Filipe Toledo tightens stranglehold on championship tour with dominant J-Bay win over Ethan Ewing!

The 2023 Championship Tour all but settled.

I am currently mid-air, somewhere west of Atlanta with countless miles to go until reaching São Paulo. I feel myself getting softer sitting in this metal tube, idling my brain with Sex in the City re-runs. Weaker. Every minute weaker while former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan remains missing.

Viciously disappeared.

Where is he?

Did he not return from the country of Progress and Order on purpose, instead heading up the Amazon in order to find more young men with insane chest tattoos that he could wear? Is he being held against his will or is he kind of liking it? What are the reasons for his banishment?

Nothing.

Still no peep on his once-robust social media channels.

All quiet.

Well, while I’m forced to cool my heels, we can at least discuss Filipe Toledo’s victory of Ethan Ewing to claim the J-Bay crown and increase his stranglehold on the 2023 championship tour. If I can read World Surf League emoji correctly, it appears that he, Ewing and Griffin Colapinto have all, officially, stamped their inclusion in the Final Five day at Lower Trestles meaning the brave coward can sit Teahupo’o out.

Good for him.

It’ll be impossible to knock him off his pole position and can Filipe Toledo, the best small wave surfer on the planet, be undone twice in a row at baby Lowers?

Doubtful.

What did you think about the win?

Where’s Logan?

Just give me 20ish more hours of travel and I’ll know something.

Sex in the City.

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tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago

luge…

Student8888
Student8888
3 years ago

…hair salon or personal trainer who specializes in no-handed push ups.

Brutus
Brutus
3 years ago

cook book……sashimi or cooked, or both?

Dovakin
Dovakin
3 years ago

Colombia, but that was different situation. If I’m not wrong, it had to do with cartels. Back in the 90s, most major soccer teams is Colombia were run by druglords. Word is that it was related to that.

Dovakin
Dovakin
3 years ago

I truly hope so.

Michael Flatlately
Michael Flatlately
3 years ago

Tyler’s Eugene

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
3 years ago

Her wife! Married after lightning twelve-month courtship! https://beachgrit.com/2022/…

notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
3 years ago

Don’t know if he mans up and charges a few bombs or if he mans up and admits to deliberately pulling out of the comp to avoid serious injury.
If he makes a decent living surfing ‘normal’ waves why would he risk losing it

Sean Connery
Sean Connery
3 years ago

That’s what I do minus making a decent living.

notsurfingtoday
notsurfingtoday
3 years ago
Reply to  Sean Connery

Sean you bang golden-era bond girls and sip vodka martinis for a living. Pretty decent in my books.

jacksprat
jacksprat
3 years ago

Charles, being the egotist that he is, begins his piece with, of course, himself. I gagged after one paragraph then quicky scolled down to the mor einteresting comments. No one gives a shit Charles. That being said, Toledo is streets better than anyone else on tour – particularly in waves of the head high to double overhead range. He’s faster, lighter, more critical and has the air game to match anyone. With the final in soft mostly rights it’s his to lose. No point him even going the Tahiti. Maybe an ‘injury’ or ‘mental health’ issues to materialise soon.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago
Reply to  jacksprat

Bievenue mon petite amis, come for the shit article’s, stay for the bum fingering! xox

Party Pete
Party Pete
3 years ago
Reply to  jacksprat

Isn’t Charles on some rescue mission that is taking him all the way to Rio?

Dovakin
Dovakin
3 years ago

It doesn’t matter, if he embarrasses himself at the games, he’ll become a national joke in Brazil. The public pressure on Brazilian athletes in major international competitions is no joke there. It has ruined careers and I’m not even exaggerating.

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

My question to Chas is, did you take your daughter with you?

License to ill
License to ill
3 years ago

When your bellend’s dripping foul green grot on your return from São Paulo you’ll re-read the closing line and chuckle.

DJ SEAWEED
DJ SEAWEED
3 years ago

ELO is in a safe space, with his SUP bros
🤙🏽🤙🏽

RQ.
RQ.
3 years ago

Go Gonzo or go home!
godspeed.

jacksprat
jacksprat
3 years ago
Reply to  RQ.

You know what happened to Hunter don’t you?

RQ.
RQ.
3 years ago
Reply to  jacksprat

Indeed. He lived an exceeding full and interesting life.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  RQ.

as influential in my life as Wayne Lynch. would kick over at the chance to have a beer with…(Chas) HST.

Tom
Tom
3 years ago

My Uncle just back from Brazil
Apparently spent 1-2 hrs walking his house looking at random keys ??
i pray for your mental health Chas – god speed

Howling Jack
Howling Jack
3 years ago

he’ll bypass tahiti to let his injuries ,,,, ;;;;; heal, in anticipation of the 3ft festival in san clemente

Student8888
Student8888
3 years ago

I swear I heard a tremor in Fil’s voice and a stutter when he was told that he had provisionally qualified for the Olympics, and ‘gulp’.. Tahiti next year. Pussying out with a bunch of surfers watching a WSL webcast is one thing. Pussying out with the entire world watching you and embarrassing your overtly-prideful countrymen is a whole different story. There is little to no chance the ISA Committee sends out the Olympians in anything but heaving Chopes, as this will be surfing’s biggest and best opportunity to show how exciting the sport can be to the masses. I think a big part of it being pre-recorded is the flexibility to make sure there is proper swell to make for great tv.

Sellme fitzgobbins
Sellme fitzgobbins
3 years ago
Reply to  Student8888

lets hope so

Wet Manatee
Wet Manatee
3 years ago
Reply to  Student8888

calling it now..Gabby wins the Gold, full Terminator mode.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Student8888

and re-runs of over-the-top daze as the live feed stops and goes…we’ll be right back! (to a head high left that just scored a 3.75 )

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
3 years ago

Hey Chas, ya might be off on a classic wild goose chase.
Apparently ELo has been seen around his home suburb of El Porto, next door to what looks like an oil refinery/fuel dump, just south of LAX and El Segundo.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Maybe you should’ve just sat on the beach and waited for him to stroll past walking his pet poodle…

P.S.
What sort of ELo would live in a coastal industrial wasteland ?

Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
Greebnurt Hurkurmurgurt
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

I think I see him in the picture. Can’t miss his pink coat and tie and red designer reading glasses.

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

El Segundo Beer and Beef.

Oil refinery to the south, the massive sewage system for the city of Los Angeles to the west and LAX to the north…. small charming hamlet it is.

frank
frank
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

he could have done it much easier if he just bought the the big ‘ol ladder…. amirite?!

Mark
Mark
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

He’s holed up in Shit Pipe

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

Haha that’s some post apocalyptic Mad Max shit hey.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
3 years ago
Reply to  Beef & Beer

built in 1906…this single-family residence sits amongst towering tri-plexes, is downwind from the hyperion plant and chevron oil storage & processing plant, and is 3 blocks from some of the finest beach breaks north of Puerto. Fine restaurants abound and there is a nearby liquor store.

Many shiny superstars are your neighbors and rent is in excess of $10k/mo.

Vagrants & ELO need not apply!

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….

Hippy
Hippy
3 years ago

My concern is not Erik, Chas has got this.

What worries me is Tylers period.

Lily must be a saint, any news on Tylers socials?

Internet Technician - Level 5
Internet Technician - Level 5
3 years ago
Reply to  Hippy

Tyler would be surrounded by sycophants

Jackie Moon
Jackie Moon
3 years ago

ELO’s command of the WSL was terminated, with extreme prejudice.


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