"May our voices whisper to you from the ageless stones, Go tell the Spartans, passerby: That here by Spartan law, we lie.”
Yesterday surf fans around the world were riding high. Zeke Lau had just etched his name in the annals of surf history by taking out the entire field at the US Open of Surfing, hoisting a fluorescent board high above his head as the beach went wild. Those who doubted that Lau was, in fact, “The Ultimate Surfer” forced to eat much crow. To make matters even sweeter, John John Florence was somewhere near the South Pacific and even though his boat might be hobbled, possibly sailing to the Outerknown Tahiti Pro, name still on the heat draw.
Well, the sun set and rose again to the news that Florence is out and the World Surf League has, instead, gone for the safe, though entirely uninspiring choice of Michel Bourez.
Surf fans, around the world, falling heartsick, breaking down emotionally as the WSL, long on the way, officially reached Peak Milquetoast.
According to BeachGrit’s stat department, Bourez has gotten 9th place four times, at Teahupoo, 13th place three times and 25th place three times.
He retired from professional competition at some point in the last decade but nobody cared and so it is undocumented.
The World Surf League could have followed the surprising inclusion of Nathan “Hog” Hedge with two-time winner Bobby Martinez or simply done the right thing and tapped the trials’ runner-up Matahi Drollet.
Bourez.
Snooze-town.
Or, in French if you prefer, roupillon-ville.
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Most of the ladies will be happy with the immediate forecast. Less sleepless nights for the time being. At least Steph won’t have to think of a lame excuse to pull out. Unless it rears up unexpectedly. Tolly will be pulling out due to the er, shoulder problem picked up wherever it was last time out.
That theory would appear to be confirmed by the fact that he is not being quoted on the first betting list I glanced upon today. Robbo at 3/1 favourite and no sign of the little flash Brazilian fellah. Well not quite true as the other little Brazilian flash harry Italo is 9/2 second favourite.
Pfft. Might as well be bodyboarding.
Matahi and Clay should have been wildcards.
Even tougher to fathom is no Moana Jones Wong wildcard in Womens event. It’s like these guys at WSL are intentionally driving away the hard core fans.
Moana had her turn, Local Gal would have smoked her anyway.
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
WSL trying to sell through their old Michel Bourez jerseys. Back for a limited time in 2022. Own a piece of history today!
Is anyone even working at the wsl anymore or have the bots gone sentient and just associated Tahiti comp – Tahitian surfer = the Spartan.
I wanna know who the ultimate ‘fagged’ surf fan is? Negs? Bex? VS?
The back foot leg stall though
I’m sure he’s a lovely bloke in many ways, but if it’s true that he gave himself a nickname; ‘The Spartan’, then he’s dead to me.
He gave himself that? lol
So I read here, but who knows?
I’ll believe it.
I’m sure that we could get a definitive answer from someone here.Someone will chime in with unhelpful rumour and innuendo.
How long in the tooth is Hedgy anyway? What rock did they find him under? Ok, you’ve been out of the mix for decades, how about a Chopes wildcard????
Proves my point, there should not be wild cards. If you can’t qualify for the tour, watch like me.
1/64th of a German Male Leg?
Completely fuckin over Matahi. This makes no sense, except its the Wozzle so it actually does make sense (maybe).
You mean you expect something fucked up, not that it makes sense.
The commentators need something to talk about
Bourez equals snoozefest.
When you want Clay, life throws mud.
Padang appeared to be WSL sanctioned. Where Clay Marzo at?
Most of the week of the 8th looks very quiet again, although trades
may finally back down to normal or even light’ish levels. We’ve got some
small SW to SSW swell on the radar for the 11th-14th but even good
spots don’t look significantly better than head high to a little bit
overhead at this time.
Beyond that models are suggesting a round of stronger SSW swell for
the 15th-17th timeframe. As things look currently, that would depend on a
low forming south of NZ on Wednesday and tracking NE, and deepening to
set up a good fetch of strong winds and potential for a stronger round
of SSW. This is all storm behavior dependent and so currently confidence
is low on this one. Stay tuned… (Surflineman has Premium)
https://d14fqx6aetz9ka.clou…
So they’ll get the girls out of the way from the 11th to 14th.
Taking their “rightful place in Tahiti”, as WSL says, on the lay days. I say give them 12-15ft Chopes and call it a year. That would be way more interesting to me than dragging it out to Trestles.
Hah yes! Earn their keep!
5-8-feet glassy tomorrow, a quick rise…
you’re qualifying heat starts at 10:15AM…
against the #4 from Indo…
Nobody cared and is undocumented? LOLOLOLOL.
Tahitian bred thru & thru…give him a big canvas to work with, oh great tahitian princess…
https://img.rawpixel.com/s3…
Ah and there I was thinking he was French.
John and Gabe with similar injuries.
One is at the gym + physio everyday. The other went off to sail.
Still people seem confused why guys like Gabe and Ítalo don’t get injured as often..
sailing sounds like more fun than lifting weights though doesn’t it,,,,
bingo
I can only see one of those guys looking happy.
One of those guys can’t surf for half a year every year.
John John got bored with doing the same physio routine for the same injury for a 4th time.
Or is it 5th now?
Either way it’s become like christmas,it comes around every year
Did Bourez ever do well in this contest? I seem to recall him always losing early. Owen Wright seems to have flown out for the contest – for a holiday – yeah Wright. Let’s see!
He sticks his leg straight out behind him in the barrel to stall. That’s all I remember about him at chopes
Pretty sure that was accidental.
Haha. No it’s a technique he uses. He’s done it multiple times .
Seems to work well for his results at Chopes lol
It made him look like he was peeing dog style!
World Snooze League
Eimeo or whatever that kids name is is the only correct choice If our goal is to see who the best in the world is out there. Erin brooks would have been a better pick than bourez. Fucks sake wsl