Kelly Slater bucks equality trend in sport,
wears luxury watch 57% more expensive than Breitling “Surfer Squad”
members Steph Gilmore, Sally Fitzgibbons!
By Chas Smith
Moxie.
Culture is an odd thing, though, no? Forever
shifting, moving. What was totally acceptable yesterday, using the
gender binary, for example, is today a form of assault. Drinking
soy milk, let’s say, a disgusting, hormone disrupting habit when it
was, just a handful of years ago, the healthy future of iced-coffee
drinks.
It is almost impossible to stand ground when the shift begins,
takes real moxie and verve to hold to “the old ways.”
Take the move, particularly in sport, to “equality.”
Equal opportunity between men and women. Equal pay between them.
Equal, equal, equal.
It is, and should go without saying, a wonderful evolution but
it appears Kelly Slater has reached his limit with equality and is
drawing a line in the sand.
The 11x world champion, considered the greatest athlete to ever
live by many, is part of the luxury Swiss watch maker Breitling’s “Surfer Squad,” as
you certainly know. The other two members just so happen to be
Australian greats Stephanie Gilmore and Sally Fitzgibbons.
Both openly female.
Well, in a recent spread, both gals sported Breitling
Superocean’s retailing for $7,190 Australian. Slater, the lone man,
wore the Superocean’s $11,490 Australian model.
A solid 57% percent increase.
It was not just in one pictorial. The Boy from Cocoa Beach wore
a 57% more expensive watch whilst the three lounged in a car,
ran on the seashore, stood on some rocks making apparent
jokes.
Gilmore and Fitzgibbons never got to wear it.
Only Kelly Slater.
But do you imagine if he takes over as World Surf League CEO, as
many want, that the men will receive a 57% pay bump while with the
women remaining flat?
Moxie, man.
This story number 4978 brought to you by VAER watches.
Use promo code splendor15 to receive 15% off the non-sexist watch
of your choice.
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Coastal San Diego enclave declares “local
state of emergency,” mulls changing e-bike rules after tragic
accident claims life of 15-year-old
By Chas Smith
"Do we want kids to die and ride bikes and be free
and all that, or do we just want kids to be safe and not die?"
E-bikes have, for better or worse, become a
ubiquitous part of the Southern California surf experience. Like
manna, or locusts, depending on your personal bent, they have
descended upon beach towns from San Diego to Santa Cruz, whizzing
along various bike paths at various freeway speeds, carting whole
families plus their Yeti coolers, umbrellas and Wavestorms, cutting
the tradition Trestles walk from twenty minutes to two.
Joel Tudor, anti-e-bike, recently posted a video mocking a tens
upon tens of freedom machines getting taken out by a rogue wave,
recently.
Fans of technology excoriated him for being grouchy.
Thus far, there are very few regulations concerning electric
power. They are allowed everywhere that traditional bikes are but
the tide may be turning.
During the early part of this summer, in Encinitas just thirty
clicks north of San Diego, a well-liked 15-year-old was struck by a
work van and tragically died. By all accounts, the boy was not
being dangerous nor the driver at fault. Just a horrible accident
though one that may lead to changes.
The city council declared a “local state of emergency,” in the
aftermath and is debating putting at age limit on e-bikes, require
a written test and a photo ID for those without driver’s
licenses.
Niko Sougias, owner of Charlie’s Electric Bike in Encinitas,
told Channel 10
news, “We should consider maybe 13, 14 or 15-year-olds
be exempt from e-bikes. I just cringe anytime I see a kid almost
get hit, and it’s like, what are we? Do we want kids to die and
ride bikes and be free and all that, or do we just want kids to be
safe and not die; I want kids to be safe and not die.”
Former Olympic cyclist Shaun Wallace, though, disagrees,
sharing, “Anything that regulates cycling is likely to have a net
negative effect whether it’s requiring licensing, or registration
or helmets overall because the benefits so outweigh the risks.
Perhaps kids under 12 don’t really need an e-bike. It’s not like
they’re going off doing the grocery shopping or commuting to work,
so if they have to actually pedal the thing themselves on 100% kid
power. I think that’s probably not a bad thing either.”
But what are your thoughts on the matter?
