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"Dude, she's stuck under the log! What the fuck? Oh no! Someone needs to help her!" | Photo: @hawaiinewsreport

Chaotic scenes as 50,000 spectators flock to Waimea Bay during Eddie Invitational, sixty-four needing rescue, with a woman saved from certain death after almost being washed out to sea while stuck under a log, “Play stupid games, earn stupid prizes, bro!”

"That's so scary! She's stuck under that heavy-ass log!"

You didn’t have to look too far to find a little drama on the North Shore yesterday as spectators jammed every vantage point at Waimea Bay to watch the Eddie Invitational in building twenty-to-forty-foot surf.

Rescues, and there were sixty-four of ‘em as well as 10,500 warnings handed out by lifeguards, included a fourteen-year-old boy who lost consciousness after he fell ten feet out of a tree while trying to get a better view of the waves and the woman, below, who was filmed being dragged out to sea while holding onto a log.

Almost as wild as the event is the droll commentary.

“On no! Is there someone on that log,” says a woman. “She’s stuck on the log! Someone needs to help her! That was fucked up. She was stuck under that heavy-ass log.”

“What did I say? Play stupid games, earn stupid prizes, bro!” replies a man.

Slightly further afield near Pipe, a woman was sent to ER after being belted by a concrete barrier just behind the lifeguard tower and at a beachfront house nearby, a baby was washed under it after the joint was hit by a wave.

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Board Barnacle

Wasn’t the log lady in Twin Peaks?

J H

Yes!!!

Swell Direction

That bump on a log became a bump on a log.

Stick man

I got washed into a house once LoL … drunk as hell during a Hurricane on a raging high tide…rogue righthander breached the sea wall swept me off my feet and washed me into a brick foundation several yards back… totally helpless for a second or 2… laughing me arse off!! Good times.

Stick man

She shoulda stayed home and logged-on…

J H

Listening to the lifeguards yelling at the spectators brings back great memories.

Some of the best free entertainment on the island of Oahu.

Stick man

They straight-up roast people out at the bay… but hey… I get it!

J H

No wonder Kelly didn’t surf.

He was out there reclaiming his lifesaving title from Mikey Wright.

When asked about Kelly’s heroics Adriano D’Souza replied, in Portuguese, “fuck that stupid wavepool.”

Skippy

AdrianWho?

J H

Definitely not your 2015 world champ…

J H

Mikey is an actual hero and should do a Noah Deane-esque rant about fucking the WSL.

astro

In other breaking news a man who recently moved to an urban area was arrested for disturbing the peace. Local police received complaints after the new resident had a little known song by Kelly Slater on repeat.
“I’m goin crazy. The dog is howling, the cats scratching and clawing the curtains. My wife left me and now my truck died.” One long term resident complained.
Others reported similar woes.
The man will appear before the court on Wednesday 10am NZDST.

tim_nelsen

curious yellow. mellow. surf guitar. swimming lessons then play guitar, son. ocean will make a man outta u.

Tom

JMD would partner with the powerfish no?

Social Narcotics

Pretty tame tbh. The log I produced this morning was more scary than that.

Snowbored

Eddie would laugh.

Stick man

He’d be “rollin”

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

1800 comments on the live thread; now 5 articles post-contest, with at least 2 more to come…then Pipe. DR and Chas are drooling like Pavlov’s dogs.

J H

It has been fun, right?

Rocks local

already marginal work productivity has slowed to a crawl…hanging on by fingernails just hoping can make it through January still employed. But will always have BG…

tim_nelsen

sex wax and gloves are trending…

tim_nelsen

woman got the blues…for you!

@surfads

Joel Tudor says it’s called a transition era noserider, not a log

J H

And it’s all Slater’s fault.

Stick man

Stephen “Skippy” Slater… the youngest.

Tom

Maybe she was getting into the spirit and trying to shape a new board??

J H

“I’d like to introduce my new line of surfboards called Natural Selection™️.”

Stick man

…for the eternal ride!

J H

YES!!!

Perfect!!!

Stick man

Koa would/wood!

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins

Didn’t Chas’s book predict all this?

Stick man

“Cocaine and Surfing”? …totally!

Stick man

I kid. I joke. The other book very much soo.

tim_nelsen

you’ve got mail: two cards; one a hallmark, and a draft registration

tim_nelsen

essentially,

Andy C

This is Log’en

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
J H

I miss ABC’s Wide World of Sports.

tim_nelsen

thrills, spills, & chills…KK jumping off the lip replaces the downhill skier that gets snuffed.

Sean Connery

Fully clothed. Reminds me of when I see Mexican families at the beach.


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