Kelly Slater lists “problematic and overly
white” eighties film as second greatest of all time, “Anti-LGTBQ+
aspects, racism by omission, underage sex and abortion!”
By Derek Rielly
“Moments that are no longer acceptable in modern
society…”
The world’s greatest surfer,athlete if my opinion is to be
weighed, Kelly Slater, has listed the eighties classic Fast
Times at Ridgemont High as “one of my top 2 films of all
time.”
The film, which was built around Academy Award-winning
writerCameron Crowe’s wild undercover experiences at Clairemont
High School in San Diego, follows a bunch of kids as they navigate
life, love, sex, drugs etc, Sean Penn’s Jeff Spicoli still the
defining surfer stereotype.
However, many problematic themes and scenes, as Literate Ape’s
Don Hall explains.
In the first two minutes of the film, we see a high school
guy tape a sign on the back of another guy that says “I Am A Homo”
and later, Spicoli, in a dream sequence, as he has won the big
surfing competition, calls his competitors “Fags.”
There are only two black characters in this thing: Charles
Jefferson (Forest Whittaker) and his brother (known only in the
credits as “Jefferson’s Brother”) This film is overwhelmingly
white.
In the first twenty minutes, Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a
fifteen year old mall worker, has sex in an abandoned baseball
dugout with a twenty-six year old dude. She subsequently has sex
with Damone in her parents’ pool room, gets pregnant, has an
abortion by herself, and hides it all from her parents.
In the first twenty minutes, Stacy (Jennifer Jason Leigh), a
fifteen year old mall worker, has sex in an abandoned baseball
dugout with a twenty-six year old dude. She subsequently has sex
with Damone in her parents’ pool room, gets pregnant, has an
abortion by herself, and hides it all from her parents.
There is, of course, the Phoebe Cates fantasy sequence where
Brad is caught masturbating to his mental image of her slo-mo
coming out of the pool and pulling off her bikini
top.
So we have nods to anti-LGTBQ+ aspects, racism by omission,
underage sex and abortion. Definitely a few moments that are no
longer acceptable in modern society.
Wild environmental debate erupts after
World Surf League CEO Erik Logan claims to have saved the earth:
“This is virtue signaling at its best!”
By Chas Smith
THE MOMENTUM IS REAL.
Surf Ranch swings wide its wooden gates in just
five days and I would have to imagine there is great joy in Santa
Monica. Oh the event is the very least favorite on the World Surf
League Championship Tour hated by surfers and surf fans alike and
has been a critical failure with ticket prices slashed to near
nothing in an attempt to have someone, anyone, come and watch.
Still, much happiness amongst the World Surf League chiefs as
the patented Wall of Positive Noise™ grows stronger and stronger
and stronger. So strong, in fact, and sturdy that not one ounce of
criticism seeps in. A whole separate universe exists behind it. One
where Chief of Sport Jessi Miley-Dyer has saved women and Chief of
Executives Erik Logan has saved the earth.
In an Instagram message celebrating his
great accomplishment of planting a plant, Logan
stated, “One of the principles of the @wsl is sustainability. As a
global community of surfers, we are working hard to make sure the
ocean stays healthy. One way we do that is by replanting and
honoring the land so fresh water flows back into the ocean. To be
able to be a small part of something that will be here hundreds of
years from now was an incredibly humbling experience.”
While many applauded, one loan critic lobbed a devastating
insult asking for an offset of the wild amount of air travel the
World Surf League creates along with the volume of single use
surfboards and called the planting of a plant “virtue signaling at
its best.”
The World Surf League Positive Brigade pounced, responding
directly with the message, “Thanks for your comment! We are fully
committed to our environmental initiatives and realize sport has
the power to inspire, engage and set new trends globally. We aim to
reduce first and then offset any unavoidable emissions and have
been carbon neutral since 2018, including all Championship Tour
staff and athlete travel, and have reduced emissions by 49% since
our 2018 baseline. If interested, you can learn more at
wsloneocean.org.”
Unbent, the Negative Nelly responded, “Thanks for the reply
however I don’t see a few plants make a difference. Good luck with
your Winkipop viewing platform.”
Ouch.
But if you could, would you live in a world where you believed
all of your own lies? Where you could live life one wave at a time
whilst making your passion your life?
Me too.
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Larry Bertlemann, left, and four-time world
champ Mark Richards, who'd later refine his single-fin Aipa Stings
into a winged twin which, as fate would play it, would be
reimagined and re-released by Lost decades later. "A full circle,"
says Duke.
World-first surfboard design that changed
the sport in 1975 and made surfing “explosive” returns in
much-anticipated collaboration!
By Derek Rielly
"It was one of the biggest bangs in surfing there
ever was!"
Can you believe it’s been two years since the legendary
Hawaiian shaper Ben Aipa, a man so fierce-looking Gerry Lopez
described him thus, “When you see Ben coming, don’t think,
just get out of the way” died of multiple illnesses?
Ben, who was seventy-eight, had heart issues, diabetes, dementia
and had been hit by myriad strokes.
But what he left behind, apart from two fine sons, Duke and
Akila, two arch-craftsman whose own boards are prized by shredders
as well as collectors, was a design legacy that sits there in the
pantheon alongside Simon Anderson’s thruster.
Y’see, in 1971 Ben invented the swallow tail, or at least
refined the early work of Tom Blake and Bob Simmons, his team
riders Larry Bertlemann and Michael Ho riding ‘em to such acclaim
in a mainland contest by day two of the event the other competitors
were cutting swallows into their boards and duck-taping up their
mutilated crafts.
