Hammer of the gods.
The drums, man. I can’t get the drum out of my head. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Drums and chanting and swaying, sweat dripping into my eyes, hands clapping and more swaying. Water spirits and fruit and blood. White, everything is white. Getting closer to some truth, irmão, boom, boom, boom but is it the truth I came to Brazil to find?
Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan.
Where, why?
You know that he was viciously and brutally disappeared by his masters when the tour rolled into Rio de Janeiro some two months ago.
Today, the World Surf League (WSL) announced that CEO Erik Logan has departed the company, effective immediately.
No “thanks for service,” no “we wish him the best in his future endeavors.”
Nothing.
Logan, who had elevated himself higher than any previous World Surf League CEO by making himself the face of the brand, had vanished. No more of his daily social media to-camera messages “taking us behind the scenes.” Zero posts wearing the skin of Brazilian surfers.
Boom, boom, boom.
Where did he go and why did he go?
Before flying to Atlanta to São Paulo to Salvador, before coming to the “scene,” I had exhausted every lead. The World Surf League, usually a leak factory, had tightened the screws. Chief Strategist Dave Prodan had traded the last bit of his soul to billionaire Dirk Ziff for a podcast. Nobody knew nothing and yet I continued to beat the streets, asking anyone and everyone.
I asked surfing’s great historian Matt Warshaw if he had any thoughts.
“Stupid,” he responded in the recent aftermath, “but at least twice I was struck my how handsome he is.”
Boom.
There’s something there, companheiro. Some deeper truth that didn’t settle in until I came to Brazil and was drawn to its voodoo state, drums growing louder. Logan came to us a chubby nerd. He left us a sexy cocaine cowboy.
Handsome surfers have more fun. We all know this and have known it and if you have pretended not to notice, well, that’s on you.
Shaun Tomson, Kelly Slater, Gabriel Medina, Andy Irons, CJ Hobgood, Tom Curren, Martin Potter… find me any ugly star and I’ll tell you right here, right now, everything I know.*
Handsome surfers have more fun and as if to hammer the point home, examine Hollywood heartthrob Chris Hemsworth beating the hell out of a Swiss tank with wicked cutbacks and a devil-may-care flare.
There’s a tie to Logan’s peacock turn, his wild good times, his sudden erasure.
Fun.
What kind of fun?
Boom, boom, boom.
Going deeper, destruidor de corações.
Arriving at The Truth.
*Mark Occhilupo and Adriano de Souza excluded.
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Hemsworth surfs pretty good.
Surfline
manHeadline: “There’s Red Code Swell predicted within the Chopes waiting period.”…and an unexpected clash with the Brazilian Storm…?
BG Headline: “What can we expect? More (as the collision between Swell & Storm) story develops…”
Geez chas, surfer mag is trolling you guys hard.
torch it…valhalla~
That’s misogynistic:)
– – – breaking news – – –
ELO HAS LEFT A MESSAGE
ELo has left a secret message on today’s edition of nerd-popular quiz-game Blossom, with the letters obviously spelling out
ELO SHALL SHOW ALL
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Presumably ALL will be revealed in tomorrows game of Blossom.
P.S.
Some say that it’s about his personal wavepool partnership with the Abu Dhabi Arabs (that he swindled off Dirk et al through his mastery of corpo speak), and that he’s not in Brazil where Chas is currently pretending to be while sitting in his Cardiff by the sea home…
Go candomble and never turn back, carnales.
MC: I stopped at Pele. it’s too early in the AM for a wank.
You always seemed like a 24/7 wanker to me, DS&S_S.
I kid. I love trying to decipher your posts without a codex. Keep on, brother!
Erik Logan is handsy. Handsy some. Handsy others.
joining in and very hands off
handsywith his new tribal family. “ELO, light the b-b-q and set the tables. you’ll be sittin with the kiddies.”https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….
Barton knows and you don’t! How has that come to be??
