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Question: Will world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater’s hyper-competitiveness, quest for a 12th title, overwhelm his very public vaccine hesitancy?

Some rumored evidence.

The world’s greatest surfer, and recently crowned Pipeline Pro, Kelly Slater turned 50 years old today, or yesterday, and what a story he is early on in this 2022 World Surf League Championship Tour season. Slaying opponents at the globe’s “most dangerous wave,” appearing tan, rested and ready for the long run.

He is number one in the rankings, heading into the Hurley Pro Sunset Beach, with the Australian leg to follow.

Slater (second from right) in very cute personalized goat gear on his birthday. Photo: kalanimiller instagram
Slater (Second From Right) In Very Cute Personalized Goat Gear On His Birthday. Photo: Kalanimiller Instagram

Now, students of the game will certainly be aware that the land down under cares not for pedigree, for athletic excellence, in the face of a waning Coronavirus pandemic having recently shamed tennis star Novak Djokovic out of Melbourne for his refusal to “take the jab” but will Slater’s noted ultra-competitiveness, his quest for title number 12, overwhelm his own very public vaccine hesitancy?

I received a rumor, yesterday, from a fine source who triple vetted his own sources, that Slater has allegedly already been vaccinated and may be ready to push through Australia’s green and gold gates with no fuss at all.

Unbelievable?

Adjacent, though, looking at the facts, Slater’s main issue is vaccine mandates, not necessarily the vaccine itself, therefore it would not be hypocritical for him to self-select pharmaceutical intervention.

But what do you think? Does this hot piece of rumor stand to your sniffer?

We will all soon find out, I suppose, in a few short 87,600 minutes.

Exciting.

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Durban Poison
Durban Poison

You fucking flea brain

Durban Poison

Read before you jump

Pauly Matt War-Shore

This article hasn’t done anything to sway my low opinion of bald people.

Durban Poison

In the immortal words of King Kelly “If you’re vaccinated why are you concerned/worried about anyone else’s status… unless, of course, it doesn’t protect you?”. So no doubt he’s as anti-vac as he is anti-mandate Chaz. Not to mention a peddler of misinformation informed by discredited crackpots. He’s also clearly a GOAT/CUNT who somehow doesn’t get that being vaccinated isn’t just about protecting oneself but also about stopping other people from getting sick or even dying.

Sellme fitzgobbins

All in personalised Slater PPE gear, I,d say thats a good indication things are changing !
Dont think getting a vax will help him at Sunset but if he gets into Aus leg watch out!

Uneducated

I got vaccinated for something in kenya few years ago…I think it might have been yellow fever

I walked in to the doctor and she said there is a 5000ks fee…which is mandatory
I give you your vax certificate

The actual jab is optional

I bet Kelly ‘got his’ jab…in similar circumstances

Uneducated

I dont know if anyone noticed…but I retired from competitive commenting here many months ago…I felt my best days were long since past

I turned 50 the other day

What can I say…Kelly inspired me

bob

“Slater (second from right)” like spray-on skin on a fresh reef cut.

Pauly Matt War-Shore

Shaun White is a putz, and should fuck off to high heaven

Gino

Sky News thinks he’s coming.

Capt Sensible

Goaterest classic

Jordy's pout

…though, looking at the facts, Slater’s main issue is vaccine mandates

Kelly: Adheres to a vaccine mandate.

Matt Warshaw

You did the actual math on the minutes.

Capt Sensible

Im claiming the name
“Goatdaddy”

Ricky Spanish

In his great tradition of psychological warfare on his opponents, Kelly attempted to weaponize vaccine hesitancy as a way to get his fellow competitors to avoid the jab and get themselves barred from countries/competitions all while being vaccinated himself. Crazy? Or crazy like a 50 year old fox?

SlickSaintNik

Agree!! He’s totally vaxxed and just gonna show up in Oz if he thinks he can make it 12

Waterproof Polo

Popcorn thread trigger warning. Do Novak and Kelly speak? Both staunchly against it, then when legacy is in play, spike up in the same week.

Sidebar- That pic looks the birth of some kind of very fit, tanned and vaguely Asiatic cult.

Jordy's pout

That picture is the “smoking gun” evidence that Kelly isn’t racist.

Audit In Progress

The only thing that can out-ego Kelly’s ego is Kelly’s ego.

Jordy's pout

Matt George: “Hold my beer”

Gourmet Kook

Eat me. – * 🐐………………………………………………………

Gourmet Kook

Thank YouDisqus – be there!


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