Like Oliver Twist.
Surf fans’ excitement surrounding the just-released tickets for the upcoming Surf Ranch Pro has not yet begun to abate, though a new worry is percolating just beneath the surface. As you know, the World Surf League Championship Tour heads to Lemoore, California after the Australian leg. Surfers who have survived the dreaded “mid-season cut” will be rewarded with a no expense paid trip to inland central California where they will be met with lousy weather and cow stink.
Surf fans, too, can join them and very exciting but also troubling for the finer print clearly demonstrates that the World Surf League is intent on participating in the now-frowned upon activity of “grom abuse.
Those “in the know” are certainly aware of the practice wherein surfing children are cuffed, dropped in upon, vigorously splashed in the lineup. The World Surf League, though, appears to be planning on moving that brand of injustice to land.
The Surf Ranch Pro ticket packages, you see, have both general admission and VIP varietals. The general admission comes in two sizes: Adult (18+) for $24.99 and Grom (-17) for $12.50. All fine and well…. except.
Groms are not allowed to be very important at a discounted price.
Per the League:
As a VIP, you’ll have access to elevated food options as well as the VIP-only bar. Stay comfortable with air-conditioned restrooms and enjoy the convenience of a VIP parking pass. Additionally, VIP ticket holders will receive a free custom hat at the WSL Official Store to remember your experience.
– VIP access to the event on Saturday May 27 and Sunday May 28.
– VIP space and lounge
– Elevated food options for purchase
– Access to VIP-only bar
– VIP-only air conditioned restrooms
– VIP parking pass
– Merchandise benefit: free custom hat at the WSL Official Store
– Note there is no Grom option for VIP. Children under 2 may accompany parents into the VIP area without a pass. Groms older than two must hold a VIP ticket.
Again, “Note there is no Grom option for VIP.”
No elevated food options. No air conditioned restrooms. No happy memories of the experience from a free custom hat unless that Grom shells out the full $499.00 plus $21.86 fee.
What sort of Grom is sitting on that kinda loot?
Extremely harsh.
Like Oliver Twist.
In other news, how do you feel about the World Surf League using “cool” talk like “Grom” in official correspondence?
Hang loose.
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let me bend you o’vr me knee son!
meet Dr. Danger….we’ll kill you later~
break all the god damn rules!
https://www.dumpaday.com/wp…
No one…and I mean no one…likes The Poors™️.
Wow..driving 2 hrs down to Bells next week doesn’t sound so bad now.
G ur the infield reporter!
Lol!
So, like, no Simmers, BLSJ, Pickles… they’re all grins right? Or am I just an old cunt? Ok, don’t answer that.
“Honey? Take me there or here or there!“
TrollJackmeoff…. brother, shorten your handle for gods sake please….. reminded me of something. Let’s call it profound.
The whole Elo nose bump with Jacko just fucking reeks “Ashton Goggains”.
Remem when Ash would cozy up real friendly to pro’s like he’s a bro. Overly friendly in an inappropriate, Metoo compromising way. Like rubbing the hot secretary’s shoulders as you look over her shoulder at her work. Awkward for everyone but Ashy.
He busted out the corporate plastic many times to get pros to hang out, their disdain for him was palpable and quite amusing.
Naive kid from the outback, never saw it coming.
The touching noses aspect has me wary.
Maybe he’s only attracted to Jack Robinson?
phew, I got my payment confirmation, but they are mailing the schedule of events with my VIP passes!!!
Wait, he’s supposed to be the singer in the late evening Kumbaya sing along at the campfire. ???
Now that is funny. VERY VERY funny.
Tule fog, event canceled!
break out the glow sticks and night vision goggles that’ll cost you extra…
THIS!!! How will Chas come back on slap at his wealth?
Will Elo reminisce about his youth and find himself frolicking in a Lemoore pasture with some steers just as he did back in Okieland? Maybe hold a mutton busting contest for the groms in between sets? So many options for country fun in Lemoore and the surrounding farms! Last but not least will Elo bring in Dwight Yoakam for a surfboi psychobilly concert just like he used to play in Bakersfield and of course at The Roxy…
I heard a GREAT Dwight Yokum cover just last night. “Fast as you”
Bob Bishop band, kicked ass.
take that party outside fellas…
One of my favorites by him! Check out his album Under the Covers as he does some wild covers on that one
“ELO go milk those cows for me and hop to it.”
Elo that is a steer, you can’t milk a steer!
and that is manure…you stepped in it and crushed a couple of edible caps. “EAT IT!”
or , oops, that’s not milk it’s,???????
Typical urban cowboy
Ever since Jackson Dorian took a shit in the hotub ,no groms allowed
What about eternal groms? Does this mean Strider won’t be allowed in?
Which trailer have you reserved? Will be so fun to meet you and share a pint or two hundred. I’m not taking a board, you? Anyways, see all you guys there. I’ll be the one in A/c’d bathroom while you guys piss behind the Eucalyptus trees. Think my VIP status will allow me to body surf some of the waves? Even whitewash, are we allowed to touch the water?
I’ll bring the shrooms fresh out of a cowpie in Lemoore!
Got plenty, keep your shoes clean or they won’t let you in the glamping area.
Good call!
Would be educational for the gromsas they would see and experience a white elephant.
“Udder filth that Cow farm.” -Trip Advisor