She is 70 years-old, lives in Eugene, loves watching professional surfing and has never touched a board in her life!
Last night I read a portion of Cocaine + Surfing (buy here on Audible!) to the two people in Eugene, Oregon’s Barnes & Noble. Oh it was a intimate gathering, no doubt, though not unsurprising. Instagram stole my voice so now I just show up places and hope that, by some miracle, other people also show up.
This was not the case in Eugene but it was a wonderful time nonetheless. One of the two was a professor from the University of Oregon who was knowledgeable, kind, interesting and interested. We chatted about cocaine and then about surfing.
The other was a 70 year-old-woman and the miraculous future of the World Surf League.
Since the Association of Surfing Professional transitioned to the WSL some years back and Herr Paul Speaker was installed as CEO it was clear that the future of professional surfing rested on the backs of non-participatory fans.
There are not enough surfers in the world, the thinking goes, to sustain a whole tour and so others in Chicago and Des Moines and Alice Springs and Munich and Zurich and Brasilia who have never touched a surfboard have to fall in love with the spectacle too. They must begin to follow the exploits of Gabriel Medina and Julian Wilson. They must begin to thrill at interference calls and priority. The differences between a 6.8 and a 5.4.
I’ve openly mocked the very idea. Who on earth could give two shits about professional surfing other than addict, derelict surfers? The very thought on a non-participatory fan would keep at night as I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.
But those laughs turned to muted coughs in Eugene, Oregon as the 70 year-old sat and listened to me read. I assumed that she somehow got lost in the bookstore and accidentally found a comfortable chair in a virtually empty space so asked when I was finished, “What brings you here?”
“Oh I really love watching surfing…” she responded. “It’s mesmerizing.”
“Do you surf?” I wondered.
“No…” she said. “I have never gone surfing in my life but I really love watching the competitions.”
We chatted about who she liked to watch, favorite surfers etc. but I could barely hear her answers as shame pulsed though my ears. I made so much fun of Herr Paul Speaker and the rest of the WSL lot but they were right and here was their unicorn.
I did not laugh that night. I felt mortifyingly embarrassed for drawing two people to a book reading. I felt mortifyingly embarrassed for being so wrong about the future of professional surfing.
Well that’s one & it only took 100 million bucks!
Zürich in the house!
At a quick glance I though she was giving the shocker. Anyways, good on her!!
Well there ya have it. They knew what they were doing all along it seems. Seriously though, I thought the whole Blink thing was the height of being out of touch on the WSL’s behalf. But posting Tom Curren totally bogging on 2 waves (the left in particular was downright hard to watch) at the pool on the WSL site? Granted, looked like he was on one of Slater’s boards but still…poor TC looked a bit embarrassed by it all sitting hangdog on the back of the ski after blowing the left. Probably even more so after seeing it online. Should’ve ridden his skim maybe. But please, someone give me a somewhat coherent hypothesis as to how the WSL could ever think posting that would get anyone excited rather than create further derision? Dumbfounding
When I first saw the post I thought it was Slater wearing a wig .
How many other readings did you 100 miles from the coast? Newport would have been the call
And yet still, the WSL can’t count her (sponsors won’t) as this is lady has zero chance of buying a Jeep or a 6 pack of Corona.
It seems a good majority of surfers themselves, are not interested in the Wsl or contests.
Time has not been kind to Westerly Windy
I was a circus carney, that old gal pictured is 84, don’t trust her, she’s on the run.
Well hopefully you haven’t learned any lessons from this
Eugene is diabolical. Didn’t retire everything.
https://www.coastalwatch.co…
That was fun especially the witty reply to Jimmy Slade “You’d get laid “.
She could be a North Korean Spy sent by The Search (and not destroy ) ? Eugene is my middle name ?
I was alluding to the possible diabolical involvement of Mick Fanning in this strange tale. The recruitment of a sweet, old lady “from Eugene” is the diabolical part.
The silent minority
70 year old woman, or Alex Knost?
That’s Satan she’s shaking!
It’s hard to believe that Speakers Mom showed up ?