Poetry.
Last evening, not long after Kelly Slater’s tears had dried, I sat perched in front of the television watching Olympic women’s Slopestyle snowboarding. My wife, an ex-professional snowboarder who now represents some of the finest skate/snow talent in the world, had a gem in the finals. New Zealand’s Zoi Sadowski-Synnott.
Zoi properly rips. She is stylish, brave and had a real shot to win her country’s first-ever winter Olympic gold medal draped in iconic all black.
Her first run was decent, her second a fall, her third an absolute hammer, bigger, dizzier, better than any that ever preceded.
A glimpse into the future.
A masterclass.
Olympic gold, first gold and completely deserved but her father, watching the magic at home in New Zealand, was also delivering a masterclass to all the overindulgent surf parents in “how to conduct a post-victory interview.”
The sorts of overindulgent surf parents who drive Sprinter vans and shout at volunteer beach marshals.
Sean Synnott, tan, rested and ready, stepped up to the microphone whiskey prepped and let soar a steady stream of expletives live on broadcast television out of straight, unadulterated, unfiltered pride.
A perfect 10?
Viva Negatron.
Viva New Zealand.
Lord of the Rings!
If the WSL bothered to interview the Wright or Robinson family after their wins maybe they could obtain some of this gold.
I hate being called out!
Kelly shine so bright
A star alight
In the evening sky
Ham on rye
Grilled cheese to those
Who said he was finished, done
And now that he’s won
Call him the greatest
Bow your heads in shame you disbelievers
May your cocks hang limp;
Dead shrimp in days to come.
So wish I was a Kiwi!
I’m struggling as I go to ft.com for perfect syntax and editing. I come to BG for the inane, the less perfect, THE CHAS!
Still haven’t achieved Ninety minutes from New York to Paris
that left bank gets mental.
Nearby gems.
Hopefully she can escape China without a visit to the Covid Gulags.
He said Fuck twice. Hardly a stream, more like a dribble if you don’t shake it properly. Less hyperbole, cunts.
“Well, the toilet blocked up this morning.” Viva Negatron.
Fuck yeah to the Kiwi cuzzies. Good people, sick run.
Idutt* her old boy is a total fucken legend.
NZ and Ciao got a fair bit in common eh? Receding hairline and punching way above their weight. Chur
scotch is pretty versatile.
Gotta love those Kiwis. For a nation with only 5 million they always bring home lots of medals.
I heard that maybe by October those silly cunts might finally open up their borders for us to travel there.
I gotta see what Sun Bear Seth Kelly’s been up to.
I just saw that the govt are now aiming for July, but you’ll have to do a (yet to be specified) period of self-isolation on arrival.
Only double plus jabbed people though most probably so unfortunately Kelly won’t be able to play at his billionaire buddies Northland links course anytime soon…
there is a wave below there…
I’ve surfed that whole stretch heaps for 40 years
Banks galore on its day
Though those fuckers building their golf course and houses after cutting down the forest will be having more effect before we know it.
And sand mining has already been affecting things for ages.
There used to be a big sand hill that’s still slipping into the sea.
Pack of dicks
yeah. sorry bro. progress is rarely. golf course so few people play.
I bring lots of beer. You take me to the big west coast righthander. Deal?
@beefnbeer:disqus is a cheap date… VB.
Make it lots and lots and lots, then.
The working man’s beer, also popular amongst the ‘work averse’.
More bang for ya buck…
But with the rising prices I’m tempted to start brewing.
(wouldn’t mind an oil well instead of a spring though, bloody petrol will put us in the poor house before we know it)
The place where Kelly plays golf is East coast, though not far across to the other side…
I know. KC, yes? Just figured you’d be a good guide, and I really want to explore south of the west coast dunes.
Kelly’s mates course is just south of Mangawhai
Kauri Cliffs is north of Kerikeri
Yeah I know where you want to explore, a fair bit of walking involved, have only been a handful of times but pumps on its day
Cliffs were 1800. a night. I decided to splurge one night, found the price remarkable and rented a home up the coast for a week instead.
And go Finn Bilous! (Men’s Ski Big Air.) His dad, Pete, is a good bloke, and might just do a worthy interview too.
What a fucking legend!
Yes, that was beautiful. Zoi must be proud of her dad, like he is of her.
JP and Sean.
Whisky dents and Whiskey gents.