In moving tribute, World Surf League celebrates itself for celebrating indigenous peoples on day dedicated to them!

Touching too.

Yesterday marked Columbus Day, for some, Indigenous Day, for most, in these United States of America. A time to reflect on those who occupied these lands first, whose “new world” was across the sea in Europe. The World Surf League moved many by celebrating itself and its supporting of indigenous peoples on tour all year long in a powerful post that began:

Today, and every day, we honor and acknowledge Indigenous communities all over the world. This year, we have had the privilege to work with Indigenous communities across the globe. From California to Australia, Hawaii to Tahiti, we are committed to deepening these relationships globally and uplifting Indigenous voices. To learn more about how WSL is collaborating with Indigenous coastal stewards to shift culture read the article here.

The article pointed to everything the WSL did i.e. posting signs outside events acknowledging the original inhabitants and inviting tribal leaders to come to contests for blessings and other cultural performance for the viewing pleasure of professional surfers and sometimes professional surf fans.

Native plants were also planted by professional surfers but that may be a different component of goodwill that needs its own celebratory post.

Raise a sarsaparilla toward Santa Monica please.

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Slater (left) and Gabbard (further right).
Slater (left) and Gabbard (further right).

One-time Hawaii rep and noted surfer Tulsi Gabbard leaves party after fiery screed: “I can no longer remain in today’s Democratic Party that is now under the complete control of an elitist cabal of warmongers driven by cowardly wokeness!”

"So long, suckers."

American politics’ most famous surfer, after Richard Milhous Nixon, would certainly have to be Hawaii’s one-time Democratic representative Tulsi Gabbard. The congresswoman, who served the state in Washington D.C. from 2013 through 2021 and was notable for her Hindu faith, military service in Iraq and support of food trucks in Honolulu was, also, wonderful friends with Kelly Slater, recipient of The Inertia’s Global Advocate Award on top of being a passionate wave slider.

Though her political stance has shifted a bit since she left office, few expected the video screed she left, overnight, torching Democrats to the very bone on the way out the door.

Gabbard said:

I can no longer remain in today’s Democratic Party that is now under the complete control of an elitist cabal of warmongers driven by cowardly wokeness, who divide us by racializing every issue and stoke anti-white racism, actively work to undermine our God-given freedoms that are enshrined in our Constitution. I believe in a government that is of the people, by the people and for the people.

And:

Unfortunately, today’s Democratic Party does not. Instead, it stands for a government that is of, by and for the powerful elite. I’m calling on my fellow common sense, independent-minded Democrats to join me in leaving the Democratic Party.

Amongst other things.

The question now remains, will The Inertia abandon “cowardly wokeness” or continue to tread that rosy path?

More importantly, what does Kelly Slater think?

And Gisele Bündchen?

We already know Tom Brady’s opinion. Let’s go, Brandon etc.

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Palm Springs killjoys responsible for spiking Coral Mountain wave pool concept aim conservative moral outrage at region’s other proposed tanks!

"What could they be doing more conservatively?"

A handful of days ago, Southern California surfers woke up to the very bad news that Coral Mountain, a wave pool-centric project in tony Palm Springs, had been rejected by grouchy local killjoys. They showed up, en masse, to local city council meetings complaining about all the loud surf young ‘uns set to invade, them bringing their loud rock ‘n’ roll or hippity-hoppity music, bright lights and water wasting.

Coral Mountain was, thus, spiked but the grumps are not through and have now aimed their moral outrage at other neighboring surf tank plans including DSRT Surf and Thermal Beach Club.

Alena Callimanis, a core member of La Quinta Residents for Responsible Development, was thrilled at the group’s smashing of dreams, is frustrated that the aforementioned vowel-resistant DSRT Surf and Thermal Beach Club have already been approved by their city council’s, telling the Desert Sun, “It’s so much harder once a project has been approved to do anything, but if we can (let’s) move the needle to have these cities relook at their water calculations to look at — what could they be doing more conservatively?”

“More conservatively” an extremely slippery slope. What might the demands include?

Agreeing to only play Tony Bennett at low volume?

Refusing entry to certain people groups?

Mitch McConnell nights?

Dangerous.

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Nikki Van Dijk gives hell to the Best during one of the early sessions a few years back.

Surfer sues Australian wavepool after allegedly suffering “gruesome” neck injury at Tullamarine tank; blames design fault on Wavegarden tech, “I feel incredibly lucky that I’m not a paraplegic or quadriplegic after hitting the concrete so hard!”

Urbnsurf say he surfed in an advanced session “when he knew or ought to have known this was beyond his skill and capability”.

Always gonna happen, I suppose, someone hitting the concrete bottom of a tank and busting their neck.

I’ve been to Urbnsurf, Australia’s first commercial tank, down in Melbourne four times and on two separate occasions a decent sorta surfer has bounced off the bottom, headfirst. 

The first was Swellnet’s Stu Nettle on media day there three years ago, a gorgeous summer day where the temperature hit 110 degrees, and where the pool was loosed to the clowns for a dozen non-stop hours. 

