In miracle for impatient butt n boob connoisseurs, Surfer (The Girl) contest featuring scantily clad women who don’t surf winner announced!

Tyler Wright not saying anything. Busy reading ocean.

Surfer (The Girl). An event riding the coat tails of the once great Surfer magazine. Loosely formatted like a traditional Beauty Pageant, a selection of 18-25’s are judged and ranked online by their physical attributes whilst wearing bikinis.

Cheeks out, coy knowing smirks to camera.

Slightly more classy than the wet t-shirt bikini contests of the 80’s but nonetheless a return to a more simpler time pre 2000’s when Women left the adverts of Surfing magazines, ventured to a beach near you to walk half naked on poorly made stages. Men leering and cheering. Pro-surfers whacking three to the beach in the background, watched only by half the judging panel.

It was hard graft scrolling though bikini shots on Instagram but the search for truth and justice in this case transcended the grind.

And It would seem the winner of Surfer (The Girl) was crowned back in June.

Should we blame more shoddy surf journalism and a certain surf media outlet that has been accused of laziness in recent times for not picking up on this?

Maybe.

Or is it another example of just how capable the surf industry is of putting the blinders on unsuspecting doe-eyed surf journalists, numbed to controversy and criticism of their keepers after decades of boozy lunches and back slapping from low-tiered industry bottom feeders wielding company credit cards.

Rip Curl obviously under instruction from its first Woman CEO Brooke Farris has distanced itself from any ties to this brand smearing, cheap tit and arse fest and buried its association to the event into the darkest recesses of the internet.

One can only assume in the aftermath, a series of boardroom meetings were held.

Much finger pointing.

Tears.

Deep shameful sighs and ultimately… stoic self-reflection and a steadfast new direction for the brand.

Team Rip Curl jumped straight into damage control with a new series of positive, socially aware, feel good stories on its website.

Learning to read the ocean with Tyler Wright.

Offsetting carbon emissions through community and Country.

My personal favourite “Riding the wave of motherhood” featuring Team Rider Rosy Hodge, one of Rip Curls many strong female role models wearing stunningly practical, body positive swim attire, far removed from the tawdry promotional shots from Surfer (the Girl).

Sample:

What do you have to say to other women who want to surf whilst pregnant?

“If you feel comfortable doing it, then go for it! Listening to your body is the key. I learned so much about my body and myself by staying in the water. There are opinions and arguments against surfing while pregnant, but I think ultimately, it’s your decision and it’s about what you are comfortable with. My advice is to get a board with lots of volume that you can still have complete control over and just keep it mellow.”

Rip Curl quick to distance itself from any form of controversy after its last minute withdrawal of its substantial $500 gift card to the second place getter at the recent Surfer (The Girl} Bikini focused beauty pangent was very mindful to its readership of prepubescent grommets considering having children to seek professional medical advice.

“We would like to note that what works for one person may not be right for another and that this interview contains one person’s personal view. It is not medical advice. For this reason, it is important to speak with your doctor and seek professional medical advice before deciding to surf while pregnant or after childbirth”

Another story celebrates Rip Curls 30% improvement on its 2021 result in the Ethical Fashion report released by the Baptist World Aid

Kate Miller, Rip Curl’s Social Impact Specialist, says that:

The result reflects the significant investment the brand is making in transforming its business culture to a purpose-driven model. It also highlights a broader shift from a top-down approach to ethical sourcing, to knowing and collaborating with suppliers to drive positive social and environmental performance.

I was unable to find a statement from Rip Curls Social Impact Specialist about its involvement with the Surfer (The Girl) but must assume it’s still being carefully drafted.

Oh, and congratulaions of course to the winner of Surfer (The Girl) 2022 Ashlund Gardner!