"You'd never expect these guys to be able to take you down. Next thing you know, they're attacking you with these extremely technical moves."
The combat sports world is euphoric following Mark Zuckerberg’s domination of a jiujitsu contest where the Facebook founder and part-owner of Instagram won gold and silver medals competing in the Gi and non-Gi divisions.
Alongside stirring images from his day of glory, which included submissions via two of the sports most vicious movies, the carotid artery squashing guillotine and shoulder snapping Kimura,
Zuck wrote:
Competed in my first jiu jitsu tournament and won some medals 🥇🥈 for the Guerrilla Jiu Jitsu team. Thanks to @davecamarillo @khaiwu @intense0ne for training me!
View this post on Instagram
A who’s who of the fight world were quick to dive into Zuck’s comments, including UFC champs Brandon Moreno, Alex Volkanovski and Izzy Adesanya, although the fight itself seemed to flush Zuckerberg, shot five revealing the outline of a circumcised head of unusual weight and with a perfect bevelled rim. The gorgeous organ stands stiffly and straightly out with a slight flare upwards.
You’ll remember eight months ago when the seemingly unshakable friendship between big-waver Kai Lenny and Zuckerberg appears to flounder after Lenny’s former tow-buddy shared a video of himself training MMA with UFC debutante Kha “The Shadow” Wu, even calling it “the best sport.”
“From the very first session that I did, like five minutes in, I was like, ‘Where has this been my whole life?’ All right. My mom made me do three varsity sports and my life took a wrong turn when I chose to do fencing competitively instead of wrestling in high school or something…
“There’s just something that’s so primal about it,” Zuck told Joe Rogan. “Since then, I’ve just introduced a bunch of my friends to it. That’s been really fun, because now it’s like we train together and wrestle together. There’s a certain intensity to it that I like. Maybe there’s this cultural thing where a lot of people haven’t considered it. I’ve had 100 percent hit rate of introducing friends to it and converting them to people who now train. Every single person who I’ve shown it to is like, ‘This is amazing. This is obviously how I should be training and working out.’”
His trainer Koa Wu said “You’d never expect these guys to be able to take you down. Next thing you know, they’re attacking you with these extremely technical moves. You don’t know this nerd is a silent killer.”
Now, with the pivot to combat sports complete the reader is left to burden himself with the crestfallen Kai Lenny who must be reconsidering his comments from a Wired interview where he described his former BFF as “super cool, super into water sport, really active. Super fit. Like … strong, strong strong. Physically strong.”
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so zuck surfs and does ju jitz, will you dudes hire him at BG or does he not wear a v neck ?
I didn’t know I was circumcised until three years ago! Mammy asked doc to just take a little off the top. Hybrid!
Possible? Train with a guy in 70’s give him a year or two more! He loves it more than Zuck!
My 7 year old did karate for a few months and got some tips then a red belt, can’t fight for shit though
That’s karate.
So does this mean we’re on the cusp of a V.A.L. migration from surf to jiu jitsu? We’re all depending on Tudor to exact justice on behalf of all of us?
travis rice took over this winter from zuck kai shreds alaska then zooms to tahiti
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
I remember a flick with Dane and another Hawaiian guy at supertubes in L.A. Can’t find it anywhere.
quick pivot from a divot to a ribbit…when the sex wrestling gets too intense and “uncle” doesn’t work, my “out” word is ribbit.
RIP Dane Kealoha.
Edit he’s still alive. Some bad info going around.
from men’s journal 12/19 tamayo perry
In December of 1983, Dane’s career hit its highest and lowest points. He
won the Pipe Masters that year, showing the world a new way to ride the
barrel backside-a technique first called the “lay-forward” but known
nowadays as the “pig-dog”-and was all set to be the first Hawai’ian to
win a world title.
The governing bodies of surfing had other ideas, however. Due to a political pissing match between the ASP and IPS, the events in Hawai’i were not sanctioned, and those who surfed in the events would have all their points taken away and be banished from
the World Tour. Dane put Hawai’ian pride before politics and surfed the events anyway, winning two out of three on his home turf.
