Truth Social.
Memories, ahhhhh memories. Teahupo’o 2022 locked into the record books with only a cloud of recollections and confusion about how to appropriately mispronounce that place at the end of the road. As already discussed, we were treated to very memorable moments courtesy of Nathan “Hog” Hedge, Filipe “Brrr” Toledo, the greatest surfer of all-time Kelly Slater both in victory, defeat and sitting in channel providing realtime commentary that would cause heart attacks amongst top World Surf League brass.
Here, in a clip maybe accidentally posted to the WSL’s robust Instagram account, tour mainstay Jordy Smith can be seen hucking into a proper bomb. Slater, on boat, responds by hooting loudly then adding, “He’s not very deep though.”
Now it is clear that the WSL social team, maybe consisting of CEO Erik Logan and Head of Tours Jessi Miley-Dyer, did not hear Slater’s aside but imagine with me for just one moment.
Imagine that this sort of honesty, truth, critical eye was allowed into the World Surf League booth even for a few heats an event.
Fans of professional surfing, at home, are certainly craving this sort of gimlet eye and, maybe, dreaming that Slater will enter the booth once his competitive days are over or possibly even before his competitive days are over.
A commentator-surfer much like Pete Rose was once a player-manager.
Charlie Hustle.
Now, Sasha is wrong. I am a fierce critic and I will not be quiet about this. Which females lost a place in competition because of h** participation? If they truly believe males have no advantage why don’t they follow through and scrap sex segregated surfing? Or do they simply keep the female category to validate the feelings of gender diverse people?
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Possibly BUT I am inclined to believe the WSL focus on becoming mainstream left little room for allowing BG a formal presence at their marque event. Knowing the makeup of their buttoned up, current leadership can you blame them after reading comments on these pages? I am convinced they fear the foundational vibe of BG’s readership and all it represents as they try to transform this bad boy/girl sport into their idea of a sport. Tragic but likely true
YES and it is with heartfelt sadness that my offer to help pay for the tent has fallen on deaf ears including an attempted prodding of Dave Prodan with a twitter offer to debate him on christofascist versus anti-semitic rantings from both evil political parties in the US. And while I wept profusely for a few days I’ll find other business expenses for those dollars.
Is this really true? Did the wsl posted a video of Kelly scratching his balls and talking shit about his fellow?
Has beachgrit put someone inside?
so sublime, so true!
kelly would have wagered on his own team too. ban him? saw Mr. Rose doing live commentary from his booth in Florida and bought his tee-shirt. big fan!
Crazy, the level of skill–late drop, steep ledge, big barrel throwing fast–90% of most surfers would never paddle for that; of the 10% who would, 2% would make that drop in that spot, and of that, maybe .05% look so comfortable as Jordy does. And then to realize, Slater is right.
Slater touching his cock was the highlight of jordy ride
where was Elo’s finger?
Depends where you live.
That 2% in South Carolina is more like 20% in Hawaii
“I’ve seen bigger waves in a toilet.” Yep.
Honesty in the Booth!! This aggression will not stand!
Hey beach grit, who really fu@#ing cares. ?? It’s sad you can’t find anything important to write about , jerk offs
Welcome! We think you’ll fit right in Xox
he’s in way too deep…about the 55:01 minute mark!
https://youtu.be/n5ZVSDM7DLU
The narrator would be way more entertaining than Turpel and his socal nasal surf bro clichés. Sadly he’s probably dead. “He’s a real hotdogger!”
Fucken crying shame that the person who did the production of the digital overcooked that stuff. Must have been a sale on Sharpen that day….
go to the 55:04 minute…it’s really a deep dive!
speed,
The only Q that matters now that it has been pre-ordained Toledo will win at trestles is simple: Will BG put out a Barstool style t-shirt for all loyal BGers to wear proudly at the WSL finals? What could the theme of this t-shirt be?
how much for chill pills?
got a pic of a terantula…jalama boyz club…buddy droppd off the honorary t-shirt…here’s the bug/ https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
I’m ready to roll
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THIS!!! Now as a disciple of Hunter S. Thompson I am a firm believer the journalism practiced by Chas, Derek and the other folks at BG is strong, new age and exactly what is needed in the twisted media today. Maybe I’ll actually completely read one of their article in the near future
What about this ?
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Instead of a t-shirt…
We all can start our own chapters. Dez’s would be all leather with leash chokers..
positive noise-proof vest, sound -block headphones optional…
Love the design BUT I fear real biker gangs and some of my militant gay friends(need a gay friend badge from Negatron) might not appreciate us wearing leather vests on the beach. BUT there is safety in numbers so count me in! Maybe add a lyric from Minor Threat and all will be good
Suggest this as the theme song blaring over the beach commentary:
Too alarming now to talk about
Take your pictures down and shake it out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around
There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary…
foo fighters
good for him. I just imagined Joey Turpel doing exactly the same in the booth live – haha – that’d be 10 times more entertaining than the current state of commentary.
Less jordy getting tubed and more slater playing with his cock please!!!
Kalani miller’s emojis definitely make more sense now that you’ve brought that to my attention.
Like the time years ago at a Tahiti contest when peter Mel was caught out shit talking about Jonny boy pulling back in some boat commentary , “Jonny girl” I think was the sore point, he spent years hiding away and not going to Hawaii as a result
How about not fondling your tackle on live tv?
It’s Insta, not CBS.
It’s a new healthy cooking channel. He’s stirring the bone broth.
shaking the ketchup bottles to get to the last drop?
Kelly was feeling left out that ELo didn’t fondle him (unlike the way he was pawing at least one young lad yesterday), so he chose to take matters into his own hands…
Salt on the wounds after losing to the kid too.
scratching my head too.
That shirt he had on in the booth should come with an epilepsy-trigger warning
bill cosby
Aside from charging large barrels, Kelly seems to truly excel at commentating during contests. Post-retirement, hopefully the Wozzle will continue to have him in the commentary booth and give him the occasional wildcard to Pipe and Chopes.
really? God I find him insufferable. Have you ever heard Slater talk for more then 15 seconds straight without saying “I?” His ego is just too much. I will give him credit cause he will talk shit when the other people just bliss ninny everything
Cracking a fat at Chopes