Localism enforced!
Surfer Magazine’s corpse, exhumed months ago and poked back to life with a dirty stick, has been off to a stumbling start. There was the initial hiring of Emily Morgan as the “trending news” correspondent. She resided in a small town nestled at the foothills of the Smoky Mountains in East Tennessee, was also a proud owner of a Pyrnesse-mix, which just so happened to be her her hiking partner every time she hit a trail and enjoyed strong coffee, spicy food, and live music.
And while the match might have seemed perfect, covering a largely coastal pastime from hiking trails in the middle of America, Morgan was quickly and quietly let go only to be replaced by a team of writers who churn out such kooky nonsense that it makes Tom Sandoval versus Gerry Lopez feel legitimate and core.
Take this latest offering.
In a post about seasonal violence at Snapper, the “Bible of the Sport” declared, “Localism Enforced During Pumping Surf at Snapper Rocks.
Localism enforced?
Localism enforced?
What sort of ChatGPT is that?
I’ve never, not once, read about localism being “enforced” in all my days. The title could have read “Localism rears its bloody head…” or “Savagery consumes…” or “World’s Greatest surfer Kelly Slater sparks melee…
I’m assuming Slater is there because he is surfing in the Gold Coast Pro, no? I can’t seem to find the heat draw.
Well, in any case, none of that happens anyhow. The video proof of “localism” being “enforced” is simply a montage of some goof in a springer repeatedly dropping in and mangling the wave.
Enjoy.
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How many heads does Koa Rothman have?
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Dashel PiersonMay 5, 2023 3:03 PM EDT
not yet~
We need more surfcams, all pointed at snapper, rock cam, underwater cam, palm tree cam, sand cam. carpark cam.
The more surfers at snapper the better, leaves the better spots to the rest of us.
You ever have to deal one out? Or, what was the worst beating you saw, and given by whom?
What percentage of ‘enforcers’ yelling & snarling & banging rails & making threats actually pull it on in the car park with the same enthusiasm as they do in the water with their boys about..
Bring out the gimp
DAVE HILTON SIRFBOARDS
go at night with some moonshine, both kinds brah, get plenty waves and plenty hammered
Snaking is the rule not the exception. When a spot is over crowded I just move to the next one.
Malloy
Must have been tough…
Ran into Mike today…
At the liquor store…
He bought his usual twelve pack…light
I bought my six…banquet beer…Coors…
“Malloy…”
“Hey, I know you…”
His eyes saw mine…
“How have you been?” He asked me…
I’ve been fine…
“Got the ranch?”
“Still got it…”
“How the hell are the boys/”
“Doin’ just fine…”
“How are your girls?”
“Prettier than puddin’…”
“Still mixing it up, Mike?”
Not at Faria…
Great…
My girls are safe…
GOT SHEEP? OR WOOL AT LEAST?
Watched this asshole in green boardies repeatedly burn folk.. what a clown. Don’t give a shit if he’s a local, he needs some facial panel beating.
Chas you gotta let go of this angst about surfer mag.
That article had over 300 comments. How many will this article have?
A brief google shows me that dashel pierson is a real person, and – amazingly – actually has a journalism degree.
There’s hope for you yet!
I am only here to preserve the soul of surfing, dear Stinkbug.
What a shit show surfing the gold coast (east coast?) Is .
Listening to the grit and David and the fill in guy were writing off and having a dig at surfing in Australia , maybe they just went to the Goldy or Sydney I wager ? Talking about backpaddling and snaking as being part of surfing in Aus . Go fuck yourselves fellas , don’t confuse Queensland fuckwit surfing to how it is in the southern states and WA
As for goofy in this video , what a cunt
ride out on the catamaran
Great thing about BG is I can be 100% lazy-snarky. Kick back and let the boys bring the lolz to us.
The heat draw is up now and Slater is in the 12th heat 2nd round
Fuckin’ hell
Looks like the general standard of surfing on the Goldy has dropped in the last 30 yrs.
Or were all the good surfers elsewhere that day ?
Kooks dropping in on kooks by the looks, and as far as that clown on his backhand goes, he needs even more of a good old fashioned enforcing than the others, though in saying that, all those lemons need to be enforced.
Where are the enforcers these days ?
Just why are all these guys skill level so poor ?
Isn’t the Goldy meant to have heaps of rippers ?
It used to…
The enforcers carry cameras rather than balled fists these days
Wasn’t one of those dudes Occ?
Yip
Wearing a spring suit = do whatever you want in the line-up.
I never knew! Getting a bit cold around these parts, but I guess getting non-stop waves will keep me warm.
Surfing eating itself. As bad as the hordes of soft tops in Europe. Thank fuck we have the twin deterrents of crime and sharks in South Africa.
Fact? The last bastion of localism resides in the French Polynesian reef pass of …………..?
And Seaside Oregon, but if you have enough Meth to share you’ll be fine.
At Seaside the most stinkeye and lip came from a transplant moke from Hawaii.
In seaside I have seen plenty of people put in the hospital and with permanent brain damage. Also a certain west side of an outer island of Hawaii still has cracks being doled out for bad surfing etiquette and even not cleaning up after your dog. If the cops are your uncles and cousins, these last bastions of localism are still in full effect.
That’s your job, my dude.
Don & Dusted!
OR CROSSWORD PUZZLES/