Do you believe that e-bikes should be free, that the nanny state
will always lead to hell or that common sense has a limit?
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Update: Bizarre twist in case of Sunny
Garcia as court documents reveal Hawaiian’s father sued for $1
million by carer for alleged incidents including “throwing a
suitcase…and threatening to commit further violence”
By Derek Rielly
"Garcia Jr. made a false police report of
'imprisonment' that Plaintiff was depriving Garcia Jr. of food, and
alleged other false crimes against Plaintiff"
(Editor’s note: The first version of this story
interpreted court documents as a civil suit between Sunny Garcia
and his carer. It’s since been revealed Sunny’s father, who shares
the same name, Vincent Garcia, although his daddy is Vincent Garcia
Jr and Sunny is Vincent Garcia III, is the subject of the case.
Hence the update.)
A civil suit in a Texas district court has shone a
little light on the state of Sunny Garcia, four years on since the
world champ and perennial Triple Crown winner was found unconscious
in room 210 of the Best Western Hood in Oregon, almost
dead, and apparently by his own hand.
The forty nine year old had posted this shortly before he was
found.
The lack of interest in Sunny beyond the initial outpouring of
grief in 2019 indicated that no one was expecting any miracles.
Years on, whispers, rumours.
What was made public was Sunny, who is now fifty-three, was
hospitalised, put into an induced coma, had kidney dialysis and
lung surgery in California being being sent to a facility in Texas
paid for by his wealthy Harvard-educated girlfriend Lori Park, one
of the first software engineers at Google. Park was the Champ’s
best hope of recovery, said our sources, as she has the “resolve
and the resources” to, if not cure, at least improve Sunny’s
condition. A good person to have in your corner.
A civil suit filed in a Texas court on July 10 by Park against
Vincent Garcia Jr, Sunny’s daddy, for one million dollars, however,
has shone light on a complicated and apparently fraught
recovery.
In the statement of facts, Park is “saddened to initiate
litigation related to these matters but is now forced to file to
suit to preserve her legal rights.”
Among the allegations,
10. Garcia Jr. made a false police report of “imprisonment,”
that Plaintiff was depriving Garcia Jr. of food, and alleged other
false crimes against Plaintiff and Plaintiff’s house staff
including that Plaintiff “assaulted” Garcia Jr. and that Plaintiff
and Plaintiff’s house staff performed “illegal medical procedures”
and falsified records. 11. Garcia Jr. false allegations caused multiple HPD patrol
cars to come to Plaintiff’s home late at night, terrifying
Plaintiff. Plaintiff was eventually completely exonerated of these
allegations by video evidence and an HPD investigation. 12. Garcia Jr. made false statements and threats to Plaintiff’s
staff and conspired with a police sergeant who ran her security
with the intent of impairing her ability to run and properly staff
the home. 13. Garcia J.r agreed with Plaintiff that he was simply a guest
in her home but then covertly attempted to establish residency in
the home so that he could not be removed for his dangerous conduct.
Garcia Jr. subsequently refused to leave Park’s property and
misrepresented in different instances to police officers and others
that he was both a legal tenant of the property and a 50% owner of
the property. Garcia J.r lied to police by alleging that he had no
other place to go besides Park’s home even though he owns his own
home in Hawaii and Plaintiff had notified Garcia Jr. that she had
prepaid for a hotel room for Garcia Jr. Plaintiff had provided
Garcia Jr. with the hotel reservation confirmation such that Garcia
J.r could verify the reservation in his name. 14. Additionally, Garcia Jr. lied to neighbors and security
guards about the nature of medical care being provided in the home.
This defamation caused the homeowners’ association to attempt to
evict Park from the home during the Covid pandemic, forcing
Plaintiff to retain legal counsel and eventually being forced to purchase the property on short
notice and with extreme financial cost 15. During this time, Defendant Garcia J.r assaulted Plaintiff
by throwing a suitcase at Plaintiff, following Plaintiff to another
room and throwing another suitcase across that room, and
threatening to commit further violence against her. Plaintiff was
forced to hire security to protecther in her own home
because Garcia Jr. would not leave and was dangerous. Garcia Jr.
had other violent outbursts and would talk of his past of “beating”
and otherwise harming other people.
