Surf fans riding wild emotional wave break into lusty cheers as Giselle Bündchen appears to send coded message to Kelly Slater in wake of Tom Brady troubles!

Could this be it?

Can you, as a surf fan, take anymore? The wild highs, the depressing lows of this ongoing saga involving Gisele Bündchen, her estranged husband Tom Brady and one-time flame Kelly Slater? It is, truly, almost too much but surf fans are, if anything, steady in wanting, needing to see a reconciliation between the Brazilian supermodel and her surfing champion.

As you may, or may not, know, the two dated from 2005 through 2006 and very successfully. Bünchen appeared on many magazine covers and walked many runways. Slater won two of his eleven world titles. A power couple we had not since Madonna dated our Kaipo Guerrero in 1985.

Bündchen and Slater represented a second coming but life, in the form of a dashing quarterback, got in the way.

Hope, though, has bubbled through and surf fans have lit candles, riding the wild highs and depressing lows in the same manner we follow the big wave career of current champion Filipe Toledo.

Days ago, it appeared as if Bündchen sent a coded message to Slater by saging her car. Days after that she visited a faith healer. And now? Well, hours ago, life coach Jay Shetty took to Instagram and penned, “You can’t be in a committed relationship with someone who is inconsistent. Read that again.”

A fine sentiment that Bündchen responded to with a praying hands emoji.

And there has been no more consistent surfer than Kelly Slater what with his aforementioned eleven world titles and also general je ne sais quoi. The Pipeline Master rarely breaks surprises in his long-held positions. He doesn’t like flat earthers and never has. He does, on the other hand, enjoy golf and always has. He is skeptical of big pharma, environmentally conscious, doesn’t “go along with the crowd,” etc.

As solid as a stone.


Could this be it?

Is there anything else we can light besides candles?

University of Southern California student excoriates World Surf League for performative “Indigenous Peoples Day” celebration of itself, demands “returning and de-commodifying” stolen lands!

Money where mouth is, please.

The new, kinder World Surf League rarely misses an opportunity to build awareness of various en vogue social issues. Much Instagram posting. Many references during professional surfing contests. More Instagram posting. Santa Monica has not shied away from draping itself with the shawl of “awake” and, most recently, published a fine piece celebrating its celebration of Indigenous Peoples Day.

Inspirational, though not to all.

Lauren Mattice, first year law student writing for the University of Southern California’s Daily Trojan, took the opportunity to excoriate the League for its empty performative dance, penning:

Surfing is one of those unique sports that has an integral connection to the land. In the past year, the World Surf League has used its international events as an opportunity to incorporate land acknowledgements into various tour spots, including Lower Trestles on Acjachemen land and Banzai Pipeline on the North Shore of O’ahu. At the WSL Finals this year, Kumeyaay educator Stan Rodriguez hosted a tule boat build, a demonstration wherein he used harvested materials to create an original California watercraft.

The WSL also hosts grant programs, panels and other events that showcase Indigenous engagement with the sport. These are moves primarily geared to shift narratives surrounding the use of Indigenous land by the surfing community. What these moves don’t do is take responsibility for — or at least grapple with — the richest of the surfing world moving onto Indigenous lands and exacerbating issues of socioeconomic inequality, houselessness and environmental displacement.

She pivots to surfing’s troubled history, evil white prospectors stealing Hawaii’s Sport of Kings, exporting it to coastal California, being naughty etc. before shifting to what the World Surf League should do if it actually cared.

If the World Surf League, or anyone in the surf community, really wanted to give back to Indigenous Peoples whose land was pulled out from under them to the former’s benefit, then land acknowledgment and donation can’t be the end. Returning the land, decommodifying it and investing in its recovery from the degradation it suffered while stolen — all while working with the consent of Indigenous Peoples — is the next step that should be lobbied for to truly honor the sport and its creators.

I very much agree that the WSL should, at the very least, return Trestles.

Final’s Day is yuck.

Sexy as all hell surf explorers.

Legendary surf explorers Jack McCoy and Mike Ritter release raw drug-soaked tell-all surrounding the discovering of world’s most famous wave, “I hoped Grajagan would remain pristine. I thought visitors should come in by boat and leave not trace – like we did loading and offloading marijuana”

With surprise cameo from the CIA!

If you’re new to surfing, you might think it a fad in much the same manner as frisbees and “jogging” in the nineteen-seventies, a silly short-lived diversion from the misery and suffering of life, adored by celebrities and advertising.

Therefore the notion that surfing and the culture surrounding it used to be…wild… in its purest sense, might be difficult to get your head around.

A new book by the surf explorer and filmmaker Jack McCoy and fellow traveller Mike Ritter (who co-authored Thai Stick with BeachGrit favourite Petey Maguire), “Grajagan –Surfing in the Tiger’s Lair: 1972-1984”, takes the reader back into the magical world of secret waves, the smuggling of drugs to generate the money to chase these waves, and the spectre of death and madness that seemed to lurk around every corner.

More than that, it frames East Java in a historical context, briefly touches on nearby Bali’s insane bloodletting of 1965 and 1965 when 100,000 souls were murdered for suspected ties to the Commies, those first surfs at Uluwatu and paints a vivid picture of that most mythical of surf explorers and scammers Mike Boyum.

The main star, howevs, is Grajagan and all the construction of the world’s first surf camp.

A brief-ish excerpt.

