Bodyboarder feels the chilly breath of a surfboard on his neck!

Graphic: Legrope debate explodes after man almost dies at Californian big-wave hotspot The Wedge! “This surfer is lucky to be alive!”

Feel the chilly breath of the engine of slaughter upon your neck!

The ol’ leash-or-no-leash debate has exploded following the near-scalping of a bodyboarder at The Wedge, Newport Beach’s mutant cross-wave that takes a south swell hitting the rock wall and creates “a titanic slingshot that breaks with enough pounds per square inch to send Stone Cold Steve Austin to the mat.”

In a clip posted on YouTube shorts by the world’s most famous redhead Jamie O’Brien, an almost-forty-year-old vlogger from Pipeline Beach on Oahu, we see the bodyboarder going right against the prevailing traffic, before the axe of the dreaded engine of slaughter almost lands upon his neck; enough to feel its chilling breath.

Of course, the man being a bodyboarder fed into a long-held prejudice about riders of the little foam crafts.

“That’s not a surfer. Thats a boog.”

“Sponger. Not surfer. There’s a difference.”

“Less body boarders the better lol.”

“That’s not a surfer. He’s a bellyboarder.”

“That’s not a surfer, that’s a boogie boarder!”


Which begs the question, are bodyboarders people too and are therefore endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness?

Or no?

I think yes! Some of my best friends etc.

Conventional wisdom shockingly upended as new study suggests surfing actually good for those suffering traumatic brain injury!

Happy days are here again!

Months ago, professional surfing saw the official retirement of Owen Wright. The 33-year-old had, earlier, delighted his fans by releasing the “gut-wrenching, heroic” must-read memoir Against the Water in which he shared the story of suffering a traumatic brain injury whilst duck diving a wave in Hawaii, having to re-learn to walk, talk etc. and eventually winning bronze for his Australian home at surfing’s Olympic debut.

The massive damage done without actually receiving a knock on the head was a real wake up call to surfers around the world, though.

Is surfing, in any capacity, massively dangerous to the brain?

Conventional wisdom suggested “yes” but a new Welsh study undermines those very notions.

According to a neuro-rehabilitation program run by Swansea Bay and Hywel Dda University health boards, those who have suffered traumatic brain injury can actually improve their overall well-being by “immersing themselves in the dynamic elements of the, wind and sea.”

Per the academically rigorous yet fun The Conversation:

Some of our participants reported that surfing had taught them that all types of emotions – whether positive or negative – are an important part of the human experience. Instead of trying to control them, accepting them can help people find meaning in their lives.

Making room for difficult thoughts enabled some of our brain injury survivors to reconnect with their values and hobbies too. Surfing gave them meaning and a “valid reason for being alive”. It also showed them that “despite being a bit broken in some places,” they were still capable people. This helped them to renegotiate their identity.

Connecting with people in similar situations can also be crucial after brain injury. Many report that they don’t feel understood by family and friends. Yet belonging is a basic psychological need.

Happy days are here again.

Photo: Jaws
Photo: Jaws

15-year-old surfer who considered shark attacks a “joke” after seeing Jaws brutally mauled off coast of New Jersey!

Fate strikes.

Fate is a wily beast, man. It has a way of lulling folks like you, I, or a fifteen-year-old New Jersey girl into a worn out old rut. The sun comes up. The sun goes down. The hours in between are spent more or less the same. Scrolling news to find surf related stories, drinking a glass of refreshing Athletic Greens, scrolling some more, making an Americano, finding one, publishing it, looking at World Surf League Chief Executive Erik Logan’s Instagram, looking at World Surf League Sport Chief Jessi Miley-Dyer’s too, rinse, repeat.

The magic sorta drains away, you know? Surprise but an old folktale.


That’s when fate strikes.

Take the aforementioned teen, one Maggie Drozdowski who just so happened to be surfing in Stone Harbor with a friend when she felt… something.

“I felt something around my foot, and it pulled me down a little bit,” she told the local Fox News affiliate. “I shook my leg as hard as I could to get it off, but it just wouldn’t.”

Her friend, Sarah O’Donnell, said, “I went over the wave and she went under it, she screamed and I turned around because I thought she was drowning or something, but she got up and she said ‘I think something bit me.”

Something is right. A toothy, nasty shark.

Drozdowski was transported to a local hospital where she received not nearly as many stitches as she might have had she not been wearing a wetsuit, though she was still stunned the by encounter.