The Instagram account @freesunnygarcia2 claims Vince shared
custody of Sunny with Parks but, well, yeah, see above.
More coming obviously.
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Surf demigod Laird Hamilton ravishes
hater’s mind with high-performance SUP move that will live on in
eternity!
By Chip Douglas
There's only one Laird Hamilton.
(This bit came from The Grit!
podcast segment Pros in the Wild wherein dear
listeners phone, or email, in their encounters with professional
surfers in the… wild, I guess. Enjoy.)
Hey David and Chas, I’m reaching out from the beautiful North
Shore of Oahu where I transplanted myself over twenty years ago.
Sidenote: I almost feel like anyone on the North Shore shouldn’t be
allowed to contribute to this segment as we are constantly
surrounded by the worlds best pro tour surfers, local legends,
former pro’s, you name it. Over the years I’ve had a ton of
memorable encounters with legendary surfers, but there’s one
encounter worth discussing because it altered my perspective of how
a wave can be suffered, and my perspective on one of the most
famous surfers of all time, Laird Hamilton. And although this
encounter occurred 15 years, I can recall it vividly.
Now, just to put this encounter into perspective a little, I was
in high school in the mid- 90’s. A friend showed me those
“Strapped” VHS surf videos of the whole Maui crew towing giant
Jaws. Of course I already knew who Laird was and was aware of his
windsurfing prowess and of course I had seen the movie “North
Shore” a million times but seeing how much better of a tow surfer
Laird was than everyone and seeing the huge barrels he got and the
big power carves he did really made me realize he was very special
and worthy of all-time-legend status in the realm of tow surfing.
If you consider the surfing he did at Jaws in the 90’s or and of
course the Millennium wave At Teahupoo it’s hard to argue he wasn’t
the greatest tow surfer ever, until maybe Kai Lenny in the past few
years (so that’s like a 30 year run as being the all-time best tow
surfer- –not bad…)
Another bit of context here, Stand Up Paddling was exploding in
Hawaii at the time. And tons of unskilled people were going out
into larger surf in crowded lineups and reeking absolutely havoc.
So while I admired Laird’s talent, I also blamed Laird completely
for the entire Surf SUP plague.
Anyway, my story takes place on Kauai. I was surfing a playful 4
foot reef with about 15 locals, everyone getting their share. All
of a sudden Laird showed up on this huge Stand up Paddle board and
I couldn’t believe it. This frickin guy had a full Ipod strapped to
his thick bicep with water proof head phones on! I had seen joggers
with this kind of Ipod set up but a surfer in the ocean? Never. He
came out and wasted no time going to work. This frickin guy just
started doing circles around the lineup. He never stopped moving.
He’d catch a wave, do all those dumb stand up paddle turns putting
the paddle behind him to mimic a layback (cuz you can’t really do
shit on those big dumb boards). He’d kick out, paddle back out
immediately, make a right turn to get past everyone, and then the
very next wave that come big or small and he would stroke right
into it and do this again and again and again and again WHILE
WEARING FRICKIN’ HEADPHONES IN THE OCEAN!
And maybe what was more annoying was these locals all seemed to
know him, and were not only not-bothered by this but they were even
cheering him on. They’d be hooting “ya Laird” but he couldn’t hear
them cuz HE HAD HEADPHONES ON IN THE OCEAN! To this day I’ve never
seen any surfer ever so oblivious to others in the water.
So we’re on this beautiful tropical island in the middle of the
pacific and you can see giant water falls in these majestic green
mountains, with perfect nuggety clean 4 foot waves and this
entitled frickin douche is hogging all the waves while listening to
his iPod! So now I’m like screw this guy. I don’t care about his
legend Jaws towing status or pioneering hydrofoil bullshit. Beyond
that, he’s a selfish douche and I’m burning him on the next
wave.
And then, he did something that completely retarded my angst.
