“Ethan is an incredible surfer and your rant against him and me changes nothing, it just makes your country and fans look bad.”
Two months ago at the Surf Ranch Pro, Brazilian surf fans were left in tears after Gabriel Medina’s shock quarter-final loss to Australian Ethan Ewing and Italo Ferreira’s defeat in the final against Griff Colapinto. One fan was so sad he promised a gruesome public death should Ewing ever visit the South American nation.
“One day, you will compete here in Brazil and us will remember you. Get ready,” André Guideline wrote in a DM to Ewing. “I’m saying again, here in Brazil, we will kill you. Saquarema will be your funeral.”
Ethan posted the DMs with the note, “How good are surfing fans!”
Biz as usual, of course.
You’ll remember the sad Brazilian faces, of course, when Griffin Colapinto beat Filipe Toledo in El Salvador last year.
Read, Brazilian surf fans apoplectic following Californian Griffin Colapinto’s “shock” win over world title favourite Filipe Toledo, “World Shame League! This event was a joke!” and Latin surf fans vow to create chaos at next World Tour event in Brazil following Filipe Toledos controversial loss to Californian in El Salvador, “The biggest protest in history in Saquarema! Bring banners, balloons, planes, boo all the time! Make them leave due to emotional stress!”)
Now, in response to Brazilian surf fans ripping on ol Ethan on the World Surf League’s Instagram account, the eleven-time world champ Kelly Slater has come to the Australian’s defence with a series of impassioned comments.
@ceniovictor who writes, “Ethan is a regular surfer who only surfs the edge, he doesn’t know how to do radical manoeuvres or progressive surf. He only has that score because the WSL chooses a surfer to try to push down his threat, but he is nothing more than a surfer that we see in the thousands in free surfing”
To which Kelly Slater, who carries an army of K-Fans in the millions, replies, “Do you surf? It’s insane to hear a few Brazilian fans try and say this about Ethan, probably the best and cleanest power surfer on tour today.”
@ceniovictor’s response,
“maybe you need to review your concepts, and see the real surf revolution that were made by brazilians. I know this must hurt deep down in your soul every day, not just for you but for all gringos. you should just pay homage to the surf revolution made by brazilians. that simple. a young man who surfs today doesn’t want to imitate you surfing, let alone Ethan. they want to be and surf like Medina, Italo, Chianca and mainly Toledo. this will hurt your soul for years to come. sorry brother. and finally, as for Ethan surfing, it reminds me of surfing in the 90s. there is absolutely nothing there but you guys overestimating the average surfer. good night brow.”
Slater quickly hit back,
“Congratulations on proving my point. I made no bad mention about any of these surfers (who I think are all incredible and evolving the sport). Yes, I think Ethan and Medina had a close heat and that Ethan won. I thought Italo should have won the final v Griffin. You do realise I’m friends with all these guys right? I’m proud of where surfing is and this is not a nationalistic opinion for me. Filipe just surfed a couple of waves as good as I’ve ever seen this past week. Surfing is in a good place and I’m proud I’ve been a part of it for a few decades. Time waits for no man and sport and abilities evolve everywhere. Don’t be so insecure you can’t have to attack me. Ethan is an incredible surfer and your rant against him and me changes nothing, it just makes your country and fans look bad.”
(@ohi_marketing writes, @kellyslater, ok old man, shut pls.)
Slater pivots, howevs, when one fan, @cams_consciosness, brings up a conspiracy theory that forces humans into “this indentured servitude human farm.”
“@kellyslater so lost in nationalism that many are not even consciously aware of the words coming out of their mouths and the thoughts out of their minds. Just another program. Nationalism is a form of enslavement. Simply more division. These are temporary human avatars for our light bodies. Our light bodies all look the same. People get so caught up in these avatars. Even more so now with social media. By design. They want us locked in the sacrum low frequency that is Primal and tribal. So that we hate one another. Instead we should love one another. We should be able to travel freely without a passport. I could go on and on when you start talking about exotic Technologies which have been secretly kept hidden from us in order to keep us in this indentured servitude human farm. Look into the invention secrecy Act of 1951. Lockheed Skunk Works perfected radiant energy acquisition technology which would have gotten rid of all other Energy Technologies in October of 1954. That’s only one of them. That alone would completely change our civilization. We need to awaken our consciousness and the Kundalini serpent within us to come up the 33° of the vertebrae to the hypothalamus and then opening the pineal gland to awaken dormant brain cells to enlightenment. When that day comes, division will be gone.”
