Put your hands together, please.

The World Surf League’s CEO, Erik Logan, delighted his legion of fans, hours ago, by reaching peak Erik Logan. The handsome fifty-something had been getting closer and closer in recent months, after suffering a near-fatal surfing accident in Tahiti, handsomely trimming his beard, rolling out almost unbelievably robust viewership numbers, but nobody thought he would summit this quickly.

Logan lives to surprise, though, and took to Instagram this morning to inspire with a black square reading, “Be aware of self talk & Fight with compassion.” A fine enough sentiment, to be sure, even though the meaning of “self talk” is not necessarily self evident. No matter, as the moment of victory came in the caption which read, “Self Talk is one of the most important things in your daily life. I wanted to share this segment from an interview I did with Ben Feder. Ben is one of the most accomplished business leaders of our time. “Be aware of Self Talk and FIGHT it with Compassion.” Currently, he’s the President of International Partnerships at Tencent and an acclaimed author. (Among many other things!) His book, “Take Off Your Shoes: One man’s journey from the boardroom to Bali and back is a must-read. People refer to this book as the business version of Eat, Pray, Love. (Highly recommended!).”

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And there we have it. Highly recommending the “business version of Eat, Pray, Love.”

Join surfers around the world today in celebration of this momentous accomplishment.

The full Goggans.

But who could have ever imagined that a small scuffle, occurring at the very beginning of 2018 between Stab magazine’s Ashton Goggans and BeachGrit’s Chas Smith on a podcast hosted by then single David Lee Scales, would have changed the course of sporting history?

Wild days.

As it was nearly five years ago, now, you may have forgotten the moment when the aforementioned Smith leapt across a reclaimed wooden coffee table at Goggans, who had been saying things he deemed uninformed into a microphone.

The two locked into a light embrace, which included some swaying, some high-pitched “hey man”s until broken up by Scales.

Childish and silly, Smith semi-regretted the encounter until receiving a call from the Orange County Sheriff Department informing him that Goggans was hoping to press assault charges. That he, himself, had called the law and attempted to really teach him a lesson by sending him to jail.

That put a right burr under Smith’s saddle and the rest, as they say, is history. A history, unfortunately, repeated days ago on the august gridiron when superstar wide receiver Davante Adams lightly shoved a sporting journalist after a tough loss to the Denver Broncos and was slapped with the law.

Per ESPN:

Raiders wide receiver Davante Adams has been charged with misdemeanor assault for shoving a credentialed media worker after Monday’s loss in Kansas City to the Chiefs.

Adams was cited for an “intentional, overt act” that inflicted “bodily injury,” according to court records released Wednesday.

The man shoved by Adams, identified by police as Ryan Zebley, suffered whiplash, a headache and a possible minor concussion from the incident, according to records. Zebley was working for ESPN’s Monday Night Football as a freelance photographer.

The charges were filed Wednesday morning in Municipal Court of Kansas City. Adams is due in court Nov. 10.

If convicted, Adams could face a jail term of up to six months or a fine of up to $1,000.

Goggansing, man.

Could this be it?

Can you, as a surf fan, take anymore? The wild highs, the depressing lows of this ongoing saga involving Gisele Bündchen, her estranged husband Tom Brady and one-time flame Kelly Slater? It is, truly, almost too much but surf fans are, if anything, steady in wanting, needing to see a reconciliation between the Brazilian supermodel and her surfing champion.

As you may, or may not, know, the two dated from 2005 through 2006 and very successfully. Bünchen appeared on many magazine covers and walked many runways. Slater won two of his eleven world titles. A power couple we had not since Madonna dated our Kaipo Guerrero in 1985.

Bündchen and Slater represented a second coming but life, in the form of a dashing quarterback, got in the way.

Hope, though, has bubbled through and surf fans have lit candles, riding the wild highs and depressing lows in the same manner we follow the big wave career of current champion Filipe Toledo.

Days ago, it appeared as if Bündchen sent a coded message to Slater by saging her car. Days after that she visited a faith healer. And now? Well, hours ago, life coach Jay Shetty took to Instagram and penned, “You can’t be in a committed relationship with someone who is inconsistent. Read that again.”

A fine sentiment that Bündchen responded to with a praying hands emoji.

And there has been no more consistent surfer than Kelly Slater what with his aforementioned eleven world titles and also general je ne sais quoi. The Pipeline Master rarely breaks surprises in his long-held positions. He doesn’t like flat earthers and never has. He does, on the other hand, enjoy golf and always has. He is skeptical of big pharma, environmentally conscious, doesn’t “go along with the crowd,” etc.

As solid as a stone.

Concordant.

Could this be it?

Is there anything else we can light besides candles?

Money where mouth is, please.

The new, kinder World Surf League rarely misses an opportunity to build awareness of various en vogue social issues. Much Instagram posting. Many references during professional surfing contests. More Instagram posting. Santa Monica has not shied away from draping itself with the shawl of “awake” and, most recently, published a fine piece celebrating its celebration of Indigenous Peoples Day.

Inspirational, though not to all.

Lauren Mattice, first year law student writing for the University of Southern California’s Daily Trojan, took the opportunity to excoriate the League for its empty performative dance, penning:

Surfing is one of those unique sports that has an integral connection to the land. In the past year, the World Surf League has used its international events as an opportunity to incorporate land acknowledgements into various tour spots, including Lower Trestles on Acjachemen land and Banzai Pipeline on the North Shore of O’ahu. At the WSL Finals this year, Kumeyaay educator Stan Rodriguez hosted a tule boat build, a demonstration wherein he used harvested materials to create an original California watercraft.

The WSL also hosts grant programs, panels and other events that showcase Indigenous engagement with the sport. These are moves primarily geared to shift narratives surrounding the use of Indigenous land by the surfing community. What these moves don’t do is take responsibility for — or at least grapple with — the richest of the surfing world moving onto Indigenous lands and exacerbating issues of socioeconomic inequality, houselessness and environmental displacement.

She pivots to surfing’s troubled history, evil white prospectors stealing Hawaii’s Sport of Kings, exporting it to coastal California, being naughty etc. before shifting to what the World Surf League should do if it actually cared.

If the World Surf League, or anyone in the surf community, really wanted to give back to Indigenous Peoples whose land was pulled out from under them to the former’s benefit, then land acknowledgment and donation can’t be the end. Returning the land, decommodifying it and investing in its recovery from the degradation it suffered while stolen — all while working with the consent of Indigenous Peoples — is the next step that should be lobbied for to truly honor the sport and its creators.

I very much agree that the WSL should, at the very least, return Trestles.

Final’s Day is yuck.