Rumor: A “full on Covid outbreak” has ripped through the North Shore’s famed Billabong House weeks ahead of Pipeline Masters!


Billabong is as fine a surf brand as there is featuring an iconic lineage, many great products and a professional surf team that might just be the best in the business. Italo Ferreira, Laura Enever, Griffin Colapinto, Alessa Quizon, Ryan Callinan, Jack Freestone, Seth Moniz to name but a few.

It also has a famed house on Oahu’s fabled North Shore where many notable incidents have occurred (buy here), much fun had, serious moments of preparation and fine celebrations too. Unfortunate rumor, from a source planted in that seven miles of miracle, suggests that a “full on covid outbreak” has ripped through the selfsame house just weeks ahead of the Pipe Masters, which just so happens to be presented by Billabong.

There is no word as to who might be sick, quarantine measures etc. but if a full on covid outbreak spreads beyond those chartreuse walls into the rest of the North Shore do you imagine that the Pipe Masters would be clipped?

I imagine so.

The World Surf League has made “an abundance of caution” its new tagline having jettisoned the recently adopted “It Takes a Day to Make a Title.”


John John Florence casts his all-powerful shadow over Pipeline. | Photo: WSL

Two-time world surfing champ John John Florence wins fifth Pipeline crown as little brother Ivan steals show with perfect ten-point ride and podium finish!

Flo-bros dominate The Pipe!

Earlier today, John John Florence took his iron hard-on and blew the achey pressure in his balls into his fifth Pipeline crown.

The almost thirty-year-old two-time world champion with the impervious reputation adds the HIC Pipe Pro to last year’s Billabong Pipe Masters, and his three Volcom Pipe Pros, 2012, 2013 and 2015.

Florence took the last-minute win against fellow Hawaiian Barron Mamiya, little bro Ivan and Kainehe Hunt.

It was Ivan, twenty-five, who stunned the world, however, with a ten-point ride in the quarters.

If anyone’s surprised that Ivan, who is twenty-five and who looks like a roughed up Mason Ho, can shred, they shouldn’t be.

As middle-bro Nathan told BeachGrit a few years back, “Ivan has the sickest style. His style is way sicker me or John’s. He’s so smooth, like, Tom Curren.”

Real shame this happy lil house is gonna be bulldozed.

Dilapidated beach shack in down-at-heel Gold Coast suburb known as “meth alley” sells for almost five-and-a-half million dollars!

The last of the great bullish sales!

A decrepit beach shack in a Gold Coast beach suburb famous for its distinctive rows of run-down houses made in the nineteen-fifties, curtains drawn even in the middle of a bright winter day, fronts for the hydroponic and meth units deftly hidden inside, has sold for $A5.4 million.

The original three-bedder at 233 Jefferson Lane, made from the fibro cement sheeting popular in that post-war period, occupies four-thousand square feet of absolute beachfront land and sits amid various trophy homes and apartment towers, including Kelly Slater’s joint a few hundred yards down the road at Joy on Jefferson. 

The real estate sell was compelling,

“Is it your time to make a statement on the beachfront landscape with a luxury masterpiece, where you can create everlasting memories for your loved ones? Would you like to feel the sand between your toes daily and rinse off with a therapeutic salt water cleanse after your morning beach walk?”

The joint harks back to a much simpler time of surf and TV.

On a recent forum where readers were invited to detail what suburbs to avoid on the Gold Coast, Palm Beach was regularly noted.

Full of deadbeat bogans people who dont work and live on the dole and think its cool. Not all of them of course but alot of people around those areas are

Palmy, druggies.

All I can say is avoid Palm Beach. Full of druggies and bogans and has a very high crime rate. Last time I was down there, there was a chap on his balcony with guns to two people’s heads screaming and yelling. The SERT team came out and ushered us all into random people’s garages and stormed the unit complex. From what I heard afterwards the ended up shooting the dude from the road. It was like something off TV! Time before that the local video shop was broken into. It’s getting worse.

