Meanwhile, Italo Ferreira struggles to stay in world title contention…
Joe Turpel and Mitchell Salazar kicked us off today, each man resplendent in the statutory Hawaiian shirt uniform of the WSL announcer.
Turpel, muted pastels and grey; Salazar, a more robust orange pattern on black background.
Joe turned to Mitchell for introductions.
“Joe Turpel, here with Mitchell Salazar, a man who competed here at the QS level…a few years back.”
The pause was critical.
The pause seemed to look Salazar up and down.
Deliberate or otherwise, it was a wonderful start to the day.
The waves, however, were less than wonderful.
Onshore throughout the day. Never to the stage that they were unsurfable, but relentlessly sectiony and distinctly unpretty.
The quality of the waves was not helped by continual comparisons to J-Bay. In classic WSL Emperor’s New Clothes tradition, they followed the script they had hoped to deliver, not the one we could see.
But the day was not lost, and not without moments of entertainment. More so for me because this comp runs at sociable hours and I’m better able to respond in a timely and lucid fashion.
Not so for the BeachGrit principals, it would seem, who couldn’t even manage to get a live comment post up.
(Editor’s note: A little comms static ‘tween DR and Chas. Stream saved in the back end by DR, instructions sent to Chas to kick live if contest runs, Chas in Germany, good times intervened etc.)
The message was clear: European (or Central American) Gritters be dammed.
One might imagine the mood in El Salvador as low today.
The jewel in the crown of their self-proclaimed “Surf City” failed to shine for the first WCT event in Central America, and Bitcoin continued to plummet to lows not seen for a year or more.
This is the country, if you recall, that made Bitcoin legal tender, and whose government, led by president Nayib Bukele, have gone all in on the digital asset, purchasing 2301 Bitcoins for a cost of around $105 million.
Today, that stash is worth around $51 million.
(I wonder how Mr Diamond Hands is feeling?)
It’s a bold strategy to throw your country’s wealth into such a volatile asset, especially when you’re already in debt.
But what else to do when your back’s against the wall? You might as well gamble.
Far be it from me to criticise.
Buy the dip, boys. Buy the dip.
Safer bets, however, would have been made on professional surfing today, and it’s not often you can say that.
Gabriel Medina, Filipe Toledo and Jack Robinson seem unflappable right now. Victories over lower seeds seem assured in any conditions they’re forced to go in.
Ethan Ewing is close behind.
He never advanced through his heat today, narrowly losing to Yago Dora’s tail-high rotation, the only truly spectacular moment of the day.
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But I was sure that in these conditions he would struggle. I still see Ewing as a surfer who needs good waves to perform, but maybe that’s just a hangover from previous failures at this level. I’m not quite ready to bet the house on him, but his immaculate style and flow was evident even in today’s junky surf, and I noted the improvement.
There is no consistency nor improvement for poor Italo, who can’t seem to buy a win right now.
Would you believe me if I told you that Italo’s only had four scores above an 8.0 all season?
Don’t believe me? Believe Joe Turpel. That’s who said it.
I haven’t fact-checked it (why would I need to, Joe don’t lie) but it’s more than a little surprising. Shocking, even.
Think of how many waves Italo catches. We’re six events deep. Just four scores over 8?
On more than one occasion this season I’ve thought Italo to be judged harshly.
By whom?
Pritamo Ahrendt…a vengeful god…I’m not sure. All I know is that he’s on someone’s bad side.
Caio Ibelli, however, seems to have fallen back into favour now that he’s wound his neck in, ditched the white wettie, and diligently performed his prayers at bedtime. He advanced through to the round of 16 at the expense of Griffin and Jake Marshall. Not entirely surprising given the conditions, I suppose, but I had expected (more than hoped) that Colapinto would be juiced up on Haribos and smash him.
I’m not sure I can stomach any more of Caio Ibelli’s unspectacularly moderate success this season.
At the opposite end of the scale was Medina, who looked underscored yet still unbeatable. The acceleration he gets from his bottom turns is perplexing. He seems to find speed in dead sections of the wave where there should be none.
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I know he’s only been back two minutes, but if Medina appeared at my front door as Vecna from Stranger Things I’d happily let him eat my brain and snap my limbs.
Onto elimination we go.
Let’s hope the wind swings tomorrow, along with my fortunes.
Unfortunately for this writer, Brisa Hennesy’s hoof injury wiped out nearly half of my initial stakes for this competition.
Eat me, Gabriel. Eat me.
