Emily Ratajkowski (left) with North County local.
Emily Ratajkowski (left) with North County local.

San Diego area surfers toast their rising stock as they live vicariously through famous first daughter Emily Ratajkowski and her red hot romance with Pete Davidson!

All for one and one for all!

When it was first reported that Emily Ratajkowski was becoming divorced from then-husband Sebastian Bear-McClard, San Diego area surfers became instantly and keenly interested in the drama. Ratajkowski, you see, hails from the quaint North County town of Encinitas, previously most famous for its subcontinental-inspired Self Realization Fellowship overlooking the aptly named “Swamis.”

The model/actor had been moved into the town as an infant and spent her youth going to various botanical gardens, likely eating tacos, trick-or-treating on Sandcastle Lane, sunning at Stone Steps, attending San Dieguito Academy High School before pursuing fame and fortune in New York.

She reached a certain level of fame, of course, pre and during marriage but her star absolutely exploded post. Initially rumored to be romantically involved with Brad Pitt, Encinitas locals, and especially local surfers, went rabid attempting to spot the couple at Kaito Sushi, Seaside Market, Leucadia Pizzeria (which is named after the neighboring hamlet but is actually in Encinitas). After those whispers were proven less than true, the selfsame locals imagined they could woo Ratajkowski themselves and return her to the home she no doubt loves. Alas, the world’s most desirable man Pete Davidson swooped in and now he and the Blurred Lines temptress have been pictured here, there, most recently courtside at a New York Knicks basketball game.

Initially saddened, the locals have rebounded and are now toasting their rising stock. Never before has an Encinitan or Leucadian or even Cardiff-by-the-Seacer been pictured sitting courtside at a New York Knicks basketball game, much less photographed. Never before has one of us captivated so grandviewly. And as is the way, here, one local’s success is every local’s success. Rob Machado’s 2000s Pipeline Masters as much mine as his.

How much higher can Ratajkowski fly? Pete Davidson is only a stepping stone, certainly, but who do locals want to see her with at the very end if not one of us?

The world’s greatest surfer Kelly Slater?

Sorry, he’s taken.

More as the story develops.

Open Thread: Comment Live Day One (for reals) of the Haleiwa Challenger where professional surfers cling to dream with fingernail nubs!

Better than World Cup soccer!

Artist rendering of Australian surfer/alien.
Artist rendering of Australian surfer/alien.

Australian surfers suddenly extremely wary of one another as esteemed Harvard scientist suggests meteor hit off Pacific coast may have actually been UFO!

Aliens in the lineup.

As if Australian lineups, and especially on the fatal east coast, were not dangerous enough. Slippery rocks lead to many waves which are crowded with sneering surfers, angry and snakey. Sharks swirl underneath waiting to grab feet already bleeding from slippery rocks and Dean Morrison.

Well, a very smart Ivy League scientist from the United States is suggesting something more ominous, more alien, may be lurking as well.

Namely, aliens.

Harvard professor Avi Loeb is convinced that a meteorite crashing off Snapper Rocks eight, or such, years ago was actually a UFO and has secured $2.2 million dollars to go prove the theory.

Per 7 News:

The meteorite crashed into the Pacific Ocean in 2014, about 160km off the coast of Australia’s near neighbour Papua New Guinea (but also Snapper Rocks etc.).

Loeb told Sunrise he believes the expedition may help answer questions about whether we are alone in the universe.

“The material of it is tougher than iron, based on the data, so the question is whether it’s just an unusual rock or perhaps a spacecraft from another civilisation,” he said.

According to the Science Times, the space rock is only the third known object of its kind to land on Earth.

But let’s discuss UFO’s for one moment. Has recent footage of fighter pilots spotting unexplainable phenomena changed your opinion? Have you always believed? Are you UFO curious?

Also, does a UFO crashing off Australia’s coast explain the end of the Association of Surfing Professionals and (1976 – 2014) and the birth of the World Surf League (2015 – present)?

Really ponder CEO Erik Logan for a moment.

Like, really.

Something to think about.

No birdies but waves on tap!

Developer hit with wild Deja Vu as it’s revealed second attempt at a Perth wave pool will bulldoze acres of endangered vegetation and habitat of “almost extinct” black cockatoo!

Are you team bird or team barrel?

Seven years ago, the former investment banker Andrew Ross announced a masterplan to dot Australia with a ten-pack of Wavegarden pools.

The first of the ten pools opened near Melbourne’s Tullamarine in 2019, to much celebration from that city’s wave-starved surfers. 

A second pool, which was going to be built in the Perth suburb of Alfred Cove and, importantly, a few hundred metres from my parents’ house, was shut down by the state government after local activists claimed bushland and marine reserves would be damaged. 

A few oldies also complained it might impact upon their access to the lawn bowls club there, which apparently carried a bit of sway.

Now, his next swing at a pool in Perth, this time at a bleak part of town called Jandakot, has hit a potentially fatal roadblock after it was revealed around thirteen acres of endangered vegetation would be bulldozed, putting the habitat of the almost extinct black cockatoo to the sword. 

You know black cockatoos? Noisy as all hell, but with a cute little button of white on their heads and with pink lining around the man-bird’s eyes. Ain’t nothing feels more Australian than sitting under a gum tree watching a flock of happy cockatoos heading to adventures unknown.

Anyway, The Environmental Protection Authority has opened the proposal to the public, asking whether or not it should “assess (the) proposal and, if so, what level of assessment is considered appropriate“.

The tank set-up looks pretty wild, elevated walkways around the pool, caravans around the perimeter mimicking Slater’s set-up at Surf Ranch and a sort of square semi-highrise overlooking the man-made masterpiece.

If you live in Perth, which makes Florida look like Oahu, you’ll be supplicating yourself to whatever gods you follow to get this thing made.

Left and right unite in rare display of solidarity as “Chad” attempts to publicly shame ridiculous looking surfer for poor parallel parking form!

"Stop touching me."

It goes without writing that we all live in extremely divided times. Left loathing right. Right loathing left. Camps within each loathing each other. Neighbor extremely suspicious of neighbor, friend cancelling friend, but all were miraculously brought together on this Cyber Monday, united by equal loathing for a ridiculous looking surfer and a “Chad” aiming to shame him.

But let us travel, together, to Newport Beach, California, or maybe Del Mar, where our scene unfolds in broad daylight. For here we witness a surf caricature, floppy blonde hair, sunglasses, attempting to parallel park a white older model Mercedes station wagon festooned with an orange longboard. The “Chad” pulls up, cellphone out and ready, declaring, “Ahhh, now you’re hitting cars, bro, come on,” in classic west coast whine.

The “surfer” flashes a peace sign and responds, “Get a job, Chad. Is that your name? Chad? Go and hit up some açaí berries.”

Surfer girlfriend, girl friend or wife then appears as Chad tries to warn her not to get hit, that “He’s hitting cars.”

She says, “Dude, I know who you are.” He says, “Stop touching me.”

And the whole business devolves from there.

The video, posted to Reddit, has only one tone in comments. That both antagonists are horribly annoying.

A sampling:

Guy in chubbies calling other guy Chad is peak Chad behavior.

I surf out front of this street daily. You don’t longboard here. Unless he’s gonna take the longggg walk to the pier, that board isn’t touching the water.

Pretty hard to take a guy calling you a chad seriously when he’s barely even wearing pants himself.

alk about the pot calling the kettle Chad, geez!

The video does raise a larger question, though. Is it ok to lightly tap bumpers when parking? My skill is so great at the parallel arts that it is unnecessary but I’ve always found it ok.

Happy Cyber Monday.