A Halloween miracle!
All that candle lighting, it appears… is working! Not working perfectly, mind you, and it could be working much better, as I imagine some out there are yet to participate, their windowsills unwaxed, but let us, the tried-and-true, count our small victories this morning. Our inch-by-inch gains.
Namely, sports’ books have officially released odds on who Gisele Bündchen’s next boyfriend will be and our Kelly Slater is currently EIGHTH!
As you know, well, rumors began percolating early in the month that not all was well between the Brazilian supermodel and her then-husband Tom Brady. While the news, later confirmed, was sad, surf fans secretly hoped for a grand reunion between Bündchen and the world’s greatest surfer and began quietly lighting candles by windows for such. Hope sprang as she seemingly sent many signs to Slater, saging her car, visiting a faith healer, and the aforementioned surf fans began imagining, even seeing in minds’ eyes, the most handsome couple strolling various beaches hand in hand.
And now we have official odds.
According to betonline.com, the comedian Pete Davidson is the favorite to land Bündchen’s hand at +1200. The actor Jason Momoa is second at +1800 followed by Leonardo DiCaprio, John Mayer and Neymar all at +2000, Chris Evans and Bradley Cooper at +2500 and then our Kelly Slater at +3300.
Now, Davidson is a good bet, as well as Momoa, but I think we can rule out DiCaprio (Leo’s Law), John Mayer (Taylor Swift’s effective smear), and Neymar Jr. (Gabriel Medina). I don’t know much about Chris Evans or Bradley Cooper’s relative attractiveness, but nothing greater than Slater. Nothing a few extra lit candles can’t solve.
If you have yet to spark a flame, please do so now whilst on your way to your local bookie.
It’s Halloween, after all.