As cryptocurrency heavies mysteriously die one after another, surf fans worry “diamond handed” investor Kelly Slater in imminent danger!

No country for young men.

Those, here, interested in financial markets, stocks, bonds, etc. Those who listen somewhat regularly to Kai Ryssdal have certainly tracked the extraordinary rise and current fall of cryptocurrencies. What were once seen as “fake nerd monies” soared to the highest of heights before experiencing a real bummer of late. Fortunes disappearing. Fortunes and now, also, mysteriously heavies in the game.

Russian magnate Vyacheslav Taran, a young 53, died days ago in a helicopter crash whilst flying from Lausanne, Switzerland to Monaco. The weather was perfectly fine, clear as a bell, with an experienced pilot at the levers. Taran had made billions from cryptocurrency and became the third such heavy to die unexpectedly in a matter of weeks. Hong Kong cryptocurrency trading platform founder Tiantian Kullander, 30, “died in his sleep” on November 23 and Nikolai Mushegian, 29, who also co-founded a cryptocurrency trading platform, drowned in Puerto Rico after tweeting, “CIA and Mossad and pedo elite are running some kind of sex-trafficking entrapment blackmail ring out of Puerto Rico and Caribbean islands. They are going to frame me with a laptop planted by my ex [girlfriend] who was a spy. They will torture me to death.”

Surf fans have, immediately, turned their attention toward Kelly Slater and his well-being. The world’s greatest surfer, an 11x world champion, is a noted cryptocurrency player, savaging Elon Musk two-ish years back for refusing to take Bitcoin as payment for Teslas, writing, “I think Elon’s board and backers hate crypto and what it’s doing for the average investor and pressured him to put out a statement which they knew would inevitably tank bitcoin. I hope the SEC is taking a good look at this (and all of them who might be buying the dip today and this week in their private accounts). Interesting times. But Elon is bad for crypto.”

Slater has let it be known that he is a “diamond handed” investor in various cryptocurrencies but especially bitcoin, meaning he will not be cowed by market downturns etc. That he believes in his strategies and will hold firm come what may.

Surf fans hope beyond hope, though, that he will be sensible and that if he notices someone following him, say, wearing a trench coat and fedora or maybe sporting a creepy bowl haircut that he will not be too proud to sell low even if he bought high.

The World Surf League’s 2023 Championship Tour is just about to get underway and Slater is currently ranked fifteenth.

We need at least one more run at the crown.

Ke12y.