"The bald look intimidates people. Short and nasty."

“King of the Waves” Julian Wilson debuts jaw-dropping “Mr Clean” look on Instagram, “Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough!”

“I had a Gollywog mop of beautiful right brown curls with sun-bleached tips. It’s hard to believe now, but I once had trouble running fingers or a brush through it.” 

The Australian Olympian Julian Wilson whose new multi-functional clothing brand Rivvia Projects has raised eyebrows with its tight poom-poom shorts and radically aggressive off-the-shoulder tees, has debuted his dramatic transformation from hirsute Prince Valiant to a wild looking Mr Clean on Instagram. 

&Ldquo;What&Rsquo;S Interesting Is A Man With No Facial Hair Is Less Intimidating Than A Man With Facial Hair, And A Man Who Is Bald Is More Intimidating Than A Man With Hair.&Rdquo;

After a brave decade-long fight, Wilson, who is thirty-four and a former world number two, threw in the towel on Friday, joining the ranks of bald surfers which include the greatest of all time, Kelly Slater, the Brazilian Jadson Andre, 2001 world champ CJ Hobgood, Nathan Hedge and Pipe Master Jake Paterson.

“I had a Gollywog mop of beautiful right brown curls with sun-bleached tips,” recalled Paterson some years back. “It’s hard to believe now, but I once had trouble running fingers or a brush through it.” 

With baldness comes a caveat, however. 

“Bald isn’t like being ethnic or disabled,” warned the critic AA Gill. “Everyone can and will make jokes about it and expect you to laugh good-naturedly, which you will.

Although,

“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair,” says Larry David. “But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.”

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
43 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
3 years ago

Creepy shot innit. Looks like he’s in the middle of banging the mrs.

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
3 years ago

Top of his head looks like the ball sack of a porn star when viewed from behind.

Steve French
Steve French
3 years ago

I think you’re watching your porn incorrectly. Or maybe that’s just what you’re into.

Board Barnacle
Board Barnacle
3 years ago

Is he on the run from somewhere or someone?

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago

He must have made a pact with himself. Lose the redbull hat. Lose the hair.

Gadoot
Gadoot
3 years ago
Disco
Disco
3 years ago

I would have put $50 on Owen shaving first.

channelbottom
channelbottom
3 years ago

Just own it.
Good on ya Julian.
I haven’t gone full razor, but the buzzer with no guard is good enough.

Disco
Disco
3 years ago
Reply to  channelbottom

Yep good on him. Go the razor though CB you’ll never look back.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
3 years ago

Fucking hell ! No wonder hes struggling to sell anything with a head like that, looks like a catcher mitt. Lucky he rooted all those hot chicks when he was a young buck. How the mighty have fallen

Gadoot
Gadoot
3 years ago

Looks like he’s been drinking and smoking cigs. Maybe it’s just the missing Puka shells

bob
bob
3 years ago

Should do a call in from Mikey

Kaipo's Coke Dealer
Kaipo's Coke Dealer
3 years ago

Where’s the open thread. GOAT in water

bob
bob
3 years ago

Where’s the comp thread ya dick suckers? Is Derek out tryin to pick up trannys in Bondi?

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
3 years ago
Reply to  bob

He had a bah mitzvah to attend.

bob
bob
3 years ago

I rocked the “sad hippy” recently, only cause I’m lazy, saves on sunscreen and little to no maintenance.

bob
bob
3 years ago

Sounds like your general life philosophy.

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
3 years ago

Here’s a photo from the BeachGrit staff party, showing off their long locks to folicaly challenged pro surfers
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
3 years ago
Ramathorn
Ramathorn
3 years ago

So good! Could have added in a touch of Andy Sipowicz to honour Owens 10 years of receding hair line

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
3 years ago

Trump hair looks the goods, Jules.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Gadoot
Gadoot
3 years ago
Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
3 years ago

Get this wig, Jules

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

you are a master.

Gadoot
Gadoot
3 years ago
Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

Man, how good are KVF’s rankings?

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
3 years ago

Ponytail would be amazing

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

Who will notice anyway?

Will he be in a cameo in a Tyler video?


43
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x