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From his post heat interviews Gabe looks like he’s on the same Med’s (pardon the pun) as the late AI.
Yogurt’s twiddly-dee-doo jump, was too relaxed to be described as a ‘slam’. It was all scoopy lollygagging and casual. It’s a hill I’m prepared to die on.
Yep, agree. I honestly wonder if they actually thought through the ramifications on the backmarkers rather than just the top guys. The race to requalify adds excitment. Same in the English Premier League, for example. The relegation battle becomes as enthralling as the title chase and you can feel the desperation of the players and teams fighting for survival.
The irony is that those back end battles would make compelling Make or Break TV. But now? Ho hum, so and so dipped 2nd round, 3rd round…whatever
Cannot focus on yagos air, seen the clip many times but my eyes always slide towards jordys bodyboarding death drop tail slide just down the line. Perfect timing and execution. Progressive riding. Radical yet understated.
Yep Medina generates amazing speed, carves hard and fly’s high but his poo stance means he has what we appropriately call a kak (i.e. shit) style in South Africa. And that deserves minus points on each of his waves vs plus points for masters of the art like Florence and Ewing. Because surfing should still be beautiful to watch despite the new thrill and skill of flying.
However, Florence and Ewing should have points deducted for predictably and repetitiom, yet they don’t.
Ewing gets extra points for his amazing glutes.
What about Passed Eels?
Why oh why is PT on the set?
Once went to El Salvador. Now wheeled in on the government’s (virtual) dime because they want to recreate HB there.
Krui Sumatra Indonesia
To be fair Punta Roca is twice as good as that wave… But yes in this day and age they should be chasing the swell to the best location.
where?
Brisa looks more and more like a sumo wrestler.
What about pustules?
This event has all the hallmarks of a QS
There’s nothing worse than those cunts harping on about past mistakes and rubbing your nose in it. So I’m gonna be a cunt.
The whole “cut” thing has reduced these events to barely worth a shoulder shrug. Oooooh my man O’Leary’s in the Elimination Heat? How will that affect his requalification fight? Ummm, it won’t, coz he’s already qualified for 2023 after 5 events of 2022.
Slater’s not here? Don’t matter, he’s already good to go for 2023. By May of 2022.
Top 5 surf off be damned. Excitement and anticipation levels are at drinking someone else’s beer dregs levels.
Heineken in a keg!
Mid-year cut does seem lame. They really need to do an off-season cut: of like 16-24 of these dudes who won’t ever sniff a podium.
8-16 is plenty of surfers for 1-2 day contests held at perhaps 8-10 pre-specified locations that can be “strike-missioned” to when the forecast says, “go there now, guys.” Fuck, if certifiable geniuses like Koa Rothman can find themselves wherever needed at the drop of the hat, a more light and nimble WSL ought to figure out how to do it and stop with all the fucking excuses as to why not. 8-16 surfers, a professional looking live feed without all the stupid bells and whistles making it look like an NBA pregame set, a roost for 5 judges…let’s go! No athletes area, no planting of single straws of dune grass, no segments like the “laydays here are filled with wine tasting (Margs)” and the same tropes they say about the same stops every year. Cut it all. And send the 8-16 best out over one or two days in waves like Beefy has depicted above.
Bingo. Got my vote. Only thing that needs changing beyond is the fucking judging
It really is awful
It is. If I couldn’t watch a contest coz of time or whatever, I used to go straight to the results and squirm in my seat to see how some of the lower guys got on like Connor O’Leary, my Cronulla boy. But now, I don’t even check the rounds. I just look at who’s in the QF or wherever we are and can guess so and so dipped. It doesn’t matter what round, coz it means fuck all for ratings or requalification.
When you remove the stakes, you remove all care factor.
Amen
Gospel
Dookie 💩 🌊
Dungdribblers
Dirkdarts
Fuck u Gabriel you make WSL look as it is you fucking legend
Excellent googling!!
plague-free eggs…dry-oven cane field’s sugar…powdered?
Poppy flowers, blooming good!
Its a matcha.
just sent you a cactus flower/
What about pastilles?
Pritamo is a slightly above average surfer, who has milked this thing for all it’s worth. Can’t hate him. The retards who let him dictate scores are to blame. He’s a terrible judge,though.
:44 of the video, Jordy, heh!
Big guy, little wave, over the falls for you!
Safe for next year. What a fucken joke this new format is.
Injury time for everyone!!
Could be quite a few nasty hoof and calf strains ahead of Brazil.
20/20
When does Tom Curren surf?
About half-past free scrubber.