Real early in the piece, Stu was sucked up the face of a lefthand tube and into the concrete bottom when a layback went awry.

As he wrote at the time,

“Before setting foot in the pool everyone signed a waiver about surfing being an inherently dangerous activity. It’s a formality of course. I expected as much. But it takes on significance when you realise the danger. 

“Yeah, the danger.

“Allow me to provide some perspective.

“The first time you hit bottom is a shock. It’s hard concrete and maybe thigh deep where the lip hits. Fall on take off and you’re trying to find a place to hide in knee deep water as the lip of the next wave pitches and the rider and board pass overhead.

“My session ended after two hours when the toe side rail caught during a layback and I went over leading with my head and shoulder, each making contact and hard. The lifeguards, who’d just stitched up another punter, were quickly onto me, sitting me down and assessing damage. They decided on glue and steristrips, and an enforced end to the session. Tail between my legs, I went poolside to dry off.”

On another all-dayer a pal head-butted the bottom after being sucked up the face of the righthander and ended the day in the hozzy.

But you take your lickings. You sign the waiver; you know the bottom ain’t sand; and if it barrels, it’s gotta be shallow. 

Capiche? 

Maybe.

Peter Nolan, a thirty-five-year-old surfer and carpenter from the beach town of Ocean Grove an hour-and-a-half out of Melbourne, has filed a writ saying he suffered fractures in his spine and at the base of his neck after being belted by the pool last December 30. 

Nolan says he was “picked up by a wave and thrown into the concrete surface of the pool” and has been off work ever since. 

Nolan claims Urbnsurf should’ve warned him about the dangers despite anyone who gets in the tank signing a waiver which details “the risk of harm associated with surfing … as an obvious risk.” 

He told the Herald-Sun, “I feel incredibly lucky that I’m not a paraplegic or quadriplegic after hitting the concrete so hard, especially since my surgeon told me that many people who experience something like I did end up in a wheelchair… The psychological impact has been tough, and I pretty much avoid surfing now out of fear of getting hurt.”

Urbnsurf, in their defence, say Nolan surfed in an advanced session “when he knew or ought to have known this was beyond his skill and capability”.

Bummer for Nolan, but not sure what else Urbnsurf could’ve done to y’know, make it a safe space and so on. 

The case goes to court in October, 2023.

If the suit succeeds the implications could be myriad, helmets, an end to Beast sessions etc.

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Slater, on the phone to Goldsmith.

Surf fans rub eyes in disbelief as Gisele Bündchen follows former-flame Kelly Slater’s lead, leaps into arms of faith healer amidst drama with estranged husband Tom Brady!

Peas in a pod.

Surf fans woke this morning, covered in dried candle wax, not knowing how much more their hearts could take. It was almost a week ago when news leaked that Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen had each hired divorce lawyers and were very likely headed toward a split. The couple, who had seemed nothing but ideal over the past decade-plus, had apparently been dealing with issues for some time, some unspecified big fight finally blowing the wheels right off.

While divorce is never a happy affair, surf fans immediately began wondering if the Brazilian supermodel and her former flame, surfing great Kelly Slater, may just might rekindle their romance. The two seemed to share very much including “beach vibes” and having dated from 2005 to 2006.

News breaking today suggests there is even more. Page Six is reporting that Bündchen was seen today visiting a “faith healer.”

Per the respected gossip source:

Gisele Bündchen is happy to namastay right at her healer’s office.

The former Victoria’s Secret Angel was spotted visiting her Ayurvedic physician, Dr. Ewa Wieruszewska Lierle, on Friday for the second time as she continues to grapple with her seemingly broken marriage to Tom Brady.

The visit seemed to be a more casual one, as Bündchen was spotted carrying an Amazon Prime box out of the office while the doctor held a Tupperware container of what appeared to be split pea soup.

The Brazilian model and Wieruszewska Lierle wore similar beaded necklaces during their visit, which concluded with Bündchen getting into her car while participating in a serious phone conversation.

But who could forget Slater’s own Wieruszewska Lierle, one Charlie Goldsmith? He was introduced to us three years ago via the World Surf League.

Derek Rielly wrote at the time:

Were you as thrilled as I was by the appearance of “healer, inventor, businessman” Charlie Goldsmith in the Kelly Slater episode of Sound Waves, the WSL’s excellent new series? Goldsmith is very famous, at least in Australia, for his ability to cure the sick with his personal electric vibrations, as well as tap into the wellness zeitgeist with various business start-ups. In a three-month study carried out by the Australian television show Sunday Night, and screened last August, we are privy to the miracle of Goldsmith who “claims he possesses a mysterious energy that can cure the sick using just his mind…he can end chronic pain, cure crippling arthritis, even save lives.”

Goldsmith was eighteen years old when he “first felt a strange sensation between his hands. He says he soon discovered this energy could heal people. Worried about exposing himself to a world of doubters, he wanted to keep his gift secret until science supported his claims.”

A match made in the heavens?

I do believe Slater also enjoys split pea soup.

One more candle please.

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