Really beautiful beach though 🙂

The sale was, likely, one of the last bullish hits of the great Australian real estate bubble (six months back a block of Palm Beach land, not beachfront that had sold for $1.4 mill in March, went for $2.4 mill in June) which is screeching to a halt under a combo of expected interest rate rises and an oversupply of vendors wanting to cash in their joints for outrageous sums.

Decades after popularizing removable fin systems, champion surfer Kelly Slater concludes they are great environmental evil; launches new “green” removable fin system!

We live in the futures.

Surfing can, in many ways, be broken up into B.K. and A.K. Before Kelly and Anno Kelly. B.K., everyone had glass on fins and purchased paper surf magazines. A.K. everyone rides removable fin systems and has paper surf-adjacent catalogs junk mailed to their homes.

And where would we be if Slater had not popularized FCS? In a world of hurt is where but, decades later, it has been revealed that removable fins are actually bad for the environment and end up littering reefs etc. The 11-time surfing world champion, never missing an opportunity to wash the world a new, glorious shade of green, has taken it upon himself to launch a more eco-friendly alternative to those fin systems currently on the market.

Introducing Endorfins.

Per the press release:

Kelly has always had a deep relationship and passion for fins being that they are a critical component of board design and performance. We wanted to bring this to life by launching a fin brand driven by Kelly’s vision of performance and eco responsibility. We believe as surfers we have a responsibility to make fins as eco-friendly as possible and ensure we keep our ocean floor free from “Lost and Broken fins.”

The design of these fins are the culmination of Kelly’s many years and extensive experience with a variety of designs and templates. This unique flex pattern is created by a carbon twill, layered with an ultralight carbon veil over a P.E.T core. The P.E.T core is 90% air resulting in Fins so light they float on water. Combining that knowledge, and several rounds of testing and adjusting over the past year and a half, we are excited to present Endorfins to the world.

The fins work in either FCS or Futures boxes and will float out to the great plastic garbage island in the sea instead of getting buried with sand.


"Lemme heal you."
"Lemme heal you."

In wild twist no surfer saw coming, generally misanthropic sharks possess protein that acts as antibody to dreaded Covid virus!

A paradigm shift.

What a time, no? Filled with so much upside down oddity, so much counter-intuitive strange. Who could have ever thought that pumping tons and tons of free money into an economy makes the price of goods go up? Who would have ever dreamed that shark, generally misanthropic, hold the secret to curing mankind of its current dreaded ailment?

Not surfers, certainly, but a new study just released in the scientific journal Nature Communications makes it entirely clear that sharks, broadly man-eating, have proteins that act as antibody to Covid-19 and its variations.

Care to sample?

Single-domain Variable New Antigen Receptors (VNARs) from the immune system of sharks are the smallest naturally occurring binding domains found in nature. Possessing flexible paratopes that can recognize protein motifs inaccessible to classical antibodies, VNARs have yet to be exploited for the development of SARS-CoV-2 therapeutics. Here, we detail the identification of a series of VNARs from a VNAR phage display library screened against the SARS-CoV-2 receptor binding domain (RBD). The ability of the VNARs to neutralize pseudotype and authentic live SARS-CoV-2 virus rivalled or exceeded that of full-length immunoglobulins and other single-domain antibodies. Crystallographic analysis of two VNARs found that they recognized separate epitopes on the RBD and had distinctly different mechanisms of virus neutralization unique to VNARs. Structural and biochemical data suggest that VNARs would be effective therapeutic agents against emerging SARS-CoV-2 mutants, including the Delta variant, and coronaviruses across multiple phylogenetic lineages. This study highlights the utility of VNARs as effective therapeutics against coronaviruses and may serve as a critical milestone for nearing a paradigm shift of the greater biologic landscape.

I am almost loathe to share the wonderful news, as sharks have long been a natural deterrent to the VAL invasion but maybe no longer.

Maybe many soft toppers will head out to the lineup hoping to catch a little nibble along with the other great passion of clogging the inside.

The shark proteins have not been tested on humans yet but will be soon and I think surfers, for all the frontline work done amongst the toothy beasts, should be first in line.