That’s design breakthrough one, but not what we came here for.
‘Cause, landing in stores around about now, is a design collab
between Duke Aipa and Matt Biolos, Aipa-powered Losts.
A couple of years after the swallow, in 1974, Ben was at a boat
race in Hawaii and watched fascinated as a speed boat with a
hydroplane hull gave hell to the other boats. Instead of slowing to
turn, it would accelerate through the turn, keeping its momentum.
Ben was so inspired he spoke to the drivers, learned about its wing
and headed straight to the shaping bay.
“My Dad’s process,” says his son Duke, who is forty eight, “is
he would finish a blank top and bottom before cutting the outline,
rough shape the top, finish shape the bottom. This day he etched in
the arc of the wing a third of the way up on one of these almost
finished blanks, like a hydro-plane speed boat. He got it under
Larry Bertlemann’s feet at Lighthouse in Diamond Head, walked up
the hill to get a vantage point to watch and saw that the cut-out
allowed the board to react faster. In single fins, the reaction is
limited but the wing did the same thing for the surfboard as the
hydro-plane boat, it released and pivoted faster.”
Ben was spellbound.
“Larry’s stinging the wave,” he said to himself.
And, so, the Sting, which was later bastardised to stinger by
third-parties copying the design, was born.
In the winter of 74/75, Mark Liddell and Buttons Kaluhiokalani
were photographed by Warren Bolster standing on the rocks at
Kaisers, both holding Aipa stings, Buttons’ sled emblazoned with
flames.
By the time the shot made it on the cover of Surfer it was 1976
and the design exploded.
Who didn’t want a board with flames and an Aipa sting?
The sting got toned down as boards shifted to two and three
fins, the massive cut-out turned into a little wing near the tail,
but the wing lived on.
And, now, “my goal is to see the Sting become a secret weapon on
the CT as the ultimate homage to my father,” says Duke.
In 2020, when I heard that Ben was sick, I’d called his other
son Akila who grew up with a front-row seat to the North Shore,
with his famous, and famously loved Dad. A rare soul connected to
surfing’s cultural continuum.
“Yeah, man, well, everyone knows him for his Sting but his
greatest contribution was how long he shaped for, how consistent he
was, the attention to craftsmanship… there was a level of integrity
in his boards for sixty years,” said Akila. “For my brother and I
there’s a sense of pride in how we build boards. We carry on the
tradition.”
Duke feels it.
“The thing I’m most excited about is it gives us the opportunity
to include some surf history into a mainstream popular brand. It
ushered in a whole era, a whole movement, it allowed Mark Richards,
Mark Liddell, Buttons, Dane Kealoha and Larry Bertlemann to push
surfing to another level. It was one of the biggest bangs in
performance surfing there ever was. When the Sting came, that’s
when guys were going crash, bang, getting experimental, doing
carving 360s. Carving 360s! In 1974! On a single fin! I want young
people to understand part of their history, because, for surfing,
our culture is everything. We’re at a point in surfing where it
could potentially get watered down very fast. Wavepools, surfing in
the Olympics, all good things, but there’s also a possibility to
lose some culture. It’s more than a cool design collaboration.
We’re re-making history! It’s going to go viral one more time!”
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Fears grow that Malibu may become
overexposed after Jay-Z and Beyoncé purchase “most expensive home
ever sold in California” on beachfront bluff near First Point!
By Chas Smith
"You either surf or fight."
California has long been known as a land of the uber
rich, famous, powerful. From Hollywood’s hills to San
Francisco’s hills, Bel Air’s hills to San Diego’s hills, million
dollar homes with billion dollar vistas are occupied by the
aforementioned lighting Cuban cigars with $100 bills and toasting
crystal goblets filled with Dom Perignon.
A fine life.
One of the most exclusive hills, generally guarded by a sense of
decorum and hush hush vibes, is the one rising above Malibu and its
pristine shore. The gentle climb from water’s edge to high vista is
dotted with discreet mansions but maybe the veil of secrecy has
finally been lifted.
Megastar power couple Jay-Z and Beyoncé, you see, just purchased
a home right up from First Point that is, officially, the most
expensive ever sold in California.
The $200 cement monolith, designed by architect master Tadao
Ando, sits on an 8-acre bluff and boasts 30,000 feet of usable
space. There is a pool, fine views and exclusive access to
Billionaires’ Beach.
Exciting but with this new spotlight, the region’s surfers are
becoming increasingly worried that their beloved and historical
surf break may finally become overcrowded. Weekend mobs descended
upon the wave as news of Jay-Z and Beyoncé’s new address, leaving
locals kerflummoxed and befuddled. Longtime natives the Brothers
Marshall posted a photo of the chaos, wondering if it was a sign of
things to come.
Light a candle for Malibu surfers if you think of it, today.
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Surf fans grow increasingly concerned as
former champion Italo Ferreira transforms into freakish Marvel
Cinematic Universe-esque incredible hulk!
By Chas Smith
Thunder down under.
2019’s World Surf League champion Italo
Ferreira is, deservedly, much loved by the general surf
enjoying population. His origin story, learning this Sport of Kings
on an esky (or Igloo) lid, his effervescent personality, his
ridiculous ability, desire to charge have earned him a place of
honor in many hearts from the United States to Australia.
Though with robust appreciation comes many eyes and much
attention.