Welcome to São Paulo.
Flying over São Paulo, the absolute vastness of Brazil begins to settle. The western hemisphere’s most populous city, eclipsing Mexico City, Chicago, Manhattan Beach, spreads over tree-dappled hillocks for as far as the eye can see. Red roof’d neighborhoods clumped everywhere, the occasional high-rise sprouting skyward all connected by ribbons of asphalt.
Former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan could be anywhere, or at least his secret. Disappeared by the organization while he was here, in Brazil, celebrating “passion” etc.
Not a peep since.
What did he do to deserve such a brutalist fate?
No thanks for service, not one well wish.
My plane lands with a thump and I disembark, stumbling bleary-eye’d into Guarulhos International Airport. It is not what would be described as “architectural.” No whiff of Oscar Niemeyer but even if it was something to look at, it would be hard to focus. The trip here, including the now-all-too-common delayed flights etc. is rough and especially from the United States west coast. I used to think Kelly Slater was a giant baby for refusing to come to Brazil, crudely and childishly inventing all manner of silly excuse.
Now I still think he is a giant baby. What sort of man can’t deal with the rigors of travel?
But I must admit to feeling off-kilter. Nervous. Sleeplessness clawing at the bits and bobs of sanity floating in an otherwise addled brain. What if my mission fails and I can’t at least sort of figure out a way into the “outrageous silence” coming from the World Surf League regarding Logan? That’s how one very well connected industry vet described it.
Outrageous.
Nobody knows nothing.
Why São Paulo? Logan was vanished in Rio so why not begin checking questionable Buffalo Bill themed bars there? Or favelas where boys might gladly part with their torso skin for a laugh?
Because I’ve got a feeling, man. An instinct.
I need a drink to straighten out but hate Heineken. How did the Dutch beer come to dominate so fully? To become the Brazil in surfing of beers? Wild how this onetime colony has completely and utterly taken over professional surfing at its highest level, though, isn’t it? Filipe Toledo is going to win the title this year. He won it last year. Yago Dora might win the year after unless Gabriel Medina decides to harness the dark power and run off five in a row.
I wonder how they’ll feel when professional surfing’s owner Dirk Ziff sells them to new Middle Eastern overlords in order to splish-splash in their Middle Eastern pools, raising World Surf League cups in Bahrain, Abu Dhabi, Riyadh while pudgy sons of princes eat powdered sugar donuts and squeal.
But where’s Erik Logan and what does his cruel beheading have to do with any of this?
São Paulo.
I’ve got a feeling, man.
An instinct.
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I’ll say it again…ELO complained about
Heinekenthere wasn’t enough sugar in his caipirinha and how could anybody drink this shit. The entirety of Brazil are (is) really passionate about their national drink and letters poured into WSL headquarters from every corner of the country: included but not limited to those thong-wearing men & women and favelas, liquor distributors, tourists, govt officials, et al. Chas may not be in-situ, but his ELO-wanted posters and billboards line the streets and fill social media.According to Sterling Spencer’s last podcast, rumor is that he tried to make out with Griffin Colapinto on a wild cocaine bender… cocaine and surfing… someone should write a book about that
I have a feeling this beachgrift is a waste of time
Your in Brazil because the writers guild have run you out of America for being a scab Chas.
Klan of all scabs
ELO suffers a power cut.
Hopefully, like Dunbar, Charles will get disappeared as well.
Logan seems more of a Uruguay guy. He probably wound up in Punta del Este; it’s soft af.
Subtle simpsons reference to his sexuality?
Lol, never saw that and I know nothing about his sexuality and don’t wanna know. He just doesn’t seem to have the minerals for an extended stay anywhere in Brazil let alone Sao Paulo.
COCAINE (and surfing)
How’s the tax deductible vacation going Chas?
Maybe a “Puffy Shirt”..
Just remember Chas, you will stick out like a sore thumb and that mkes you a target. 24/7.
The contents of your wallet are always worth less than your life.
Alright Brazzo… where’s Chas? What did you do with him?
Hes looking for white lotus, yam yam, Sao Paulo sally
Will you be entering the jungle in search of Erik. Find him with a humongous beard, shifty-eyed, screaming to the jungle. Drink with him seeking answers until you realize he amidst the foreboding jungle is insane: the horror, the horror.
If I learnt one thing from Blue Crush, it’s talk to the cleaners.
Dr. Livingstone, I presume?
They call me….Elo.
But what is he wearing!?
Red vans!
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
God speed Chas.
I just pulled the great American novel Welcome To Paradise Now Go To Hell off of my bookshelf and opened it up to the pictures in the middle of the book hoping to see a pic of a dishveled Chas so I could visualize him down there. BUT the pics are all of shirtless(slightly homoerotic but not judging) men and one big Up In Smoke inspired joint. So disappoining!
This feels like part two of the great American novel:
Welcome To Paradise Now Go To Hell
“they call me Ishmael, aka Chas”