Last remaining vestige of once-great Surfer Magazine bucks “woke” culture, returns to butts n boobs heyday by launching “Surfer (The Girl)” contest featuring scantily clad women who don’t actually surf!

What would Tyler Wright say?

The World Surf League (founded 2015 circa 1976) has gone all in on one thing, this past year, and it is not quality waves on tour. No, we are back to Surf Ranch, Lower Trestles, etc. for the upcoming 2023 season but it will be equal junk (save number of surfers) between men and women at each of the stops.

Equal prize money, equal opportunity, equal equal.

So equal, in fact, that tennis great Billie Jean King is said to, now, be aware of surfing in all of its equal glory.

Equality for the win.

For those new to the sport, this equal may seem natural but there was once a dark time (1980 – 2005) when the women were mostly expected to trot the stage in skimpy bikinis and “win” leering looks from men in the audience.

Decidedly un-chill but the last remaining vestige of once-great Surfer Magazine, Surfer (The Bar), has decided to revisit these troubled times by launching the Surfer (The Girl) contest.

The publication, which folded in 2020 after purchase by the aptly named David Pecker, had ambitiously launched a few watering holes one of which still exists in Jacksonville, Florida. And now we have that establishment launching a butts n boobs contest. None of the participants appear to actually surf, the hope for winning relying solely on physical assets.

A few are holding skateboards.

One a Golden Retriever.

But will hurry and place your vote? Click your tongue in disgust? Other?

It must be noted that Rip Curl is a major sponsor of the event.

What would Tyler Wright say?