Slater replies,
“@cams_consciousness, sometimes you lose me and sometimes I’m right there with your comments. Locked in on this.”
Have you read about the Lockheed Skunk Works story? Wild!
Are technologies being hidden from us to keep us enslaved by rich masters etc?
View this post on Instagram
skunkworks
https://www.lockheedmartin….
the entire aerospace industry in SoCal revolved around whatever George Greenough was riding…hence, the flying wing/with a fin moved further back…Skunkwork’s redesigned it…Lightni’ Bolt. fuck Gerry, ELO, and surf-bosses who used to push us into shore pound cubicles. expect that fin overnight UPS!
https://s-media-cache-ak0.p…
About a year ago
https://youtu.be/i3BCAqaj6QY
Honestly, would like to see medina endure and overtake kellys goatness.
Surfing needs to take notes from skateboarding, snowboarding, etc. There should be a small wave world tour and one held in waves of consequence.
Skateboarding doesn’t have Megaramp and Vert skaters competing against street skaters. Snowboarding has downhill, park, and the backcountry Natural Selection circuits. Not all boarders are into the same disciplines.
I wouldn’t follow the small wave tour but wouldn’t miss an event held at Pipeline, Cloudbreak, Teahopoo, the Box, etc. It’s not to say surfers like Toledo are not absolutely insane in small waves but trying to put all surfers in one box doesn’t make sense.
Exact same reason we do here.
But in real life your name isnt Negatron, surely?
my non sequitur of the day: “Kelly…three movies in theaters today. which should i go see?”
A- Barbie
B- Oppenheimer
C- Sound of Freedom
He’s from Florida…the Barbie movie for sure
i’m going with OP. still hiding under my desk~
opp
Checking out Reddit surfing is my dirty little secret( I don’t have an account, and this is the first time publicly admitting to perusing the conversations).
But man they all suck and you can see the mentality of the new COVID kooks.
“Ocean is for everyone” “surf around the kook paddling in front of you while you ride your wave”
Save The Kooks! still spinning off of orginal surfer and mad mag cartoonists. back when that shit was funny!
https://balooie.com/wp-cont…
When kelly said “light bodies” I thought for sure he was going to reveal he’s become a Scientologist.
Jesus. There are cesspools deeper and crazier on the internet than BG, by far. Cover those rabbit holes up ASAP.
In other news
Here’s an example of Hollywood ‘builders butt’ aka ‘plumbers butt’, shown by a striking hard-working striker
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
They sure work their arses off…
One the reasons the strike has my support 110%
Pro surfing isn’t a sport, boarder line bad entertainment!
Scabs , all of yo!
You all moan and move on but without young artists we will have nothing to live for.
Fuck Disney and Netflix every other studio who won’t pay a actor or writer a decent living wage!
You do realise theres a world outside of the US, right?
Bullshit!
Striking!
need better ‘full moon shots’ to break-thru the dilemma. oh, and 34Cs.
I’m still learning how to use my phone.
Try trying turn off and back on.
Work for me
Rotary?
Nah… had that one dialled!..
Yestersay i undug a hole , i am very pleased.
and ’round the bar you proclaimed: “A hole in one from 500 yards out. Kelly double boogied.”
https://youtu.be/XyyeLpmPPPY
Got a bit of a way to reach these guys…
just tell us who elo banged ?
