Greatest surfer ever Kelly Slater employs “rock n roll’s Marquis de Sade” who staged mock guillotine executions and used an axe to chop bloodied baby dolls onstage to sing birthday song for older brother’s fiftieth!

"There’s nothing wrong with any sexual perversion, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody, physically hurt anybody," says Alice Cooper.

A three-year-old video of shock-rocker Alice Cooper singing the world’s shortest birthday song to Kelly Slater’s older brother, Sean, has resurfaced. 

It’s a moment, as Sean, four years older than Kelly and also a shredder, points out is a moment worth re-sharing. 

“Happy birthday buddy,” says Cooper before singing, “This is your birthday song, it isn’t very long.”

Kelly who perhaps didn’t hear the lyric appears briefly confused before the joke sinks in.

 

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A post shared by Sean Slater (@captainseanslater)

“Not my birthday this was almost 3 years ago but I liked it,” writes Sean. “Nobody read the post so they think it’s my birthday. Mine is Jan 4.” 

Described by Rolling Stone as the Marquis de Sade of rock n roll, at his peak in the nineteen-seventies Cooper would chop up baby dolls onstage and stage his own execution via guillotine. 

“All death is sexual,” Cooper told Rolling Stone. “And when Alice does something onstage, he has to be punished for it. He always gets killed in the end. Just like the movies… I have sex with mannequins in ‘I Love the Dead.’ As long as sex doesn’t hurt anybody, what’s wrong with it? There’s nothing wrong with any sexual perversion, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody, physically hurt anybody, although on some levels some people like to be hurt sexually.”

In 1998, Cooper, still doing the suicide schtick, this time with a hangman’s noose, almost died when thick piano wire that was keeping him from actually being asphyxiated snapped.

“I pretty much blackd out,” he said. 

Watch!