All fingers crossed.
Nearly two weeks ago, the hard-hitting surf news service BeachGrit reported, exclusively, that universally adored surfer John John Florence was filling his catamaran with surfboards and provisions, cryptically penning, “South we go, excited and a bit nervous. I have never done a trip like this.”
Surf fans, desperate for a return of Blonde Ambition, immediately broke out nautical charts, protractors, and discovered that French Polynesia just so happens to lie south of Florence’s Hawaii.
Could it be?
Might it be?
The two-time world champion headed to Tahiti for the Outerknown Pro which kicks in mere days?
Florence, injured since G-Land, has missed the last three competitions but there his name, bold, tautological floats above Miguel Pupo and Kelly Slater in the heat number eight draw.
Well, the aforementioned surf fans, bathing in hope, received quite the scare, days ago, when Florence released an update that they had run into heavy seas.
Florence’s yacht may have suffered some damage to the rudder and rig and the crew is now searching for an atoll in which they can anchor and make necessary repairs.
Panicked, surf fans are doing anything they can to assist including offering advice on Instagram and petitioning the patron saint of sailing, Nathan “Hog” Hedge.
Will he arrive in time?
All fingers crossed.
JohnJohn is a good surfer, but a super shit sailor. Nobody likes him. NonJohn is a very good sailor. Nobody likes him either, but at least he can sail.
He rides on a “Gun Boat”. The finest sailing catamaran that money can buy. There simply is no pounding, more like slicing. I do see the shot across the bow, fret not! Our beloved double J is safe along with his knee. I could see him sporting a peg leg however. John John “Patchy Beard” Florence.
I see in the history of the island John is at doing repairs (just strap your knees brace to the rudder mate, she’ll be right), it was originally named after the wife of its whaler discoverer. He had separately described the island as low and barren.
That’s just the excuse to stop and try to remove the endless loop of ‘The Sloop John B’ that I glued into the 8-track.
He’ll make for the second round.
Please Jeebus…
Please my sweet lord above…
Please my sweet almighty lord above us…
Please someone… please anyone… please…
Make, create memes about this, with these pics…
https://uploads.disquscdn.c… https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
WSL better have another wildcard ready. Is Snowy McAllister available?
bobby jo mcallister fell of the tallahasse bridge!
I have my hardened sextant at the ready