Jonah Hill’s ex Sarah Brady delivers stunning coup de grâce as actor is banned from Hawaiian surf spot made famous by Andy Irons, “If he ever tries to surf Hanalei again he neva get one wave without getting cut off”

Brady's most emasculating posts yet!

The actor and director Jonah Hill woke up in his beachfront Malibu home this morning and opened his telephone hoping, perhaps, his ex who’d been splashing their private texts over the internet might’ve run out gas, moved on etc, only to discover Congreve’s great line no one is angrier than a woman who has been rejected in love has never been truer in the online age. 

Four days ago, Brady lit a very public fire, dumping a series of what she said were private texts between the pair on Instagram. Brady claimed to be a “survivor” following the  end of a relationship with a man she described as misogynistic and a narcissist. 

Brady said Hill was made sad by her posting bikini shots, the inference being these languid poses suggested sexual availability.

The world quickly sorted itself into two camps, leftists siding with wronged woman bravely navigating the horrors of a controlling man and conservatives taking the hand of a shell-shocked actor who, again, is stung by the dark side of fame. 

And, now, Hill, a keen surfer, has been banned from surfing one of the world’s great waves, Hanaeli Bay, on the north shore of Kauai. 

Andy Irons, you’ll remember, poured his entire fortune into a house at Hanalei Bay. 

“I call it the Hanalei Bomber. It’s radical, it’s my dream,” he told me two weeks before he died in 2010. “I grew up across the street in my dad’s tool shed that we turned into a bedroom and it’s four houses across from the water. It’s everything I thought I wouldn’t or couldn’t have. It’s more than I could possibly fathom. No one handed it to me. I had to fucken go and do it myself. And, it’s my proudest accomplishment.”

(Andy’s widow Lyndie ultimately had to sell the Bomber with its seventeen-gees annual taxes. It sold for $4.3 mill to a guy from California.) 

Anyway, earlier today Brady posted a message from a supporter who writes, 

“Will do my part to make sure he’s clipped from surfing on Kauai. He was a hazard in the lineup when I saw you guys out at the bay and the only reason no one said anything to him was cause he was with you and you were shredding. There’s enough toxic masculinity in surf culture already, glad you are free of him so you can keep shining and elevating women’s surfing without his bullshit holding you back!”

Brady replied, 

“Thank you!! That was my original intention, to make sure no one was still calling him into waves because they knew him through me haha kinda petty but…

“He got mad at me that day, because I paddled up the point and he was too scared to follow me.” 

Another post followed, even more ominous, 

“If he ever tried to surf Hanalei again he neva get one wave without getting cut off. I’ll pass the world around to the regulators.” 

Here Brady writes, 

“Sometimes localism is the only thing that holds down safety respect and order in the lineup. I’m not condoning violence out of localism, but an order of who gets waves and when based on respect and reputation.” 

Is this Brady’s most emasculating post yet, describing a man she once supposedly loved as a frightened, angry kook whom nobody likes and who, now, will ever, again, enjoy the sublime beauty of a four-foot day at Hanalei? 

Also, the survivor thing. 

When I think survivor I think of brave Malala Yousafzai, shot in the head by Taliban for speaking out against the Afghan regime; I think of nine-year-old Napalm girl Phan Thị Kim Phúc OOnt  running naked after being hit by South Vietnamese bomb; or Aron Ralston who cut his hand off after being trapped by a boulder following a climbing accident. 

I don’t think having a needy ex necessarily puts you in the same league. If you don’t dig ‘em, delete their number, unfollow where necessary and move on. 

Or is that old fashioned, toxic etc?