Before Bob left the Madrigal to camp ashore he had asked Abdul to fill a 35mm film canister with cocaine. Abdul had just returned from South America with a supply of the powder. Inside the same film can Bob stuffed a row of windowpane LSD. Salt water must have leaked into the can, because when Bob opened the can the cocaine had turned into a paste.

The windowpane was coated with the stuff. Thinking nothing of the consequences, Bob wiped the strip of acid with his finger and smeared the paste on his gums. He soon became lost in a psychedelic journey revved up with cocaine and he retreated to his platform to be alone. Later that night a loud whirring sound alerted Bob’s stoned senses. Looking up he saw flashing bright lights directly overhead. A beam of light shone directly onto Chris and Barry sleeping on the jungle floor. Bob was sure he was seeing a flying saucer. He thought the beam of light was going to transport Chris and Barry into an alien spaceship. After a long breath-held moment, the flashing ceased and the whirring apparition disappeared.

The next morning Bob asked Chris and Barry if they had seen the UFO. “Nah,” said Barry, “it was a helicopter. Probably CIA.”

As unlikely as both Bob’s and Barry’s assumptions seem today, Barry might have been closer to the truth. During the 1960s Indonesia was a hotbed of cold-war activity. With support from Russia and China, the country almost became a communist state until the Indonesian army took control in 1965. The CIA backed the army. Perhaps a paranoid intelligence officer worried the surfers were insurgents attempting to establish a foothold on the desolate peninsula. Actually, they were.

It’s impossible to recommend this book more highly.

Australians can pre-order the regular volume, which costs $54.50 here, Americanos pay thirty-five bucks (click here), or if you wanna get real tricky pay $A150 for the collector’s edition, signed by the authors, limited run of 300, and with a leather cover, gilded edges and a ribbon marker.

Surf fans (left) attempting to glean advantage over Pete Davidson.
Surf fans (left) attempting to glean advantage over Pete Davidson.

Surf fans bite fingernails to nubs as star quarterback Tom Brady sends clear shot over Kelly Slater’s bow in increasingly dramatic estrangement from wife Gisele Bündchen!

Crazy Dayz.

What a week it has been. Exactly seven days ago, news broke that Tom Brady and his wife Gisele Bündchen had each hired divorce lawyers. The exceptional quarterback, who currently plays for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, and the Brazilian supermodel had seemed the picture of happiness and success over the course of their decade-plus marriage but oh what we each don’t know, don’t see behind the closed doors of lives.

Apparently the two had been having issues for some years and the whole business unraveled after a “big fight” at the beginning of this year’s NFL season.

Surf fans around the globe immediately turned attention toward the the world’s greatest surfer, Kelly Slater, and a possible, glorious reunion. Slater and Bündchen had famously dated during 2005 – 2006, two of eleven championship years for the Boy from Cocoa Beach, and candles were lit for a rekindling.

“Things” have been extremely volatile since.

Hearts were sent soaring when Bündchen saged her car then crashed when Leonardo DiCaprio and Josh Hartnett emerged as possible competition. Up again when the one-time Vickie’s Hush-Hush model appeared to alter a tattoo to look like Slater to say nothing about her turn to faith healing, but, now, plunging again as Brady has re-emerged, publicly, sending a clear shot over Slater’s bow.

On a podcast interview hours ago, the seven-time Super Bowl winner declared:

There’s things I’m going through in my 40s and it’s life. And you learn to grow up and you learn to deal with life. And that’s what we’re all trying to do. We’re trying to do it the best way we can. I think you realize that there’s a lot, especially in today’s day and age, with how fast things are happening in life for all of us, and the amount of responsibilities we have. You wake up every day trying to do the best you can do, understanding that life has its stresses. And to deal with them with a great support system and understanding and having some introspectiveness in your life where you can look at yourself and say, “Where do I need to commit my time and energy to? And how can I lessen some of the stress and lessen the burden on me so that I can be good for people around me.” So those are all different things that I work at.

To repeatedly refer to Slater as a “thing” seems very calculated, very… pointed. Certainly a shot over the bow but how will the sitting Pipeline Pro respond to the slight? In a battle of GOATs, where would you side? I mean, as a surf fan obviously with Slater but who do you think would, could actually re-win Bündchen’s love?

Tom Brady has millions of dollars and lived in Derek Jeter’s house.

Kelly Slater knows pretty much everything.

Fingernails to nubs.

In moving tribute, World Surf League celebrates itself for celebrating indigenous peoples on day dedicated to them!

Touching too.

Yesterday marked Columbus Day, for some, Indigenous Day, for most, in these United States of America. A time to reflect on those who occupied these lands first, whose “new world” was across the sea in Europe. The World Surf League moved many by celebrating itself and its supporting of indigenous peoples on tour all year long in a powerful post that began:

Today, and every day, we honor and acknowledge Indigenous communities all over the world. This year, we have had the privilege to work with Indigenous communities across the globe. From California to Australia, Hawaii to Tahiti, we are committed to deepening these relationships globally and uplifting Indigenous voices. To learn more about how WSL is collaborating with Indigenous coastal stewards to shift culture read the article here.

The article pointed to everything the WSL did i.e. posting signs outside events acknowledging the original inhabitants and inviting tribal leaders to come to contests for blessings and other cultural performance for the viewing pleasure of professional surfers and sometimes professional surf fans.

Native plants were also planted by professional surfers but that may be a different component of goodwill that needs its own celebratory post.

Raise a sarsaparilla toward Santa Monica please.