...Lost
One week ago, from tomorrow, I returned from an epic quest. With our World Surf League registering almost unheard of growth, and dreams of spiking into major major territory, capturing the middle of these great United States is essential. And so there, went I, to discover the non-surfing World Surf League fan, who I’d imagine would be a dime a dozen.
And discover-ish one I did, in Memphis, Tennessee but, shockingly, no one, not even the unicorn, had ever heard of the world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater.
The closest I got was also in Memphis. A bartender who was vaguely aware of “some surfer who dates models.”
Had to be Slater, right?
But how is it that he, considered by many to be the world’s greatest athlete, purveyor of eponymous television programs, decades of wild SportCenter mentions is a virtual unknown?
Remembered for “dating models” even though he is in a committed loving relationship with a beautiful Chinese girlfriend for the last decade plus?
Maybe it wasn’t Slater.
But, even though assuming makes an ass out of u and ming, I assumed.
Zero.
I asked after him in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas and zero recognition until Tennessee where “dating models” is what maybe registered.
Do you take as affront?
Should we?
More to the point, will further Challenger Series events be cancelled?
Let’s, all of us, stay tuned.
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surf contests have always been designed as anti-super spreader events, at least in the water. consider 2 or three or 4 guys/gals in the water at the most populated, popular, and powerful beach waves around the world…a kind of black-balled, blackout time for the thousands of regulars who must simply recline, imbibe, and refrain themselves from all the true fun. sure we read about protests…but the power to allow the select few to roll-over the masses is no less stunning than clearing the shore and the ocean during the covid period…(i put that in my pipe and smoked it)
After watching the US open from time to time this week I can’t imagine a person who doesn’t surf finding surfing interesting or a priority to watch.
here’s a unicorn!
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
He could be right. It is now your task to do a complete investigation on Kelly now that we have credible evidence that he is a suspect in both of these threats to Kelly’s throne.
“just leave it to beaver”…(the editors were not consulted…)
cc: Scales. Warshaw. Smith. Reilly
Fuck this site worships Slater with at least every second story something about him.
Makes me think he must own it and be putting all this out himself to try stay relevant as his contest results, apart from 1 event every year, aren’t anymore.
Change the name from Beachgrit to Kellygrit.
Now that would be very relevant.
You must be new here…stick around a while you’ll figure it out.
If you don’t like Kellygrit you probably wont like Jonahgrit either.
I miss AsstonGrit. That was fun.
Sure was
Johnagrit has Malibu man boob bras
Doesn’t every sucked up seemingly unmakable triple lipped freight train section beg the question what would Bruce Lee do if he surfed and hadn’t been shot by slater?
Chas, if you want go on quest to find surf fans that don’t surf start DMing Medina’s 10.4 million followers. 90 plus percent of them probably don’t surf.
Yes, but the money for profit audience for the Wsl is the Usa.
The U.S. doesn’t give a crap about soccer, but world wide soccer is profitable, way more profitable than surfing. Also views are views. Seems like Brazilian’s even show up in the U.S. to check out surf contests. They’re spending money too.
Well duh, any kid in any country can go out and buy a soccer ball for a few bucks, no ocean needed.
I wouldn’t pay too much attention to what Sam says … he’s preconceived ideas blind him from seeing the obvious
Ya, the Ford Truck ad I saw online with Italo speaking in Portuguese was clearly not aimed at the U.S. market. If Ford trucks see’s Brazil as a feasible market, The WSL surely can too.
How many people who bought brand clothing knew anything about skaters. The hip whatevers wear the cool clothes for free so the wealthy wanta-be’s will take the bait and the masses get hooked and the hipp underground logos sell out so I can finally afford that stupid logo at Ross. Try asking every person in a quicksilver t if they ever heard of Tom Caroll?
I’ve never seen the WSL’s profit Data, so whatever.
Well, that’s easily explainable, I don’t believe they’ve made any profit to this date.
Everyone seems to believe they’ve been operating with a negative cash flow up to the date, with Dirk making up the difference to keep it rolling.
happy day…mid tide & swell…local is stoked…prime shot…spread it ’round
https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
new neighbor…https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx.fbcdn.ne…
Hey I was a radio model back in the day when not doing action ski modeling
Hey Chas don’t despair! I walked into a Vail valley liquor store tonight and the guy in front of me was wearing a Billabong wife beater and rainbow board shorts, so I asked the only Q that matters: Do you surf? His response was a question as follows:
“Behind a boat or in the ocean?”
I felt a wave of excitement come over me as I knew this guy(from the freshwater surf mecca of Minnesota) was who the WSL is looking for and he has indeed surfed in the ocean, when not surfing behind a boat in the “fresh water” he referred to when talking about boat surfing…I WILL SLEEP WELL TONIGHT!
pretty up there, lucky you.
he’s josh tudoring us!!!
WHOA!
We hang down valley away from the pretty people in Vail. Riding the mtn bike trails between Arrowhead and Bever Creek is the best kept secret in the mtn bike scene as the rich folks don’t ride. Hardly anyone rides them and the post ride Coors Lights taste really good when chased with tequila…
reporting live sarcasm from The Vans Open…good one!
What would Ronnie G. say?? R.I.P.
THIS!!!!
This Memphis? https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Or this one? https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Well
Sustainable sockless wannabe 12th world title bald guy, clearly frys a fish with one eye on the frying pan, and the other eye on the cat!
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Is that a server size ?
One of the dumbest logos ever is what it is.
Still, I was constrained and so kept true to the form of the OG ….
Could this person be merely thinking of an avid collector of old boards? One who is knowledgable in the DATING of surfboard MODELS?
Perhaps they saw this person on that famous TV show; ‘Can I Sell Grandma’s Knickknacks For A Good Weekend?’.
Everone knows Mick Fanning.
Even people in th filipino jungle
I have a MF eight ooooh Beastie for sale now that Chas told me fat old guys cannot ride anything over 7ft…
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A sea of Slaters!
Clater
Hey Kelly…Owen Wilson called and wants his nose back.
better call sal, the dermoman of the stars