Could this be it?

Can you, as a surf fan, take anymore? The wild highs, the depressing lows of this ongoing saga involving Gisele Bündchen, her estranged husband Tom Brady and one-time flame Kelly Slater? It is, truly, almost too much but surf fans are, if anything, steady in wanting, needing to see a reconciliation between the Brazilian supermodel and her surfing champion.

As you may, or may not, know, the two dated from 2005 through 2006 and very successfully. Bünchen appeared on many magazine covers and walked many runways. Slater won two of his eleven world titles. A power couple we had not since Madonna dated our Kaipo Guerrero in 1985.

Bündchen and Slater represented a second coming but life, in the form of a dashing quarterback, got in the way.

Hope, though, has bubbled through and surf fans have lit candles, riding the wild highs and depressing lows in the same manner we follow the big wave career of current champion Filipe Toledo.

Days ago, it appeared as if Bündchen sent a coded message to Slater by saging her car. Days after that she visited a faith healer. And now? Well, hours ago, life coach Jay Shetty took to Instagram and penned, “You can’t be in a committed relationship with someone who is inconsistent. Read that again.”

A fine sentiment that Bündchen responded to with a praying hands emoji.

And there has been no more consistent surfer than Kelly Slater what with his aforementioned eleven world titles and also general je ne sais quoi. The Pipeline Master rarely breaks surprises in his long-held positions. He doesn’t like flat earthers and never has. He does, on the other hand, enjoy golf and always has. He is skeptical of big pharma, environmentally conscious, doesn’t “go along with the crowd,” etc.

As solid as a stone.

Concordant.

Could this be it?

Is there anything else we can light besides candles?

Money where mouth is, please.

The new, kinder World Surf League rarely misses an opportunity to build awareness of various en vogue social issues. Much Instagram posting. Many references during professional surfing contests. More Instagram posting. Santa Monica has not shied away from draping itself with the shawl of “awake” and, most recently, published a fine piece celebrating its celebration of Indigenous Peoples Day.

Inspirational, though not to all.

Lauren Mattice, first year law student writing for the University of Southern California’s Daily Trojan, took the opportunity to excoriate the League for its empty performative dance, penning:

Surfing is one of those unique sports that has an integral connection to the land. In the past year, the World Surf League has used its international events as an opportunity to incorporate land acknowledgements into various tour spots, including Lower Trestles on Acjachemen land and Banzai Pipeline on the North Shore of O’ahu. At the WSL Finals this year, Kumeyaay educator Stan Rodriguez hosted a tule boat build, a demonstration wherein he used harvested materials to create an original California watercraft.

The WSL also hosts grant programs, panels and other events that showcase Indigenous engagement with the sport. These are moves primarily geared to shift narratives surrounding the use of Indigenous land by the surfing community. What these moves don’t do is take responsibility for — or at least grapple with — the richest of the surfing world moving onto Indigenous lands and exacerbating issues of socioeconomic inequality, houselessness and environmental displacement.

She pivots to surfing’s troubled history, evil white prospectors stealing Hawaii’s Sport of Kings, exporting it to coastal California, being naughty etc. before shifting to what the World Surf League should do if it actually cared.

If the World Surf League, or anyone in the surf community, really wanted to give back to Indigenous Peoples whose land was pulled out from under them to the former’s benefit, then land acknowledgment and donation can’t be the end. Returning the land, decommodifying it and investing in its recovery from the degradation it suffered while stolen — all while working with the consent of Indigenous Peoples — is the next step that should be lobbied for to truly honor the sport and its creators.

I very much agree that the WSL should, at the very least, return Trestles.

Final’s Day is yuck.

Crazy Dayz.

What a week it has been. Exactly seven days ago, news broke that Tom Brady and his wife Gisele Bündchen had each hired divorce lawyers. The exceptional quarterback, who currently plays for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and the Brazilian supermodel had seemed the picture of happiness and success over the course of their decade-plus marriage but oh what we each don’t know, don’t see behind the closed doors of lives.

Apparently the two had been having issues for some years and the whole business unraveled after a “big fight” at the beginning of this year’s NFL season.

Surf fans around the globe immediately turned attention toward the the world’s greatest surfer, Kelly Slater, and a possible, glorious reunion. Slater and Bündchen had famously dated during 2005 – 2006, two of eleven championship years for the Boy from Cocoa Beach, and candles were lit for a rekindling.

“Things” have been extremely volatile since.

Hearts were sent soaring when Bündchen saged her car then crashed when Leonardo DiCaprio and Josh Hartnett emerged as possible competition. Up again when the one-time Vickie’s Hush-Hush model appeared to alter a tattoo to look like Slater to say nothing about her turn to faith healing, but, now, plunging again as Brady has re-emerged, publicly, sending a clear shot over Slater’s bow.

On a podcast interview hours ago, the seven-time Super Bowl winner declared:

There’s things I’m going through in my 40s and it’s life. And you learn to grow up and you learn to deal with life. And that’s what we’re all trying to do. We’re trying to do it the best way we can. I think you realize that there’s a lot, especially in today’s day and age, with how fast things are happening in life for all of us, and the amount of responsibilities we have. You wake up every day trying to do the best you can do, understanding that life has its stresses. And to deal with them with a great support system and understanding and having some introspectiveness in your life where you can look at yourself and say, “Where do I need to commit my time and energy to? And how can I lessen some of the stress and lessen the burden on me so that I can be good for people around me.” So those are all different things that I work at.

To repeatedly refer to Slater as a “thing” seems very calculated, very… pointed. Certainly a shot over the bow but how will the sitting Pipeline Pro respond to the slight? In a battle of GOATs, where would you side? I mean, as a surf fan obviously with Slater but who do you think would, could actually re-win Bündchen’s love?

Tom Brady has millions of dollars and lived in Derek Jeter’s house.

Kelly Slater knows pretty much everything.

Fingernails to nubs.

Touching too.

Yesterday marked Columbus Day, for some, Indigenous Day, for most, in these United States of America. A time to reflect on those who occupied these lands first, whose “new world” was across the sea in Europe. The World Surf League moved many by celebrating itself and its supporting of indigenous peoples on tour all year long in a powerful post that began:

Today, and every day, we honor and acknowledge Indigenous communities all over the world. This year, we have had the privilege to work with Indigenous communities across the globe. From California to Australia, Hawaii to Tahiti, we are committed to deepening these relationships globally and uplifting Indigenous voices. To learn more about how WSL is collaborating with Indigenous coastal stewards to shift culture read the article here.

The article pointed to everything the WSL did i.e. posting signs outside events acknowledging the original inhabitants and inviting tribal leaders to come to contests for blessings and other cultural performance for the viewing pleasure of professional surfers and sometimes professional surf fans.

Native plants were also planted by professional surfers but that may be a different component of goodwill that needs its own celebratory post.

Raise a sarsaparilla toward Santa Monica please.