“I’m just in shock, I just thought that wouldn’t be something that would ever happen to me because I watched all the Jaws movies and stuff, and I thought it was a joke,” she concluded.

Fate, man. A cagey weirdo.

New Jersey officials, in any case, have not closed the beach but have warned surfers that they might be next.

The last unprovoked shark attack in New Jersey was in 2017.

BeachGrit’s gory years.

I meant glory years.

Kelly Slater lists “problematic and overly white” eighties film as second greatest of all time, “Anti-LGTBQ+ aspects, racism by omission, underage sex and abortion!”

“Moments that are no longer acceptable in modern society…”

The world’s greatest surfer, athlete if my opinion is to be weighed, Kelly Slater, has listed the eighties classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High as “one of my top 2 films of all time.” 

The film, which was built around Academy Award-winning writerCameron Crowe’s wild undercover experiences at Clairemont High School in San Diego, follows a bunch of kids as they navigate life, love, sex, drugs etc, Sean Penn’s Jeff Spicoli still the defining surfer stereotype.

However, many problematic themes and scenes, as Literate Ape’s Don Hall explains. 

In the first two minutes of the film, we see a high school guy tape a sign on the back of another guy that says “I Am A Homo” and later, Spicoli, in a dream sequence, as he has won the big surfing competition, calls his competitors “Fags.”

There are only two black characters in this thing: Charles Jefferson (Forest Whittaker) and his brother (known only in the credits as “Jefferson’s Brother”) This film is overwhelmingly white.

In the first twenty minutes, Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a fifteen year old mall worker, has sex in an abandoned baseball dugout with a twenty-six year old dude. She subsequently has sex with Damone in her parents’ pool room, gets pregnant, has an abortion by herself, and hides it all from her parents.

In the first twenty minutes, Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a fifteen year old mall worker, has sex in an abandoned baseball dugout with a twenty-six year old dude. She subsequently has sex with Damone in her parents’ pool room, gets pregnant, has an abortion by herself, and hides it all from her parents.

There is, of course, the Phoebe Cates fantasy sequence where Brad is caught masturbating to his mental image of her slo-mo coming out of the pool and pulling off her bikini top. 

So we have nods to anti-LGTBQ+ aspects, racism by omission, underage sex and abortion. Definitely a few moments that are no longer acceptable in modern society.

Heavy, yeah, and who knew!

But there’s a surprise twist, maybe not problematic at all! 

Read to end here! 

Photo: @Instagram
Photo: @Instagram

Wild environmental debate erupts after World Surf League CEO Erik Logan claims to have saved the earth: “This is virtue signaling at its best!”


Surf Ranch swings wide its wooden gates in just five days and I would have to imagine there is great joy in Santa Monica. Oh the event is the very least favorite on the World Surf League Championship Tour hated by surfers and surf fans alike and has been a critical failure with ticket prices slashed to near nothing in an attempt to have someone, anyone, come and watch.

Still, much happiness amongst the World Surf League chiefs as the patented Wall of Positive Noise™ grows stronger and stronger and stronger. So strong, in fact, and sturdy that not one ounce of criticism seeps in. A whole separate universe exists behind it. One where Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer has saved women and Chief of Executives Erik Logan has saved the earth.

In an Instagram message celebrating his great accomplishment of planting a plant, Logan stated, “One of the principles of the @wsl is sustainability. As a global community of surfers, we are working hard to make sure the ocean stays healthy. One way we do that is by replanting and honoring the land so fresh water flows back into the ocean. To be able to be a small part of something that will be here hundreds of years from now was an incredibly humbling experience.”

While many applauded, one loan critic lobbed a devastating insult asking for an offset of the wild amount of air travel the World Surf League creates along with the volume of single use surfboards and called the planting of a plant “virtue signaling at its best.”

The World Surf League Positive Brigade pounced, responding directly with the message, “Thanks for your comment! We are fully committed to our environmental initiatives and realize sport has the power to inspire, engage and set new trends globally. We aim to reduce first and then offset any unavoidable emissions and have been carbon neutral since 2018, including all Championship Tour staff and athlete travel, and have reduced emissions by 49% since our 2018 baseline. If interested, you can learn more at”

Unbent, the Negative Nelly responded, “Thanks for the reply however I don’t see a few plants make a difference. Good luck with your Winkipop viewing platform.”


But if you could, would you live in a world where you believed all of your own lies? Where you could live life one wave at a time whilst making your passion your life?

Me too.