"Words cannot describe..."
Oh but to be tan, rested, ready, 50 years-old with 11 World Titles under a purple belt plus, days ago, a Gerry Lopez surfboard emblazoned with the words Billabong Pro Pipeline tucked right in there too.
Oh but to be Kelly Slater.
Shock, awe and amazement are still settling around the surf world after Slater’s inspiring, inspired, win over Seth Moniz in wind friffled but still deadliest Banzai. Professional surf fans, sometimes lightly dubious about the Greatest Of All Time’s green bonafides and/or crypto positions, have circled the wagons lashing out at anyone, everyone, who dare shoot flimsy criticism his way.
He is iconic.
He is singular.
And the most famous people in the regular world are, likewise, sharing messages of passionate emoji regarding Slater’s universe-defying performance.
Chris Hemsworth, who plays Thor, wrote, “Congrats Kelly Slater, greatest of all time, what an inspiration…” adding triple shakas for emphasis.
Renowned international DJ Paul Fisher added, “Amazing” with a blaze of fire as accoutrement.
Soccerboy_ir penned, “You are a special person, please see my new post. It is very spectacular and amazing because I made a move that no one has been able to do before and I am very happy that a famous person like you will watch my post,” though that missive may have been directed at Thor and not Kelly Slater.
Former United States Representative from the Democratic Party Tulsi Gabbard issued, perhaps, the most heartfelt post, writing, “Congrats, my friend. Words can’t describe how special and historic this day has been. I’m beyond happy for you.”
Not a dry eye in the house.
I have to think that Slater’s golfing pal, and ex-President of the United States, Barack Obama wrote something too but I can’t find it.
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I’ve lived in the States for a couple of years and enjoy the freedoms and diversity of your great land…for the most part you are well educated albeit in american history american geography american politics etc etc…you put your collective noses everywhere and expect evey country to bow ro you…it’s disrespective and you haven’t won a war since maybe liberating Germany!…I fucking love Seppos and hate politics !….you win I lose and I’m fine with it.
If by chance you want my slanted jaded pesso view of world affairs….after the winter Olympics China will invade Taiwan..Russia will invade Ukraine simultaneously and USA will be exposed…it’s pretty hard to be in two places at the same time!…but enjoy your civil war and I suggest maybe snowboarding Japan or book your ticket out of Disneyland and get after the good times whilst they exist.
Oops! I thought this was about surfing…
Anyone who could put up with my” bad jokes on ” Live Chat” and throw a few back..a good guy in my book!By the way” Kelly’s never late Anywhere.
Dumb fuckers should have called the planet Water and not Earth but were afraid it might sound a bit fishy ?
Sanctuary…
Watch Logan’s Run
Congrats Kelly!
Now go and get vaxxed!!
THIS is why there must be a BG tent!
Thank Heavens the waves are free to all of us, (except at the surf Ranch), and we can go surf and wash all this other crud from our minds and spirits.
‘Thank God for a few free waves’.
Faark me…one day after the contests and shit slides back to politics and pandering…go girls
Steve Irwin congratulating Kelly from the grave. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Dane did you go to Pier Ave junior high?
If Kelly hadn’t stuck around the last 10 years the WSL kids wouldn’t know what the hell real surfing even was. They would just be racing to the next section to do a ballerina flip. He is unique in that he was a part of the old school and still figured out the new school gymnastic surfing.
Barry Soteoro uses a ghost writer. Unless he’s got one currently on hire, don’t expect much.
Ghost writer would not have taken so long to write his last book, nice try though.
You would think not, but when a man who has accomplished so little writes three autobiographies, its hard to fill up the pages.
Quite the accomplishment.
But, “surfing means more to me than anything in the world.”
He has a child, a daughter I believe.
He would be having serious regrets about that.
The chase for his own satisfaction is winding down.( the gut is a big clue)
You start asking yourself if you did enough.
Baron Harkonnen ?
I think Oscar Wilde had seen in a prophetic dream Mr Slater’s current predicament when he coined “ The Picture of Dorian Gray “ ……. only a twist of fate left Slater and not Shane Dorian standing before the portrait ?
Righteous! A simple twist of slate.
Though my judgey likely comes from not amounting to or aspiring to amount to much of anything except being a good dad.
Passing on DNA is simple …..trying to be a good dad is Sisyphean .
You win, while i agree with him on the vid, I am sad for his future. 30 years from now, only his family will be around, and no one will care about that 40 years he spent as a star. Especially not him. Being a great dad is way more important, and will never go away.
Congrats you whacked out self centered jackass. How’s that ?
“When I say who is the master, you say-“
“Sho’nuff!”
Kelly is the Shogun of Lemoore, all must bow before him!
Well, well, well, and you guys thought you had it bad, we probably won’t see the end of this for quite awhile, and every time I see a pro surfing blog I kinda cringe, now they’re probably gonna be everywhere.
Sad days ahead me thinks.
We should run away together to Gabo Island and bodysurf nude with none of the materialistic items in the world to bother us, forever yours,
Dogsnuts xox
Don’t forget the baby oil and Twister ….. just to break the water .
On a serious note, I believe BG should have a tent at Lowers with DJ Dane’s sushi&sauza on the turntables, Megatron handing out badges and other characters to create the perfect vibe.
Why put up a tent when you can build a TEMPLE !
I’ll donate to the expense of the temple at Lowers
I am thinking train station meets shrine along the lines of the Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus …… in Mumbai …….formerly known as the Victoria Terminus in Bombay …… or something to celebrate Archangel Gabriel’s win last year …… St Andrews , perhaps , to piss off golfers and to dedicate his success to his wonderful coach , Cronulla’s Andy King !
Empathy ! Like truth should be the cornerstone of all morality