The nexus of kook and hypocrisy.

What topsy-turvy times we live in. All wild and upside down, or at least in these United States. Those on the left are busily attempting to erode free speech. Those on the right are actively attempting to undermine the FBI. And, most confusing of all, environmentally-conscious outdoor blogs are breathlessly promoting landfill-ready surfboards.

What?

Yes, fans of The Inertia woke this morning to quite a start. The surf-adjacent site which promises to “make a positive impact on our planet through partnerships with nonprofits working hard to preserve earth’s sacred places,” had joined forces with Wavestorm on a 10% off promotion when using the code AGTHEINERTIA10.

Per the announcement:

Wavestorm is one of the most recognized foam surfboard brands worldwide. Light weight, soft, and easy to handle, the 8ft Classic Longboard is one of the best selling learn-to-surf models in the market. Utilizing Wavestorm’s extensive manufacturing experience, the 8ft Classic surfboard has been upgraded for the Premium Surfboard to bring you the most advanced and innovative material compositions and component setup available. It offers a new look to the 8-footer with the extra 7.5” single fin in addition to the three classic 4.5” performance fin set. Use the single-fin setup for speed and drive and the three-fin setup for maneuverability options. You are bound to catch even the smallest of waves so even a bad day of surfing is a good day with one of these foamies. Add the Wavestorm 8ft Premium Surfboard to your quiver: whether you are a beginner or a seasoned pro, you’ll have a ton of fun out on the water. And that’s what surfing is all about.

Imagine selling a soul for a 10% discount.

Also, imagine thinking that surfing is “all about having a ton of fun out on the water.”

The Inertia… where kook meets hypocrisy.

Buy here!

Blood in the water.

Surfing is riven with various competing claims. Best boardshort, best wetsuit, best traction, best shark deterrent, best wax, best changing poncho, best bottle-opening sandal etc. though nobody, not one person and especially at the World Surf League Championship Tour level, has ever suggested anything other than John John Florence making the best waterproof jacket.

The multi-talented seaman, and 2x professional surfing champion, has charted his own course, charging various obscure waves, sailing the open Pacific, creating a line of outerwear that is as functional as it is functional.

Florence Marine X burst onto the scene as a pure reflection of John John’s true passions after his sponsor Hurley was sold to a beard oil outfit necessitating his abandonment. The Hawaiian prodigy left millions, likely, on the table to create outerwear that he actually needs. Warmth and dryth on the high seas.

And let us examine the Rain Pro 3-Layer Waterproof Shell (no relation to Albee). Promising a 10k rating with coated zippers, it is undeniable (buy here).

Except.

On-again-off-again Italian upstart Leonardo Fioravanti has just signed a deal with a French company that claims to make the waterproof shell “par excellence.”

“Proudly announcing our collaboration with @leofioravanti,” K-Way posted to Instagram. “Can’t wait to have fun and start this journey together.”

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A post shared by K-WAY (@kway_official)

A shaka emoji was added, for good measure, rubbing salt deep into Florence’s wound.

K-Way, born in Paris in 1965 and claiming to be the first windproof, waterproof jacket ever, have long been a “category leader” and while superiority may be true, challenging John John so directly, so… personally is certain to create friction.

Which leaves a most important question for you.

Team Florence Marine X or K-Way?

Let 'er burn!

Yesterday, the surf world thrilled as the “Bible of the Sport,” Surfer magazine, debuted an exciting “trending news” writer. Based in East Tennessee, Emily Morgan, ” a proud owner of a Pyrnesse-mix, her hiking partner, every time she hits a trail,” and enjoyer of “strong coffee, spicy food, and live music,” seemed to hit the ground sprinting, covering a proposed wave tank in Arizona.

An excerpt:

We have major news coming out of Arizona: a 37-acre surf park is about to hit the landlocked area of Phoenix, and no, we’re not joking. Thanks to @haileyfrances in a new TikTok, we got the low down on what to expect from the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory of surf parks. You’re going to want to take notes on this one, folks. The newly artificial ‘Cannon Beach’ will not only be a mecca for surfers who want to ditch airfare prices and stay local, but it will also offer an on-site hotel.

It was the first time since 1987 that Rick Kane did not appear in a story related to surfing and Arizona, marking a radical shift and defining a fresh tone.

Morgan followed up by dumping gasoline all over California’s Bay Area and tossing a match right into the mess. “When you think of San Francisco, surfing probably isn’t the first word that comes to mind,” she penned before brutally twisting the knife. “Although the city is known for its skate spots, this clip, posted by @hunterjones_, has changed our minds about the city’s potential for catching breaks.”

Boom.

Surfing “not the first word that comes to mind.” A flamethrower after my own heart? I remember, when I was getting my start, that I enjoyed kicking Puerto Rico in the guts. The Ultimate Surfer’s Alejandro Moreda and friends confronted me, at some point, and you can listen here to how that all went down.

In any case, I’m very curious as to what Ocean Beach etc. surfers are thinking about this cold-hearted slap. Will there be retribution? A petition signed n sent to Surfer demanding respect? A caravan out to East Tennessee led by Fort Point “dicks?”

Currently more questions than answers.