Oprah and his SUP paddle, at the same time
He put his finger were it wasn’t wanted
Hahahaha oh dear xox
Dirk’s wife?
wanked, not banged!
http://www.boardrap.com/wp-…
The frequent and completely pointless BG articles about instagram posts are my favorite because it’s honestly such a flex that the BG staff can post dogsh** like this and know we’ll keep reading. The disdain BG has for their readership is palpable and I’m here for it
Still the question remains: Are technologies being hidden from us to keep us enslaved by rich masters etc?
Most of us can’t read sundials, and we don’t have a clue as to how to use primitive stone tools. So, in a nutshell D, yes.
Yes. Do you know about Orgone therapy and the Orgone Accumulator?
Psychoanalyst Wilhelm Reich believed through it Eden could be retrieved.
He claimed to have discovered the universal energy that animates all life. He called it orgone, and he developed a technology to harness its healing powers.
Therapy was not enough. Politics was not enough. Only sex — Derek, I have your attention, yes? — was a sufficiently powerful force to reshape society.
Reich’s universal healing device was a wooden cell slightly smaller than a standard phone booth, in which you sat in self-confinement.
The Orgone Energy Accumulator, he claimed, would not only bring sexual liberation and peace on earth but also cure cancer.
But the government wasn’t having any of it. They didn’t want liberation – they wanted enslavement.
And so in 1956, Reich was sentenced to two years imprisonment for refusing to stop selling his invention.
His books were burned, in what remains the only federally sanctioned book burning on American soil.
The following spring he was sent to Lewisburg Penitentiary in Pennsylvania, where six months later he died of a heart attack in his cell.
I know well and even owned a genuine Marc Newson Orgone chair for a while!
Only the finest for you Derek.
Chairs Mate!
Your Avatar name has really come into play.
It’s a good story. It’s how they dealt with quacks back then. No 1st Amendment right to say any gibberish you want. I stopped smoking weed for good 7 months ago so it’s me that annoys you, not the weed. Cheers.
Weed the People
Burroughs had one but prefered heroin
Most importantly, it led to a Hawkwind song.
Ashamed to say had never heard of Hawkwind. Awesome song.
https://youtu.be/43ek77aAJTQ
Lemmy Kilmeister of Motorhead on bass.
If this is enslavement
Im down.
Is the radiant energy thingy not just a torch?
I’ve heard that as early as the 1940s technology existed that would have allowed us to communicate worldwide via picture captions, but that it was withheld by the cigarette and alcohol lobbies who saw more profit in face-to-face interactions.
Also, around 2014, scientists in Brazil were experimenting with a treatment for psychosis that mutated and allowed test subjects to enslave people’s minds via their faeces.
OWNED!! SLAVES!!!! JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA!!
Yeah. Nicola Tesla…blah blah blah…amazing person and eye-opening biography, if you haven’t read already. Kelly is channelling Nicola, for sure. Has been since the 90s. Brutus will confirm, fireside desert stories….
A heard of sheep waiting to be led
Used to being bottle fed
Fuck the Internet, fuck TV
Or anything that uses electricity -Insect Warfare
We can always turn off the electricity… Go surf and be happy and capable more off-grid.
Hmm, handshaped lumps of wood will probably keep the crowds down.
No.
These kind of thought bubble exercises are grist for the mill in the surf press. I remember as a grommet some of the shit in Tracks and ASL that they were telling us about seemed like there really was an illuminati or Big Oil, (or maybe the Jews, Derek?) hiding technology from us. Oh and something about Tesla inventing a perpetual motion machine.
There might be things kept hidden like backdoors to encryption algorithms, and I have no doubt there are people out there with fake passports like Jason Bourne, but keeping us enslaved? I mean if you stop and think about the Matrix for more than about 5 minutes you realise how ridiculous the premise is and how they could just kill everyone while they dream, and get more energy.
My favourite bit is how surfer magazine is out-beachgritting beach grit
griffin, stoner, and severson. LLC
despite adblok, you’ve been selected Helmets from “your blog selling back braces and herbal vitamins? that don’t work? menu change”…BG is still now offering discounts for out-dated horsemeat & candles/
Stories, D.
Stories are being kept from us for the betterment of rich masters.
Go the Kundalini Serpent !