Hawaiian royalty Nathan Florence and Koa Rothman say very hurtful things about beloved surf tabloid: “(BeachGrit) sucks. They’re not even big either, they just talk sh*t about anyone!”

"It's crazy."

A dirge is currently playing this morning in Cardiff-by-the-Sea, California. Wafting through the witching hour air in Bondi, New South Wales. Sadness and hurt the dominant emotions in BeachGrit’s twin desks. Questions of “why?” hanging heavy between the principals Derek Rielly and Chas Smith, though unspoken. Days ago Hawaiian surf royalty Nathan Florence and Koa Rothman went on the very popular Bertcast to announce that they would be launching a podcast of their own.

Bertcast host, Bert Kreischer who is a stand-up comedian and inspiration behind National Lampoon’s Van Wilder, is sitting outside in that warm Hawaiian air, across from Florence and Rothman and begins the conversation thusly:

“Would you talk just about surfing?”

Florence, the handsomest of his brothers, responds, “I don’t think we would talk just about surfing…” though Bert interjects before he can finish. “Here’s my question, is surfing like comedy where the gossip is what would sell?”

Florence ponders for a moment before answering, “I don’t think it would. There are some platforms that do sell on gossip but I wouldn’t say they’re the biggest.”

Bert, curious, wonders, “You talking about BeachGrit?

Florence, without pause, says, “Yes.”

Rothman, the handsomest of his brothers adds, “They suck, they suck.”

Bert, laughing, describes how the lovable surf tabloid pops into his feed. Florence tells him to “get it out of there.” Rothman interjects, “They’re not even big either. They talk shit about anyone.” At the same time Florence says, “They just make up stuff. They just straight make up stuff.”

Rothman ends with, “It’s crazy,” shaking his head.

Tears in Chas Smith’s coffee.

Tears on Derek Rielly’s pillow.

More as this story of woe develops.