Shredders hit the Grand Canal.

Echoes of Mussolini in Venice furore as two “overbearing idiot” surfers are arrested for riding foil-boards through city’s Grand Canal, “The two surfboards have been confiscated and soon … those responsible will be in our grasp.”

“We urgently need more powers to the Mayors in terms of public safety!”

Two surfers, although, yeah, it might be a stretch to call em that given the choice of craft, have been arrested and heavily fined following a joy ride through Venice’s famous Grand Canal. 

Venice’s Mayor Luigi Brugnaro tweeted a video of the electric foil-riding surfers, describing ‘em “as two overbearing idiots making a mockery of the city” and offered a free dinner if you snitched on ‘em. 

“We urgently need more powers to the Mayors in terms of public safety!” wrote Brugnaro pining, perhaps, for the glory days of Il Duce, where the Fasci di Combattimenti, Italy’s Blackshirts, lived by the motto, “Me ne frego” (I do not give a damn”).

Already, “Angels of Decorum” patrol the thousand-year-old streets, hitting tourists with fines for jumping in the canals, feeding the birds or walking around without a shirt on.

Only last week, Brugnaro called for the immediate imprisonment of a Scottish tourist who was caught having a lil swim.

CCTV got the shredders, 25k boards were confiscated ‘cause they weren’t insured, both of ‘em were fined $1500 apiece for “having endangered the navigation of the canal”, they were hit with antisocial behaviour orders and expelled from the city.

Venice ain’t done with ‘em, either.

The city’s lawyers are starting proceedings against ‘em for “damaging the image of the city.”


Wright (pictured) in aftermath of shock loss.
Wright (pictured) in aftermath of shock loss.

Pipe Master and current world number seven Tyler Wright suffers shock loss in elimination round of Tahiti Pro thereby ending season in depressing fashion!

Much sad.

The Outerknown Tahiti Pro got started early this morning for the first time of the event window, the women paddling out into building swell under a grey sky that eventually gave way to rainbows. Not many barrels were ridden as most chose to “go to turns” for the score. Action saw Johanne Defay suffer defeat to local wildcard Vahine Fierro, Brisa Hennessy taking down Gabriela Bryan, Tati Weston-Webb barely surviving Isabella Nichols and, shock of all shocks, Tyler Wright falling to Lakey Peterson in the last heat.

The Pipe Master, and current world number seven, needed a win in order to, maybe, propel herself into the final five and had opportunities, late, but came up just shy after throwing a large backhanded hack near the barrel as time clicked down.

The season began with much promise for Wright and the months leading up to the start of the 2023 campaign may be filled with second-guessing. With sadness.

How do you feel?

Depressed not to see the two-time world champion knocked from contention?

Happy for Lakey Peterson, still in the hunt, and her coach Mike “Snips” Parsons?

Much to discuss.

Open Thread: Comment Live, Day Two of the Outerknown Tahiti Pro where brave surfers can avoid reality but not the consequences of avoiding reality!

Presented by contest holds.

Laird (pictured) showing off his beans.
Laird (pictured) showing off his beans.

Laird Hamilton receives unsolicited offer of whopping $3 (per share) for sweet cream from suited and booted banker sending self-esteem soaring!


Now, when was the last time you were unsolicited offered anything at all? Walking down the street and hearing cat call, co-worker telling you they like your blouse and would love to buy you a drink, having something slipped in that drink and waking up without memory in a roadside motel?

The age of the unsolicited offer seems like a bygone one and so you can imagine how thrilled Laird Hamilton felt when he was unsolicited offered $3 for his cream by a stogy banker named EF Hutton.

Now, $3 may seem low for one of the world’s greatest surfer’s eponymous Superfood but things have not been great for the business since it was established in 2015. Initially, Joe and Jane loved to spoon Laird into their morning coffee and, when it went public, the share price soared up near $50 per share.

Happy days with Hamilton the cock of the walk.

But then something happened, Joe and Jane found other turn ons and share price crumbled near junk level.

Sad days with Hamilton limp and blue.

