why bother?
It’s not all that interesting anymore anyway.
Whole sport got taken over by Brazilians.
Did I ever tell you the story about Fabio Gouveia in the Lisbon airport?
All the Bobs and the cool people cashed out their companies and split.
Where are the cool, funny characters: B____ G_____, B______ L_____, T_____, C_______, R_______ B__________, M______ R_______, M_______ “B______” K_________
I was watching Five Summer Stories with this Italian chick the other day. Most of the surfing was kind of slow and boggy on that single-fin-mentality 70s hardware.
Except for Buttons – he is flying and ripping and looking thoroughly modern.
The people who write about surfing now don’t know the difference between First Peak and First Point.
You did that at SURFER back in the day and you would have been excommunicated.
I mean – really.” – Ben Marcus
“I suppose it’s flattering you feel the need to preserve these posts.” – Ben Marcus
I do my best to make all washed up writers feel good about themselves.
That right Jonah, ‘don’t look up’ when you pop up to your undoubtedly gorgeously pedicured feet. Look down at them. You’ll surf waaaaaaaaay better.
“Yeah look at this bald-headed, four-eyed Chicago geezer who writes “surreal fiction.”
It was written right there on the wall of Coletta’s shaping room, way back when:
“Only the real is unreal.”
That Ben Marcus sucks. The other one rules.
He hangs out with cool surfer chicks like K____ G________” – Ben Marcus
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“Yeah like The Pina Colada Song “I was tired of my lady.”
Oi, that is so 80s.
Hill will survive.” – Ben Marcus
“Won’t delete that one, because it’s true.
Grew up surfing the Santa Cruz Yacht Harbor during the Harbor Bill/Kevin Reed days.
A great wave, man-made, by accident. Too bad they figured out how to dredge it.
Why can we do it by accident but not on purpose?
The Surfrider Foundation and local surfers raised holy hell at the Tweed River Sand Diversion Project but look at what it created – by accident.
I know a guy who works with Shaw Mead and he’s a good dude.
But I think all the artificial reef people have hoodwinked a lot of people from Chevron Reef to Bournemouth to India to New Zealand – promising good waves and tourists dollars from reefs that don’t work.” – Ben Marcus
So you only delete the things you write that are not true?
She is pegging him for sure.
Relentlessly and without lube!
“First Peak? Really? A guy who writes about surfing called it First Peak?
First Peak is Pleasure Point.
First Point is Malibu.
I recently caught a mistake in The New Yorker.
A real-live factual error by the editor, no less.
That’s like getting an email from C_____ S_____ X 1,000,000,000 in relevance.
In his review of The Beatles: Get Back he said “Syria” when he meant “Libya.”
I had made the same mistake the night before while watching that documentary – which is a masterpiece by the way – so I sent an email of correction.
He responded right away, so I abused that kind notion and pitched a bunch of stories.
I said there’s a very good story about HR going public but no surfer would write it because the first rule of HR is: Don’t talk about HR.
B_____ F______ probably wouldn’t touch it. Or J_____ B_____
Unfortunately they already have a writer with my name so I’m probably SOL.” – Ben Marcus
“It’s funny how humans are so great at creating really perfect ocean waves by accident – SuperBank, Santa Cruz Harbor, Murph Bar, Wedge, Sandspit, Newport Jetties, etc etc – but we suck and fail when we try to do it on purpose.
When is someone going to create an artificial ocean reef that is as perfect as Surf Ranch?
A lot of stuff has been dumped into the ocean over the years to no effect.
Zuma Beach could use one. Right out in the middle there.” – Ben Marcus
Just in case you decide to delete all your comments as usual. This way people can still make some sense of the comments.
This story really is a Venn diagram of your life, Chas.
Yeah it’s pretty awesome, I can’t lie.
What have we left? Sharks scares, jonah hill fashion updates, and infinite woop advertisements. A whole contest of consequence just went down in big surf and the entirety of coverage was crowd funded by BG commenters.
He looks like a Padang nightclub owner
Hahahaha!!!
haaaaaaaaaaa
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I AM EXTREMELY UPSET BY THIS PIC AS IT IS INFANTILE AND HORRIBLY INAPROPRIATE!
But only because I didn’t think of it first!
If a Disco era coke dealer and a Smurf fucked this is what their offspring would look like.
Very good, but Smurfs can’t fuck. No genitalia.
Sounds like you’ve checked.
Your didn’t try hard enough