"He got caught in an Ezekiel and I waited, but he didn’t fight back."
Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg, whose pivot to combat sports from surfing is by now well known, was lambasted on these pages yesterday for an apparent temper tantrum following his loss in a jiujitsu contest.
(Zuckerberg claimed gold in the no-gi div and silver in the gi.)
New evidence has emerged, however, that Zuck took his L with grace, the referee brown belt Lucas Costa telling Bloody Elbow,
“There was no argument. It was in Gi and he got choked out. That was the video you saw. I stopped it and he wanted to check with me about why I stopped it. He didn’t know what was happening, which was one of the reasons I stopped it. But he had started to snore and the rule set says that snoring is a version of a verbal tap…
“I was paying a lot of attention. I was paying even more attention because it was Mark. He got caught in an Ezekiel and I waited, but he didn’t fight back. And I was waiting, but on the third snore I had to stop the fight. He was very polite but he wanted to know how the rules work.”
An Ezekiel from someone’s closed guard, oowee, it’s a last-minute hail mary. Click here for deets.
On the Joe Rogan podcast, the black belt comedian and broadcaster described Zuckerberg as a “fucking savage… Imagine you’re right about to compete in like maybe your first competition. ‘Well just give it a try. I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen?’ Worst thing that could happen — you get strangled by a super-nerd in front of the whole world.”
Costa was also relatively complimentary of white belt Zuck’s skills,
“I was impressed… He seemed like a normal guy. Looked me in the eye, gave me a firm handshake and an even bigger surprise was that he fights well…He goes forward a lot. He attacks more,” although Costa did add the caveat, “With very little defence.”
Who needs defence?
Who do you wanna be, the marauding killer, an entertainer, or the ass-scooting staller, accumulating points in your purse?
Commented on Disqus? Log out, tap the Disqus button, and your old name and comments come back. The box is ours.
Your comments are still here. Every one of them.
Twelve years of BeachGrit comments came across from Disqus. Connect and we will show you how many are yours. We get your username, nothing else.
Connect Disqus to reveal.
“It was in Gi and he got choked out”… “He got caught in an Ezekiel”… Assuming that translates to “grown men rolling around on a mat together”?
I had a couple buddy’s going out of town to a concert and getting a hotel room for the night. Before they left I told them to remember that even if you go head to toe your still crossing swords. They never told me if they got a king or two queens.
#GrappleGrit
Martial arts: the last safe space for losers to have a circle jerk and self validate.
If you recognised I had forgotten I’d already snarked this piece of candyfloss (see below) then dix points to you, but I wear my shame on my tshirt. Time for a top up.
Martial arts was cool for a couple of years after the karate kid and has been pretty fucking annoying ever since. Why dudes older than 12 take an interest in it is beyond my (fairly limited, quite myopic, selfish) powers of percecption. But if you want to wear a dressing gown and grapple with similarly limited individuals, you do youse.
Martial Arts has developed into a real fighting system with the growth of MMA. At the same time many traditional martial arts have been exposed as fairly ineffective in real world situations.
And mattresses
true environment…sardines?
2019 headlines:
Chas Smith (left) and Derek O’Reilly celebrate being #1.
Chris Cote declares: “BeachGrit is the Fox News of surf media and Chas Smith is Tucker Carlson!”
By Chas Smith
fast fwd: 2 months ago
“The Most Trusted Name in News.”
Tucker Carlson? Are you serious? Tucker Carlson
“are we men or our we devo?”
Chris…come write for us…
Fuck off, Chris.
Signed: A Friend
oingo boingo played the libby bowl just up the street…there, a lodi buddy phoned me so i could hear dead man’s party. hung up and played it on vinyl! fucking black-eyed, 60s glasses square-rimmed nerd…
Kauai Boy as why
So is ‘Brazilian’ Jiu Jitsu the fully fledged double penetration one with close ups?
If it is 5ft /offshore anywhere in the world, u could get there quick no friction. But u want to roll wit ya buddies….
Probably hops on the gulfstream after the match and gets the morning glass.
Ol’ Zuckster had a classic case of the Ralphie’s.
Super nerd. Moves forward a lot. Attacks more. With very little defense. Very polite.
Jonah rules surfing
And also rules Jewjitsu
Zuck is just a clown
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Vale Jonah Lomu, no mere pretender to the name like weirdy beardy. I’m not much a fan of rugby but Lomu was exciting to watch. Having had the unfortunate experience of trying to play touch rugby against the Maori and islander dudes in London my conclusion is that they just move quicker and are incapable of being caught.
Marauding ass-scooting killer