Malibu. Photo: @brother_marshall
Malibu. Photo: @brother_marshall

Fears grow that Malibu may become overexposed after Jay-Z and Beyoncé purchase “most expensive home ever sold in California” on beachfront bluff near First Point!

"You either surf or fight."

California has long been known as a land of the uber rich, famous, powerful. From Hollywood’s hills to San Francisco’s hills, Bel Air’s hills to San Diego’s hills, million dollar homes with billion dollar vistas are occupied by the aforementioned lighting Cuban cigars with $100 bills and toasting crystal goblets filled with Dom Perignon.

A fine life.

One of the most exclusive hills, generally guarded by a sense of decorum and hush hush vibes, is the one rising above Malibu and its pristine shore. The gentle climb from water’s edge to high vista is dotted with discreet mansions but maybe the veil of secrecy has finally been lifted.

Megastar power couple Jay-Z and Beyoncé, you see, just purchased a home right up from First Point that is, officially, the most expensive ever sold in California.

The $200 cement monolith, designed by architect master Tadao Ando, sits on an 8-acre bluff and boasts 30,000 feet of usable space. There is a pool, fine views and exclusive access to Billionaires’ Beach.

Exciting but with this new spotlight, the region’s surfers are becoming increasingly worried that their beloved and historical surf break may finally become overcrowded. Weekend mobs descended upon the wave as news of Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s new address, leaving locals kerflummoxed and befuddled. Longtime natives the Brothers Marshall posted a photo of the chaos, wondering if it was a sign of things to come.

Light a candle for Malibu surfers if you think of it, today.

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Black Rubber
Black Rubber
3 years ago

Malibu died many years ago

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago
Reply to  Black Rubber

’83, February

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago

And they didn’t even need to sell there $100 million dollar house in Bel Air.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

lesson learned? a fire ran thru the ‘hood..Paradise Cove was packed the next day…driving down the 805…king of the road…

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

mount on glass and shower your friends…using a baseball bat~

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
3 years ago

3ft days are brutal

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

I got 99 problems but the beach ain’t one!

channelbottom
channelbottom
3 years ago
Reply to  Stick man

You heard the ‘Grey Album’? Jay Z remixed by Dangermouse using The Beatles?

Highly recommended.

channelbottom
channelbottom
3 years ago

Bed, Bath and Beyonce.
Stocks tumbling. Buy now.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
3 years ago

Hes got 9.9 problems but a mortgage aint one

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

No can candle!

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
3 years ago

Jeff Bezos yacht cost 500 million

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago
Gil Gunderson
Gil Gunderson
3 years ago

Suspiciously quiet re Jonah atm…

Low wide stinkbug stance
Low wide stinkbug stance
3 years ago
Reply to  Gil Gunderson

Jonah gave them a cease and desist.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

1-800-flowers with a sarcastic note…”red roses for all you troll’s…”

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Gil Gunderson

still re’overin from snortin’ vitamin b-12 in Wolve’s of H-wood…malibu is a hell ov’a drug

Mapski
Mapski
3 years ago

Why is fat Dave Grohl not dropping in on the shoulder in that photo?

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
3 years ago
Reply to  Mapski

He is eyeing up helmet guy…common play at Valibu….

Mapski
Mapski
3 years ago

California knows how to party wave.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
3 years ago

Valibu! The loser wearing the helmet says it all….

Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
Derek Hynd's Missing Fins
3 years ago

Sunday Chas fuckup day. $200 = the most expensive CA home ever bought. Must be full of coffee tables that cost .01$ and are there to jump over.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
3 years ago

Pretty sure there are some ideally located cardboard boxes selling for more than that.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
3 years ago

Dumetown and ( J ) Z boyz

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

REvolution. $200 (000) (000)

With the National Weather Service issuing a “beach hazard statement”
and forecasters declaring waves in the 10 to 20 foot range, though,
there is great worry that VALs, kooks, sportos, motorheads, geeks,
sluts, bloods, wasteoids, dweebies and dickheads will see the fun being
had and attempt to join in (from an unnamed source name Chas) on this new communal living experiment…

Locals say: buy the ticket/take the ride or just park and pay for the ticket later…
Developers say: build a multilevel parking structure to accommodate more zillionaires…
City planners: need to widen PCH, the bike path for more public access…

Otto
Otto
3 years ago

$200 million?!
Man, that’s enough to pay reparations to one black person in California.
Jay-Z and Beyonce, you bastards.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Otto

the screwheads (a consortium of mostly native nationalities) that sued to reclaim Bruce’s Beach won, then immediately resold back to LA County.

in other repair news…take it away Dave:

https://youtu.be/N35uDX7jwjM

Otto
Otto
3 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

LA County knew that would be the outcome all along. It’s not as if the family descendants were going to be able to afford the property taxes.
LA County bought it for $20 Million. That’s a lot of capital gains and property transfer taxes hung around their neck.

Ami Lost
Ami Lost
3 years ago
Reply to  Otto

all parties agreed before anything was done or it wasn’t gonna happen at all

White privileged
White privileged
3 years ago
Reply to  tim_nelsen

I’m not a truck driver, I’m a surfer.I have enough retro fishes to last me and my family the rest of our lives!! I’m rich biatch!!


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