This perfect set wave comes in and surprise surprise guess who’s
going again for his 16th wave in a half hour? But from the moment
of his approach, something is different. The wave is steeper with a
double up building right at the take-off. But counter-intuitively,
Laird is paddling way slower than he has for all his other waves. I
was baffled and couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t paddling harder
to avoid a steep drop on that big dumb SUP, he was liable to miss
the wave entirely, or at the bare minimum get pitched, which is
what I was dying to see. Then he shuffles his feet towards the
front of the board. He is now on the top of the wave, barely any
forward momentum, and his board is see-sawing on the crest of this
ledging, overhead wave. At this very precarious moment, in front of
all 15 gawkers, he calmy gives one last paddle and shuffles his
feet all the way into a cheater 5. The lip pitches the back half of
his board toward the beach and he slides backwards on the nose down
the drop, 180s so by the time his in the trough he’s facing the
beach and shuffling backwards into his normal stance and the board
completes the 360. A flawlessly executed Helicopter take off on a
big, dumb SUP! There was no stumbling or excessive leaning towards
one side or the other. He was in complete control the entire time
all while being serrended by his iPod (probably that “hey now
you’re an all-star, get your game on, go play” song)).
He spun the whole board around in about 2 seconds and kept going
like nothing happened. Now look, I’m not a fan of high performance
longboarding and I remember seeing the helicopter move done a lot
in the 90’s and thinking sure its probably hard to do but it’s kind
of gimmicky—- but to do one off a take-off on a dumb Stand up
Paddle board no-less, on a wave with some juice, with absolute
flawless execution- I know it sounds ridiculous but it was and is
still one of the most radical things I’ve ever seen in the sport of
surfing and I’ve seen some crazy shit in person on the North Shore
over the past 20 plus years.
I just can’t emphasize enough how impressive it was. Pure
mastery by a master of ocean board riding, if there ever was
one.
I left the water thinking he may be a dick in the water but this
guy is one of the most skilled surfers ever on earth. At that point
I truly believed only one guy on earth could have done what he did.
I hate to say it, but he went up several notches in my book after
seeing that.
He’d drop down again over the next decade with stupid stuff like
not acknowledging paddling Jaws is more challenging than towing it,
or colliding with and breaking the arm of a surfer during that
Hurricane Marie swell at Malibu.
But that helicopter take-off was frickin gangster.
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World Surf League culture of “toxic
positivity” tied directly to tawdry fall of former chief executive
Erik Logan!
By Chas Smith
Oozing pus.
Erik Logan has left the building, as we know,
but the stench of his dismissal, what he actually did, remains,
grossly permeating the upcoming U.S. Open of Surfing festival
presented by Wallex. Lingering thick ahead of the Shiseido Tahiti
Pro which, if I’m not mistaken, used to be brought to us by
OuterKnown?
What happened to OuterKnown as it related to the Tahiti Pro?
Vanished without a trace.
Secrets everywhere, man.
Silos of silence pumped full, at prescribed times, with an ozone
mist of toxic positivity.
The World Surf League has to be one of the most absurd governing
bodies on the planet, no? Greenwashing, sportwashing,
moralitywashing. What do you want washed? For a price, title
sponsor of a six-star challenger series event, it’s no problem.
Hunter Biden made a real mistake in not hiring the “Global Home of
Surfing” as his public relations firm in light of his recently
rejected plea deal.
NATO x Vlad Putin might still swing in.
World War III presented by Bailey Ladders.
At least FIFA is openly and unwaveringly corrupt.
But professional surfing?
Sneaky stinky.
And, herein, lies all of its problems. Normal folk know that
sunlight and air are necessary for healing. Billionaires apparently
don’t. The worst sort of infections fester in sealed off
environments and that is exactly what we have today.
Oozing pus.
The League will not shift paths, not now, if it isn’t forced.
The seal will get tighter, positive noise louder. Next ELo worse.
But those collaborators involved in this gross masquerade should
pause, for one moment, and ponder their role in the degradation of
the thing they actually love.
Dave Prodan is certainly too far gone and history will remember
him as a sad apple polisher. Chris Cote hopefully rehab-able.
Joe Turpel too busy transitioning to a Ken Doll.
Ronald Blakey, Strider Waskilewski, Kaipo?
Hope springs.
David Lee Scales were joined by the now iconic Travis Ferre,
anyhow, to discuss the state of surfing, today, and the upcoming
U.S. Open of Surfing wherein Travis will be hosting Factory by the Sea across the
street at Pacific City from Thursday August 3 to Sunday August 6.
I’ll be there the 3rd.
Come say hi.
Until then, listen here. And screw you, Dave Prodan.