But now, and per Business Wire:

Laird Superfood, Inc. (NYSE American: LSF) (“Laird Superfood” or “Company”) today confirmed that it has received an unsolicited offer from EF Hutton SPV I LLC to acquire all of the Company’s outstanding common stock for $3.00 per share in cash.

The Laird Superfood Board of Directors will carefully review the proposal and determine the course of action that it believes is in the best interests of the Company and all Laird Superfood shareholders. Laird Superfood shareholders do not need to take any action at this time.

Laird Superfood does not intend to further comment publicly on these matters unless it determines it is in the best interest of shareholders to do so.

Rumors swirling in chat rooms suggest that Laird wants $5 or $6 per share, feeling sassy with the newfound attention.

Well, we totally should have gamestonked.

Lost opportunity.

Courtney Conlogue aka Lil Tiger, is ready for anything! Let 'em loose, boss! | Photo: @wsl

Surf fans slam “sexist” decision to run historic first women’s heats at Teahupoo in sixteen years in surf deemed too poor for male competitors, “How can the WSL claim to promote gender equality while putting only women in these terrible conditions?”

"So disappointing. #wslmaledominance is grossssssss.”

An historic moment for women’s surfing today as the best in the world, including those storied multiple world champs Stephanie Gilmore, Tyler Wright and Carissa Moore, paddled out at Teahupoo for the first time in sixteen years. 

What should’ve been a day to celebrate was slammed by the WSL’s own fans as the women were forced to surf in waves so poor their male counterparts were given another day off as they wait for an upcoming epic swell. 

The fans railed,

“How come WSL claims to promote gender equality while putting only women to surf these terrible conditions? That’s disrespectful to women’s surfing.” 

“ALWAYS PUTTING THE GIRLS IN THE SMALLEST CONDITIONS. So disappointing . They deserve the best conditions. #wslmaledominance is grossssssss.”

“What a joke, why even show this? These girls shred in proper conditions. Not this.” 

“Gotta feels sorry for the women having to surf this shit.” 

“What an anti-climax after all the hype… yawn… turned it off and vacuumed the house instead.” 


“This is embarrassing.” 

“The WSL: hurry up and turn the women’s before the swell comes in.” 

“Waited sixteen years to send them out prior to the swell. A total setback joke.” 

“There were four proper waves in four hours of competition, your call today was a big LOL.” 

Even former title contender Julian Wilson couldn’t help ripping in, “Shortened field still can’t escape the poor conditions.” 

The event was scrapped for women in 2006 because the wave, which is shallow as hell and has nowhere to run if you don’t wanna get near the tube, was deemed too dangerous for the gals, a call that infuriated the then best female surfer in the world Layne Beachley. 

“There’s been a rumour going around that the girls all got together and decided they didn’t want to go there because we were too scared… That’s completely untrue,” Beachley told the Australian newspaper, The Sun-Herald at the time. “We’re extremely disappointed and incredibly frustrated.”

Four years earlier, she’d conducted her victory interview there as she stood in a pool of her own blood, feet, arm, back and legs covered in lacerations.

The tour leader at the mid-point in 2002, Melanie Redman-Carr, said, “It’s a pretty sexist decision. If the men can go there, why can’t we? They’re scared about one of us getting badly hurt and having all the bad publicity coming from that. Just going to Teahupoo has improved the standard of women’s surfing. They seem to think it’s too heavy and dangerous for us. We want to show that’s wrong, and we’ve been doing it. To lose Teahupoo – it’s just pointless.”

Critics will point to the fact that highly ranked tour surfers Megan Abubo and Lyn Mackenzie didn’t catch a wave in their Teahupoo heats although that criticism could also be levelled at the men given that the current world number one, Filipe Toledo, scored the lowest total in professional surfing history when he achieved a zero-heat point total at Teahupoo seven years ago. 

Even Gabriel Medina had to be coaxed into surfing the Box a few years back when the Margaret River Pro was moved there with the words, “You’re the world champ! You have to surf!”

More tomoz!