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"The bald look intimidates people. Short and nasty."

“King of the Waves” Julian Wilson debuts jaw-dropping “Mr Clean” look on Instagram, “Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough!”

“I had a Gollywog mop of beautiful right brown curls with sun-bleached tips. It’s hard to believe now, but I once had trouble running fingers or a brush through it.” 

The Australian Olympian Julian Wilson whose new multi-functional clothing brand Rivvia Projects has raised eyebrows with its tight poom-poom shorts and radically aggressive off-the-shoulder tees, has debuted his dramatic transformation from hirsute Prince Valiant to a wild looking Mr Clean on Instagram. 

&Ldquo;What&Rsquo;S Interesting Is A Man With No Facial Hair Is Less Intimidating Than A Man With Facial Hair, And A Man Who Is Bald Is More Intimidating Than A Man With Hair.&Rdquo;

After a brave decade-long fight, Wilson, who is thirty-four and a former world number two, threw in the towel on Friday, joining the ranks of bald surfers which include the greatest of all time, Kelly Slater, the Brazilian Jadson Andre, 2001 world champ CJ Hobgood, Nathan Hedge and Pipe Master Jake Paterson.

“I had a Gollywog mop of beautiful right brown curls with sun-bleached tips,” recalled Paterson some years back. “It’s hard to believe now, but I once had trouble running fingers or a brush through it.” 

With baldness comes a caveat, however. 

“Bald isn’t like being ethnic or disabled,” warned the critic AA Gill. “Everyone can and will make jokes about it and expect you to laugh good-naturedly, which you will.

Although,

“Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair,” says Larry David. “But a confident bald man – there’s your diamond in the rough.”

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43 Comments
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notsurfingtoday

Creepy shot innit. Looks like he’s in the middle of banging the mrs.

Low wide stinkbug stance

Top of his head looks like the ball sack of a porn star when viewed from behind.

Steve French

I think you’re watching your porn incorrectly. Or maybe that’s just what you’re into.

Board Barnacle

Is he on the run from somewhere or someone?

Sean Connery

He must have made a pact with himself. Lose the redbull hat. Lose the hair.

Gadoot
Disco

I would have put $50 on Owen shaving first.

channelbottom

Just own it.
Good on ya Julian.
I haven’t gone full razor, but the buzzer with no guard is good enough.

Disco

Yep good on him. Go the razor though CB you’ll never look back.

Sellme fitzgobbins

Fucking hell ! No wonder hes struggling to sell anything with a head like that, looks like a catcher mitt. Lucky he rooted all those hot chicks when he was a young buck. How the mighty have fallen

Gadoot

Looks like he’s been drinking and smoking cigs. Maybe it’s just the missing Puka shells

bob

Should do a call in from Mikey

Kaipo's Coke Dealer

Where’s the open thread. GOAT in water

bob

Where’s the comp thread ya dick suckers? Is Derek out tryin to pick up trannys in Bondi?

Low wide stinkbug stance

He had a bah mitzvah to attend.

bob

I rocked the “sad hippy” recently, only cause I’m lazy, saves on sunscreen and little to no maintenance.

bob

Sounds like your general life philosophy.

Beef & Beer

Here’s a photo from the BeachGrit staff party, showing off their long locks to folicaly challenged pro surfers
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Ramathorn

So good! Could have added in a touch of Andy Sipowicz to honour Owens 10 years of receding hair line

Pauly Matt War-Shore

Trump hair looks the goods, Jules.

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Gadoot
Pauly Matt War-Shore

Get this wig, Jules

https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Hippy

you are a master.

Gadoot
Hippy

Man, how good are KVF’s rankings?

Pauly Matt War-Shore

Ponytail would be amazing

Hippy

Who will notice anyway?

Will he be in a cameo in a Tyler video?


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