Toledo (pictured) hexed.
Toledo (pictured) hexed.

Mortal terror ripples through Filipe Toledo’s camp ahead of Tahiti Pro after revelation that Brazilians have no idea who li’l lionhearted surfer is!

The horror, the horror.

Deeper, man. Losing myself then finding myself. Horror and mortal terror becoming my friends. The bullshit coming out of Santa Monica had piled up so high that I needed wings to stay above it. I Had to leave. Had to come to the last place former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan was before becoming brutally fired then ruthlessly vanished.

Brazil.

I can smell what happened now. Like caipirinha in the morning.

My idea of great r & r has become a cold cachaça-based cocktail and warm acarajé com vatapa de inhame. The only ways home death, or victory. And on that note, before we get to what Logan did, where Logan is, I asked the rooftop bar staff at the iconic Hotel Fasano if they knew anything at all about competitive professional surfing at the highest level last night.

The World Surf League.

English is not universal, here, which shouldn’t surprise but did and the two women plus four men scrunched their noses, repeating “World Surf Leash?

Gabriel Medina?” I wondered and boom, they all broke into smiles and wild hoots. Pumping fists, showing passion.

“Famoush!” one hollered.

Buoyed, I offered, “Italo Fereirra?”

“Ohhhhhh!” The celebration grew in both tone and intensity. “Italo!”

On a roll, I dropped current world number one and champion Filipe Toledo, expecting his gilded name to bring the house absolutely down.

Spontaneous samba, vuvuzelas etc.

The celebration instantly stopped as they looked at each other, passing the name “Filipe Toledo” around the circle, each time accompanied by a light head shake, until it returned to me with a “Filipe Toledo? Não sei.”

I was shocked and wondered how the King of Saquarema was not known.

“Filipé Toledo?” I tried again, accenting the e.

Nothing.

What sort of voodoo spell had Logan cast while wearing the li’l lionheart’s skin?

Did he bring Toledo with him to hell?

Subscribe
Notify of
guest
37 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Hughe Johnson
Hughe Johnson
3 years ago
AI (for ever) .
AI (for ever) .
3 years ago

Oh come on everyone knows Pips, too scared to surf waves over 4ft

frank
frank
3 years ago

we should just wait a few weeks, then binge read ‘em all!

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
3 years ago

But are you really in Brazil Chas ?
Or are you sitting at home pretending to be in Brazil ?

How about a photo of you (with obligatory cocktail) in the Ipanema pool that Jessi fcMD of the wosl made famous, to prove you’re actually on the job in Brazil and not skiving off at home.

Cheers
Have a great day
(wherever you really are)

P.S.
Rumours are he’s in Abu Dhabi testing out the new pool he’s got sneaky shares in…

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
3 years ago
Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

So he can get on the big kid rides?

Otto
Otto
3 years ago

So many pent-up hucks over the ledge at Teahupo’o stored in that weave.

mike m
mike m
3 years ago

More lionesque.

Stick man
Stick man
3 years ago

They were probably just Lion to you.🦁

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
3 years ago

Glue coins on the ground, that place will keep you entertained for a long time.

channelbottom
channelbottom
3 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

Glue is for amateurs.
The real pros actual weld/braze a peg onto the back and epoxy it into a drilled hole.

astro
astro
3 years ago

You’re going to make us suffer aren’t you ?
Like pulling a tooth without anaesthetic…
Chas prodding tooth, “ How’s that feel? Not too sore?”
BG, “unnghh unnghh js urr up”
Chas rattles the tray,”Now this might hurt a little.”
BG, “ I no, I no. Et onn ith it!”
Chas, “Now where’s those pliers? Hmmmm”
BG, “Ur a shihea, you no tha, ight?”

Rocks local
Rocks local
3 years ago
Reply to  astro

Classic stalling tactic… predict he has a source off the record, trying to convince source to go on record, stalling in meantime.

E. Cardoso
E. Cardoso
3 years ago

Filipe Toledo isn’t as known by the everyday joe in Brazil as is Italo or Medina. Mainly because of olympics.
But it is clear as the sky some of the Australians (and probably Americans too) readers are so envy of Brazilian surf dominance. Filipe wants to live on a place with better waves and better travel logistics? So what? Stop this BS and accept defeat!

Blade
Blade
3 years ago
Reply to  E. Cardoso

Lion heart the brave! Is a posturing little coward who can’t surf proper 10 ft .. get off yourself kook and cringe again this year as we all scoff when little girl Toledo gets smashed by everyone not Brazilian

snapper
snapper
3 years ago

One must rush to the center of the Rain Forest floor deep….deep below the canopy where more species live than any place on earth and remove thy clothes….then light many candles for the missing Elo and he will be returned to you.

Otto
Otto
3 years ago

You gonna visit the Gabriel Medina Institute?

7dollarsurfboard
7dollarsurfboard
3 years ago
Reply to  Otto
Jimmy the Saint
Jimmy the Saint
3 years ago

Even the Brazilians don’t really give a fuck about professional surfing!

Apeman
Apeman
3 years ago

Are you gonna visit Charlie?

Barrelled
Barrelled
3 years ago

They disowned him when he moved to San Clemente.

Com Turren
Com Turren
3 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

and the SC surf community has never exactly wanted him around either. He’s been mostly tolerated, but not ever welcomed. I certainly don’t blame him for wanting to get the fuck out of Brazil though

disqus_00d1gIXedO
disqus_00d1gIXedO
3 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

I feel the same way about San Clemente re: get the fuck out. Have you been to Brasil yet? Go! In most of my metrics, it shits on San Clemente. If the orixas granted me a choice of a house and a life on the beach in either San Clemente or Saqurema, say-ya-fuckin’-nara SoCal. *perspective colored by being born/raised/living in SoCal*
Favela kids over e-bike homeschoolers who surf better than me. Chicks’ boom booms over June gloom glooms. Brazzos over Marines and rich OC dillweeds. Street parties over Stab premiers. Etc.

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
3 years ago

No cannabis, and too much poverty.

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

They don’t have weed?

ValiantScorn
ValiantScorn
3 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Yes, but its weak. The strains never get past 3 generations.

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

Wow, that seems odd.

Weed here is almost too good. I bought a batch of Maui Wowee and it was causing night sweats, vivid dreams, restlessness, had to drink beer to mellow it out at one point.

43% THC. Should have read the box.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

right. pot which mimics coke. sativa is not mellow.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
3 years ago
Reply to  ValiantScorn

That’s a good thing in my book.

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

I lived in San Clemente for almost 3 years.

Nice people, but easy to leave. I spent more time surfing Oceanside anyway

Com Turren
Com Turren
3 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

E-bikes turned that place from a mostly pleasant place to live and surf to a mostly annoying place to live and surf

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago
Reply to  Com Turren

In my day, nobody walked further than Uppers. I was in heaven.

Had a buddy last week tell me that the trail was dangerous with guys gunning to Lowers.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
3 years ago

Where hes from, ubatuba
Its kinda paradise if you got some Reais. But a bitch to travel from.

Manuka
Manuka
3 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

Phillip Tolled

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
3 years ago
Reply to  Barrelled

They got Tati in exchange , not a bad deal !

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago

Felipe abandoned Brazil for the OC at a young age. Unlike Italo and Gabe who are still loyal to Brazil. It’s like when you had a best friend when you were younger and thought you would hang out all the time forever. Then he goes away for college and joins a frat. As time passes so does your memory of him.

disqus_00d1gIXedO
disqus_00d1gIXedO
3 years ago

More moqueca


37
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x