Bummer days are here to stay.
A mere hour ago, fans of competitive professional surfing around the globe thrilled at the possible return of our glory days. Julian Wilson, one-time golden boy, the “Conquerer from Coolum,” was set to paddle out at the world’s most popular surf contest, currently underway in Huntington Beach, California, and usher in a new era of hope and prosperity.
Our heroes once surfed the “Dream Tour” and we thrilled at their exploits.
They were once sponsored by august brands like Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA and we wore their clothing.
The dream tour has died and we are left with a handful of scrappy Brazilians attempting to punch their ticket to Lower Trestles.
Quiksilver, Billabong, RVCA are all one brand that will soon belong to notoriously stingy Vans. The company making heaps of money but loves, more than anything, not paying market value for extreme sport athletes who toil in the action salt mines.
And, thus, Wilson paddled out with the weight of time’s past, a possible new age of Aquarius and was thusly defeated by Ryan Callinan and Taichi Wakita in waves neither you nor I would surf unless we were going to get grounded for refusing.
It’s over. All over.
Also, as a child, what is the longest you were ever grounded?
On paper, I think I was grounded for the back half of my entire high school campaign.