Pretty ain't she.

World’s most decorated surfer Kelly Slater lists stately 5 bedroom beachfront North Shore manor on rental marketplace for bargain basement $46k per month!

Like like a king.

Kelly Slater, the world’s most decorated surfer, has officially listed his Oahu manor for rent. Perched on the surf-rich North Shore just a stone’s throw from Laniakea, a short drive from Haleiwa, the 5 bedroom/6 bath beachfront estate, spanning 6700 square feet, also features a swimming pool, air-conditioning, hardwood flooring, decks, a patio and garage for which to park an SUV or pick-up truck on large tires.

The beachfront portion, it should be noted, is also protected by burritos.

Slater purchased the home in 2017 with Architectural Digest swooning, “(It) is infused with Asian and Hawaiian design elements, made especially apparent by the serene boardwalk over an outdoor pond with a Buddha statue sitting in the midst of tropical plant life.”

Now, how much do you think this legacy property goes for per month.




Act today and all can be yours for $46,000.

Bargain basement.

Imagine the stories whispered from the walls or places walls should be (due an open-ish floor plan).

Imagine resting your head, each night, where greatness occasionally does.

Examine Slater’s interior decorating touches below. Follow your heart and rent here.



Slater’s home, this his second on the North Shore does not have burritos nor a statue of Buddha.

Owen with his two-time world champ sis Tyler. He got stiffed for eight hundred gees, Tyler almost six.

Surf Olympian Owen Wright says says theft of almost one-million dollars of his personal fortune by glamorous blonde bookkeeper forced him to risk early-onset dementia by competing and destroyed relationship with his parents, “(It’s) still damaged because of the anger issues I had around this”

"The physical risk I‘ve taken on to keep surfing was a choice I made because I was not financially in the position to stop my career.”

The surf Olympian Owen Wright has told a courtroom the theft of almost one million bucks of his personal stash by a family friend employed as the fam’s bookkeeper led to his estrangement from Ma and Pa Wright as well as friction with his siblings and his pop star wife. 

In a victim impact statement read to court prior to the sentencing of horse racing aficionado and poker machine enthusiast Shane Maree Hatton, who copped five years at the top with a three-year non-parole period, Owen said he accused family members of stealing and even told his wife, accomplished songstress Kita Alexander, to lay off the spending. 

Owen said he was “emotionally worn down”, couldn’t sleep, was perpetually pissed off and anxious. Accusing his parents of ripping him off had lasting ramifications. 

“My relationships…are still damaged because of the anger issues I had around this,” he said.

And, because of the theft, he couldn’t get out of the pro surfing game despite his catastrophic 2015 brain injury.

“I wanted to retire but I couldn‘t financially (due to the impact of the offending) and fought back into my career risking my life in the process… I was still being stolen from while I could barely walk and while the doctors were saying I would never work again in my career. The physical risk I‘ve taken on to keep surfing was a choice I made because I was not financially in the position to stop my career.”

Owen told the court he’d been saving for a family home and trying to set up a retirement fund, two enterprises stymied by the theft, although regular BeachGrit readers will remember the $5.1 million beach shack O bought in Byron Bay three years ago, which he later developed into four luxury villas, selling one for $6.5 mill, another of which he kept, the $1.6 million house at Lennox Head with its indoor swimming pool that meandered through the living room,  the Federation-style house in Byron Bay (sold for a little under a million), the beachfront townhouse at Thirroul (675,000) and the gorgeous mountain-top hideaway (bought for 750k, sold for a million).

Everyone’s version of a happy retirement is different, I think.

Owen’s ma, Fiona, said she felt “somehow responsible” for the theft ‘cause she recommended Hatton to run the books. 

“Her stealing from us was a heartbreaking despicable act,” she said.

Davey Prodan. Photo: WSL/Cestari

Milquetoast Strategy and Brand Officer for World Surf League Dave Prodan punctures organisations wall of positive noise edict with blistering tweet, “Treasonous, spineless shit stain of a human being…That’s your legacy you racist, bigoted, craven asshole”

Dave goes nuke!

If you knew Dave like I know Dave you’d be enchanted by his big eyes, delicate hands, never dirty, and silky hair that he smooths vigorously each morning in the hope of flattening a cow-lick which rears from the top of his skull. The living embodiment of the World Surf League’s pivot away from surfing’s roots and to its generously inclusive, diverse, LGBTQ+ friendly model. 