Perhaps he grilled Cote.
Who has, this far, avoided any attention as far as I’m aware.
He’ll have dirt fo sure.
Where’s he anyway ? Absent like JMP ?
I was in a voodoo temple deep into the night and still finding my bearings.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Chas is a brave cultural warrior. Second only to Dick Metz!
Ha! Further proof this is a fake travelogue. Wrong continent Chuck. It’s Macumba not voodoo in Brazil. Next you’ll probably be telling us Samba is from Peru.
Chas’ Accountant: “How exactly was this trip to Brazil a “business expense”?
Chas: “It was I tell you. That’s the truth. It was.”
It was actually a condomble temple, in the same fam as voodoo except voodoo has cooler name.
Sorrisa de Dada is a must for moqueca. It’s in the Pelourinho. Get thee there for me?
Your Honor I’ll move to strike the witness’s answer as evasive.
I’ll reframe the question: “Mr Smith, are you, or are you not, currently in the country of Brazil?
Throw on Rhythm of the Saints.
When we turn to women’s surfers:
Malia Manuel, Tia Blanco, Bettylou Sakura Johnson, Alessa Quizon, and Carissa and Johanna (inner and outer radiant beauty)
White girls:
CT hottest White surfers: The winner has to be Tyler Wright esp when she speaks incessantly about her period. Now that is hot!
Other Whities:
Non pro surfer Bree Kleintop (wow!), Alana Blanchard (overrated), the classless Coffey sisters, Sage (most talented of the group, great bod but lookswise just okay).
Conclusion: The dark-haired, non-White and mixed-race surfers are the most beautiful, sexiest and most elegant.
Who am I missing?
Sarah Brady, obviously
Oh yes the seminal pro surfer who also pretends she’s hot and also pretends she’s a feminist.
Careful there—any more attitude like that and you’ll wind up on her Instagram revenge reel
Jessie M D !
Big oversight. Thanks for spotting.
As a handsome man, I can tell you that I generally have a fair amount of fun when I surf. But given that I’ve never been ugly, I’ve no baseline to compare my level of fun to.
Also, wtf are the Swiss learning about etiquette and basic notions of board control?https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
It’s not just the Swiss. I can assure you this is a hyper-common occurrence here, down under.
Kooks are regularly ditching their boards directly in front of Chris Hemsworth in Australia? Sucks to be him, I suppose.
Bah! I meant in the wavepool down here. Maybe in front of Chris Hemmy in the wavepool too, IDK.
How do u shoulder such a burden
One day, when you finally become a handsome man, you’ll negotiate that weight in your own manner. I’ve been told it’s different for everyone.
three fins to the noggin’ should finish off that ugly dude!
“Finding Erik Logan” will be Chas’ first feature length film
Starring Owen Wilson as Chas.
Adrien Brody for mine.. hair died piss blonde
I thought he retired?
Agree, but title would definitely be ‘Finding ELO’
Just keep sniffing
ELO, call home!
Forgetting Sarah Brady (Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, et al.) and remembering the oh so handsome Kalani Robb and and the oh so dangerous Kala Alexander.
Saw Jason Segal walk past me a few years ago. HE IS HANDSOME!
Saw Wingnut before surf a contest in VTA: “Keep walking Nut ’cause the wind is moving towards a blowout.” (Didn’t the handsome Nat Young tell him the same thang in ES2.)
1. Ex wife
2. WEF
3. People that drive in the fast lane(slow)
4. People that build these f tanks
5……
How dare you insult my beloved ADS?! Shame on you!
Chas shade is sort of like a lone pine tree on an overcast day casting a faint shadow. Compared with king Slats who does total eclipse….
Wonder if our intrepid reporter has wangled some of those sweet Ziff Omertà $$$$$$ …. I hope so. That’d be funny af.
i’m stoned too, A. quit making me look up new words…as used in a sentence: Omerta’ is my new fav word.