The repercussions were swift, and Dane went from leading the ratings to
having no rating at all. Angry and bitter, Dane quit competitive surfing
and fell into a downward spiral of partying and Backdoor Pipe
punch-outs. Realizing that was no way to live, Kealoha walked away from
the surfing scene, got a job with Hawaiian Airlines, and cleaned up his
life.
In an act of kindness and faith in Dane’s ability, Bob McKnight from Quiksilver offered Kealoha a job managing the Quiksilver Boardriders Club on O’ahu. He excelled at the position and soon relocated his family to Maui in order to open a Roxy store in Pa’ia.
Dane resurfaced in a big way on November 26, 2002 at Jaws, when he
whipped Garrett McNamara into one of the biggest barrels ever ridden.
Out of respect, everyone out that day gave Dane a wide berth as he towed
Garrett into the beast-and to this day Dane holds a spot in the lineup
at Pipe, whenever he wants it.
The last spotting I personally had of Dane Kealoha was last winter on Maui when Kaleo Roberson, Tai Van Dyke, and myself were checking out an outer reef from a cliff top high above the 25-foot surf. A speck on the angry sea, Kaleo spotted the pair
first-Dane and his tow partner motoring through monster swells at a
spot where, according to them, nobody had ever surfed. “Brah, that guy
is nuts,” said an admiring Kaleo as we watched.
Nuts? Maybe.
A legend? Absolutely.
There’s a bit of Dane in all of us…Live Like Dane
One of my friends went to Tavarua in 83 and Dane was there too. He told my friend he should surf on the pipe masters.
and that friend was you…asking for a friend…
Not yet…
True. Got some bad info.
my ex wife said cut some more off…..
Some suggest the practice in that part of the world was a medical one, to keep infections from happening, and it was post facto justified via ritual requirement to keep YHWH and/or Allah happy.
So no longer needs 4 armed guys to go to in n out off 101? 2 inside, 2 in the car
Let’s hope Zuckerberg revisits his passion for spear chucking cause that first effort was fucking pathetic. But, now he’s a silent killer. Chuck Zuck! Chuck!
Am I the only one who just can’t get into this MMA shit? I love boxing but I just can’t shake the feeling half the cunts into this shit are just doing it because everyone else thinks it’s tough and cool? Correct me if I’m wrong here?I understand Ju-jitsu is good to know and good for metal strength ect but to watch? Come on now.
the sessions are tame, and its a talking point socially. but they can pretend tough with the rolling, but streets are more brutal
Their is a rule set with training grappling gi/no gi… Yes a street fight is way more dynamic and your opponent is not going to react like training partner. With that said I believe grappling arts give you an immediate advantage if you are consistently training and to all martial arts. Knowing how to use your pressure to control another human is valuable. More importantly it teaches you respect and you don’t know what that other person may know? So way easier to say sorry and walk away.
Brutus training in a gi will make you sweat your ass off. You will drop twenty pounds really quick and will extend your life!
been doing it since late 80’s. was training with group while “scars project” was being put together. 1 minute matches were brutal….but yes these days the repetition is useful….but ive seen they still lack guts in real life
Came to it late.. Had a Clients son 6’2″ 200lb plus or minus, early twenties threaten me. He had me by two inches, 15lbs, and I have kids his age so. The only thing between me and him was the corner of tail bed of my truck. He pointed at me and spoke the words reading his body language hearing his intent. I realized my heart rate had not elevated and was calm during the interaction. Will never know but being calm felt good! Well aware some people have another gear..
DR–there’s this service now where you write lyrics to a loved one and it gets turned into a legit song, that you can then play in the car on the radio and hopefully the loved one realizes it’s a legit song about them. I’m wondering if you’d do the same for penises? Like, can. I send a pic, and you describe it’s beauty and worth, so I can revisit some glory? My wife hasn’t sung it’s praises since Slater last won a title.
Yes!
Most things from the Hebrew Bible and bodily practices from over 2000 yrs ago are fucked.
I adoré your conspicuous absences legend. How did you go, wear the skin off it? Xox
Considering mounting a class action actually. It’s nothing less than genital mutilation.
Crotch Grit