Given this background, I was dazed, shocked, and finally intoxicated, when Prodan, architect of the WSL’s Wall of Positive Noise, punctured the his own edict with a tweet eviscerating Republican senator Josh Hawley, noted for his Conan Hayes-esque objection to Joe Biden’s victory in 2020, but famous now for running terrified from the Jan 6 attack on the US Capitol. 

Following a post of the Jan 6 video, which shows “Hypocrite and coward” Hawley raising his fist in solidarity to the revolting throng before fleeing out a side door, Prodan went nuke, 

“…that treasonous, spineless shit stain of a human being @HawleyMO is very good. That’s your legacy you racist, bigoted, craven asshole. That image. We all know it.”

Infinitely more thrilling to be enslaved by a hero than a devoted company man.

Do you think this signals a pivot by the WSL to the more exciting principles of drama and conflict in sport?

Or, no.

A spasm of honesty and boldness, but temporary.

Surf Journalist (pictured) on the road.
Surf Journalist (pictured) on the road.

Surf Journalist embarks on epic quest across great United States of America in order to find mythical non-surfing World Surf League fan!

Someone has to do it.

World Surf League CEO Erik Logan appeared recently on the much-loved Lipped podcast and dropped jaws with an incredibly rosy assessment of professional competitive surfing. Engagement through the roof, new fans turned each and every day, partners fighting each other to throw money at the unfolding glory.

Long part of the bullish WSL growth push, since it was acquired for free by billionaire Dirk Ziff, has been converting those who don’t surf but fall in love with the “sport” as passive consumers much like the UFC has non-combat fans and football has non-brain damaged ones. Transitioning into “real,” as it were, or at the very least “legitimate.”

I am certain both China and India have multiple of these wonders who spend fourteen to sixteen hours a day locked in small cubicles loving professional competitive surfing deeply but for anything to really pop it has to pop in the great United States of America.

Even diminished, the land of the free, home of the brave, still reigns pop supreme.

And so I will drive from Cardiff by the Sea to Albuquerque, New Mexico, to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma to Memphis, Tennessee before ending in Nashville. My steed, a 2012 Volkswagen Jetta Wagon in black, that must be delivered to my ultra-talented soccer playing daughter at Vanderbilt.

Leaving in hours.

What will I find in bars and roadside hotels along the way? Gas stations and rest stops?


That, friends, will be the story of our time.

Of professional competitive surfing’s true rise or, as the case may be, Logan’s lies.

More as the story develops.

Famed pig hunter Chas Smith (pictured).
Famed pig hunter Chas Smith (pictured).

Surfer shares horrifying story of being brutally savaged in Hawaii lineup by crazed pig: “It had a bloody face as if it had been attacked, the longest snout, with tusks like a baby mastodon!”

"There was a giant bite mark. That could have been me."

Any surfer who has traveled to the Hawaiian Island chain knows that it is paradisiacal but also knows a dark menace lurks beneath the plumeria and hibiscus flowers. Violently spilled açaí bowls. But also wild pigs. Nasty things that defecate in water sources, root around for goodness only knows what and terrify the unsuspecting.

Usually, this terror occurs on terra firma with the beasties snorting and glaring. They are not afraid of humankind and so gladly charge, tusks bloody and gross.

Sometimes, though, it occurs in the surf and let us, quickly, to Igrid Seiple’s harrowing tale on Oahu’s North Shore.

One day in December 2021, I drove out at dawn to Mokulē’ia beach on Oahu’s north shore. I picked a spot to surf and went down to the shore with a friend. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was out and the waves no bigger than two feet. We paddled out; he went right and I turned left. The nearest people were 200 metres away.

I began surfing the waves, then saw something floating towards me. I wondered if it was a seal, but it looked stiff. Suddenly, it lifted its head out of the water. I was eye to eye with a wild boar, only 1.5 metres from me. It was shocked – and so was I. It had a bloody face as if it had been attacked, the longest snout, with tusks like a baby mastodon, and a look of desperation. I was afraid and, more than that, surprised. What was it doing here?

It started piggy-paddling towards me with all its might. I turned to paddle away, but its face was at my foot. I got off my board and placed it between us as a safety barrier. The pig pulled itself up and took a chunk out of the board with its teeth. I swam underwater in the other direction, and when I surfaced 3 metres away I realised it had broken through the fibreglass casing of the board and crunched through the foam. There was a giant bite mark. That could have been me.

Seiple, thankfully, made a getaway but if she hadn’t I’m certain the most feared pig hunter on the island would have been called in to TCB.

Yours truly.

Or don’t you remember how I was an integral part of a crack team that slayed a terror up Kualoa Ranch way.

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